B3ta readers - plz help!
My lovely people, listen up.

I have a spoilt child related problem that you may be able to help me with.

My boyfriends niece - she's 5 in November and spoilt to shit. The thing is - she doesn't demand, she doesn't strop, doesn't have pissy fits. Lovely girl she is really. But her parents buy her stuff. Loads and loads of stuff. Its one thing to want your child well presented, but completely another to never have her appear in the same outfit twice. And toys - they get played with for a month and then put away and replaced with new ones - not because shes bored with them, just so they're always new.

Anyway - at Christmas and Birthdays it seems to me that the custom for everyone to do the 'lets all put in for this' thing. This is the point of botheration for me, I'd like to get her something that some year or so down the line she can look at it and go 'my lovely Auntie spent.fish got me this'.

So my dears, what are your suggestions - appropriate gift for a soon to be 5 year old that already has more stuff than any child needs. Expense isnt a big deal, but dont lose your minds.
(spent.fish flipping and gasping, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 0:57, 24 replies)

Not more stuff
Take her out to lunch once a month for a year - sit her down and talk to her like a grownup. Kids love to hear about real life (as long as you leave out the appalling stuff).

Mort
(mortdubois lacks imagination, doesn't play well with others, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 1:50, closed)

A day out
One of the best things weve found to give our nephews is a grand day out away from the toys and the screens. They love it. But it probably only works if they lead somewhat sheltered lives governed by the telly and Xbox like mine do. If she is already out and about it'd be less of a thrill.

edit: beaten to it ^
(lazy killer robot found that beer tastes better when your older, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 1:55, closed)

refuse to buy into this
buy her a present that's just from you. something thoughtful and sensitive. talk to her, find out what her interests are and shop accordingly. the fact that you've bought this gift personally and put some thought into it will, hopefully, mean that she'll treasure it much more than any communal present.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 3:08, closed)

Get her a tattoo.
That way a) She'll remember it,

and b) her parents won't fucking forget it.
( gone, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 3:18, closed)

Arty?
Don't buy any of the latest plastic shit megaman stuff - if she digs art; buy her some pads/pens etc - Fostering creativity is the greatest gift (HA!)
CFS
(catflap I went out with Nicholas Parsons, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 5:38, closed)

The two here are great
Spending time with her and/or giving her something small and plain she can create things with is great!

I took my kids when they were 5 to the planetarium and we learned constellations. They loved it. Or--teach her something: how to make brownies or something fun and easy. She'll love you.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 6:54, closed)

Spells
I used to make spells for the young 'uns in my circle. I'd write a spell - for example one to make him/her sleep well (or if they were sick, one to make them better and so on). It would be personalised with their name but very basic. It would have a few simple (and preferably some mildly distasteful) ingredients for them to collect... 3 dogs hairs, one toenail from mum, a leaf from the tree by the gate etc. Then there would be instructions to do something with these things (usually to put the ingredients in an envelope or similar and stick them under their pillow). And of course some magic words to repeat three times.

I'd set it out a bit like a poem and print it in an olde english font. I'd burn the edges of the paper with a lighter, rub both sides of the whole thing with a wet teabag and then dry it in the oven. The font, burning and tea bag made the paper look really old and added to the wizardry. The rolled up scroll was tied with a red ribbon - or maybe wax seal but I didnt go that far.

The kids all loved it and it cost me nothing.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 7:54, closed)

What a lovely idea
I good one to take their minds of feeling a bit poorly
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 8:18, closed)

A good supply of wax
when you're running low is babybell wrappers. Assuming you eat babybell cheeses, anyway.

Cut a "seal" out of a potato or similar, melt the wax with a blowtorch, stamp it, let it dry then cut out the potato.
Then go over the seal for a second or two with the blowtorch to melt the back face and slap it down on the paper.

And THAT, boys and girls, is how you make a properly "authentic" note for your kids from Hogwarts or wherever else they want using only things you'll find in your kitchen.

If you've got the time, masking out a message and spraypainting over it in sparkley gold gives a nice shimmery "magical" look to the text.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:45, closed)

Give her ...
Herpes.

The gift that keeps on giving.
(flipper is going to die in a bizarre gardenning accident, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 7:56, closed)

a knife
Can't go wrong with a Swiss army knife. I've had mine for 20 years.
(frankspencer, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:40, closed)

Name in a book
www.nameinabook.co.uk/

Not that I'm recommending this website, but it gives you an example of what I'm on about.

I received a book about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were I was the star of the story. I've never forgotten it.
( Joliet, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:55, closed)

Yep my eldest got one
and he thinks it is the best book in the world
( sepang 's favourite day is, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:57, closed)

Wow
My brother got one with his name in it and still has it aged 30!
(Heggy, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 14:34, closed)

prezzies
Get her a good meerschaum pipe.
www.meerschaum.com/
Start 'em young.
(Pickettywitchfinder General, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:37, closed)

Powertools
Chainsaw or a chopsaw...
(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:48, closed)

A good classic book.
One of those books that everyone should read at least once: I'd say "Pride and Prejudice", or a Rosemary Sutcliffe or something.

Get her a really nice, hardback edition of it, and inscribe a message (like "to niece.fish, have a wonderful birthday. I'm happy that you'll think of me every time you read this book, all my love, Aunt.fish").

She won't read it now, but I think that building a good library for kids for when they're old enough to appreciate reading is important. Plus, she's less likely to trash the book, and an inscription from you in it will show her that you really chose it with care.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 12:29, closed)

I had a younger cousin like this
and for her 6th birthday, I bought her cheap trainers, cheap jeans and a cheap t shirt. I then took her to the adventure playground and the pair of us got filthy beyond belief. The poor girl had never been allowed to play in the mud and thought this was the greatest fun ever!

She's now 18 and still reminds me of that day! Also, it finally proved to her parents that she wasn't made out of bone china and needed to be just a kid sometimes.

Okay, I had as much fun as she did ... making mud pies is such an under-rated hobby ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:13, closed)

I vote for this!
You're an absolute star, miss.
( Fronds are waving gently on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 21:51, closed)

ha ha ha oh wow
Thats the BEST idea ever! YES! Thanks so much!
(spent.fish flipping and gasping, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 13:42, closed)

You should
Help her build a deathray, and destroy the evil parents, then take her for yourself.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 22:07, closed)