well...
woke up this morning after a night of heavy debauchery. in my flatmate's bedroom (she wasn't there, things weren't quite that debauched), which is strange enough.

but weirder still, the guy in bed with me HADN'T shat the bed. not sure how to cope with that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 10:20, Reply)

Ahem
The timing of this thread is most fortuitous:

Woke up this morning (da-DA-da-de-DAAAAHHHHH!)

Post beer/pink Moet/vodka shots in the flat of a fellow b3ta'n.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 5 Jan 2007, 10:12, Reply)

I too have fallen asleep in a brothel
At the bar, in fact. We used to work Monday to Friday every week in this town in Holland, and fly back for weekends (moved over there in the end, in a somewhat related story). Every Thursday night, without fail, we'd go on a bar crawl of all the bars in and around the main square, and then pop into the last bar on the way back to the hotel, which just happened to be in the back room of a sex shop / brothel.

More often than not we wouldn't get up to anything more than just having a few beers in there, the women mostly looked like 40-year-old junkies, but there used to be this one girl aged about 20 who was constantly smoking weed in there. One night I was sat at the bar chatting away to her and smoking from her joint, already pretty inebriated from the bar crawl, but it must have been quite strong weed because a few minutes later I was passed out asleep on the bar and they couldn't wake me up.

According to witnesses the manager and the girls carried me outside between them and left me in the alley round the back, and then when I came round I can vaguely remember being sat on the pavement spewing up against the side of a nightclub, with the transsexual barmaid from the brothel telling me to get into 'her' cab and come back and spend the night at her place (my hotel was like 50 metres away, but I couldn't stand up), and me responding with "mwah? Feeeeel fuuuucked man". Luckily I woke up in my own hotel room next morning, with my wallet contents intact!
(trashbat, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 9:35, Reply)

Every night in Snowy (pah) Sweden..
I go to sleep humming this...

Its cold outside,
There's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone,
More or less.
Let me fly,
Far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie,
Shipwrecked and comotoase,
Drinking fresh,
Mango juice,
Goldfish shoals,
Nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.


Apart from when i'm NOT alone that is...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 5 Jan 2007, 7:28, Reply)

after one particular night on the piss

blah blah blah blah blah.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 1:33, Reply)

escort agency
I've just remembered that I once slept on the couch in an escort agency. We were visiting my girlfriend's friend and I sat up til some strange a.m. discussing the industrial hazards of prostitution. (The friend had progressed from being a streetwalker, and felt comparatively safe as it stood to reason that if you were going to assault a prostitute you wouldn't call her workplace and give them your credit card number first.) Not being on speed, I conked out and woke up at someone else's house. No, I don't know how I got there either.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 1:30, Reply)

yet another one
On the allnight train from London to Gatwick,i was supposed to get off a couple of stops down the line and i did but only thanks to the ticket guy waking me up-just as the train entered my stop.

Length ?-huge but theres no lass to reap the benefits
(shug, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 23:23, Reply)

HA!!!
Can't believe I forgot about this one! August bank holiday and me and the gang find ourselves near bangor partying, as per usual. Early morning comes and several wide eyed face chompers decide to go for a walk to the beach. Get to the beach and one of our number decides to run for the tide line. We let her peg it, sit down and skin up, cut up and do those things you do. 15 minutes minutes later we remeber about our seafaring chum. We look up to the horizon, nothing is moving, no human form, nish. Me and a mate start having a butchers around. for 40 minutes. We are all shitting it all and can see the daily mail headlines already. We go back to where we were staying to see if shes turned up there, she doesnt for forty minutes. when she does she's shivering and head to toe in sand. Are you ready for this...

As she was running along the beach she tripped, fell over, landed and fell asleep. she was found by a FISHERMAN, who gave her a lift back to Hendre.

Very funny afterwards but lordy, one hell of a close shave!
Walpal you poxy nutter, but we all love you baby!
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 22:04, Reply)

Not exactly a strange bed, but sort of ...
A few years ago now, I used to sleep over my mate's house loads. I'll call him Luke, since that is his name. Sleepovers were fun, but I always used to wake up early, so I'd fall asleep at 3am then wake up at 7am. Ah well, never mind.

Now, when 3 or more people slept over his house, there was this game we used to play. It was basically the human equivalent of Buckaroo. Once someone had fallen asleep, the others would swoop in and pile shit on them until they woke up. At various sleepovers this became insane - one year, a guy was covered in empty 2 litre bottles, along with tubes of Pringles and dip, plus other stuff I just can't remember now.

Most of the time I was never the victim, thank fuck. However, there was one time. I was tired, and everyone else was either playing or watching Alex and Luke on Luke's PS2. I was sitting in an armchair and must've fallen asleep for only a couple of minutes.

When I wake up, I'm covered in fuckloads of stuff. There were various things from around the room on me, including some of those glo-sticks, which I'm sure were poked up my nose.

Those fuckers.

Somehow later I fell asleep again, but then leapt up from my sleep shouting "I'm awake!". I don't know how that happened, but it did happen, just a couple of moments before they covered me in shit again. That was lucky.

Just an added bit. Years before this, when we were younger, I was feeling ill and feel asleep when it was just me and Luke. Luke evidently played Buckaroo on me, putting a cup in my hand and filling it with glue and some other wet substance to look like ... well, I think you can guess. Apparently no sooner had he done it, I threw it over my shoulder.

Left a stain, I think.

:D
(ratthingbazzterd, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 22:03, Reply)

Sleep? Pah!
Liverpool, next years European City of Culture, also the place where I spent the night fucking a girl in an empty skip using only a tarpaulin as a blanket, we were too pissed as well so afterwards in that post orgasmic chill period we both fell asleep and woke up the next morning, fully clothed with a young scally poking us with a pogo stick.
The Mamories!
(jambolio, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 21:51, Reply)

benches
Following a night spent wandering around town, drinking cheap vodka and smoking weed with a beautiful lass called Alice, we decide it's time to go home. Being a gentleman (ahem) and rather not sober, I elect to go with her in the last bus heading in her direction. (the exact opposite of where i lived)

After an uneventful bus ride (where she fell asleep), we get off and she promptly sits down on the road and vomits all over...bugger thinks i, and walk her home, see her off and then realise that i'm now stuck in the middle of nowhere, about 50 km from where i live, at 3am.

What to do?...a bench seemed handy and oddly comfortable, so i fell asleep there for a few hours, only awaking to find a fox landing on me...not all that pleasant.

I wander on for an hour or so, find a station, find out that my train doesn't leave for an hour or so and promptly fall asleep on a bench in a shack by the tracks. (When i say station, it was more like 2 railway sleepers laid along the tracks to act as a step and the aforementioned shack.)

My bed was oh so welcoming when i got back
(Jindrak, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 21:39, Reply)

besides other places...
on a bodyboard

in the middle of the ocean

whilst failing miserably at riding waves, I guess I gave up. I was oblivious of the waves I was continuously on at the time, no inebriation needed.

Not that I woke myself up, I went over a wave and made a freefall to the bottom of the ocean.

Probably the most terrifying (and humorous) time of my life was to abruptly wake up underwater in the vaccum of a recently-crashed wave with no prior knowledge of the events beforehand.

it was a warm california day, though, give me that!

There was also the time where I got drunk for the first time in my life at a beach. After a terrible amount of flat gin-and-cola mixes along with jack daniels shots out of greasy ketchup tins, neither I or my friends felt very up to going home. Cue a very drunken drive to a swimming pool in the middle of the day, where I continued to fall asleep whilst face-down in the pool. This happened several times, where my friends would wake me up, all with panicked looks in their eyes as I muttered something about being on swim team and fighting them for sleep once again
(i dont know, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 21:26, Reply)

Moscow, what a city!
I just remembered one! I went to Moscow to work for about 4 days.
We flew in and met our fixer who tells us that due to the relative short notice she'd had, finding a suitable hotel had been
tricky so she shuttled us off in taxis to a central location on the Moskva River.
We get out at the entrance to a floating hotel. Whatever, we think, looks fun.
It had a big flashing casino sign and a restaurant and a night club.
Fantastic. We check in, we get cabins! Cool.
We stow all our gear (check the nautical terms there) and head for the restaurant.
We are in Russia to shoot part of a documentary about fighter planes and tomorrow we are scheduled to head out to the Sukhoi factory.
So we eat. And since we're in Moscow, we decide to have a few vodkas.
We had a lovely time. Food was ok, vodka was great.
Turns out the only toilet that served the restaurant was 3 decks down and through the onboard nightclub.
No problem.
As each of us made innocent use of the facilites we began to collectively notice
the overwhelming presence of alot more ladies than men on this barge?
And they were all rather lovely.
Now most ladies in Moscow are lovely as it happens but in the ultra-violet
night club they weren't really wearing very much either!

So it dawns on our dumb English arses that this is a certain kind of leisure facility.
Still no problem.
There is no apparent pressure or atmosphere, we're men of the world. Oh and so was the female producer with us!
So we laughed and drank more vodka.
We ended up with enough courage to think fuck it, lets retire to the nightclub to continue drinking! Huzzah!
We had a right old time, chatting to the lovely ladies and drinking vodka.
Nothing untoward happened, we couldn't have afforded it anyway, 900USD apparently! :)

Thats kinda the end of the story.
We slept on a floating Russian knocking shop.
(However I did drink possibly more than I had ever drunk before,
ended up throwing up all over my cabin bunk, being undressed by the producer then locked in my cabin from the outside cos
I had all the camera kit in my room. Then in the morning suffered the worst hangover in history whilst waiting at the gates of Sukhoi,
where they steadfastly refused to let us in. Can't imagine why. Flew home the following evening without shooting a frame.

But, Moscow what a city... )

*Looks up*
God, thats long!
( moosecow and that was... Karate., Thu 4 Jan 2007, 20:45, Reply)

The A406
I was driving to a pre-new years eve party and got stuck in traffic, we were at a standstill for so long I managed to nod off. If you were late into London on Saturday night, it may well have been partially my fault.
(atomkinder is deeply unfashionable, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 19:42, Reply)

me and some fiends where very drunk one night in town.....
and decided to sleep in a small wooden shack thingy we knew about up in the forest (bird watching lookout i think). So we walked in the dark for about 5 miles, during which one mate fell over, and fell asleep, in a large puddle until we dragged him out. when we arived this mate quickly fell asleep again, and the rest of us whiled the night away by lighting bangers, and throwing them at him to wake him up.
(biggiantmat, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 19:31, Reply)

BugBoyBeast....
...the Pennine Way doesn't go anywhere near the Grampians. The top end is at Kirk Yetholm, which is only just in Scotland.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 19:19, Reply)

A drawer.
(Well, I was a baby at the time).
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 18:25, Reply)

6AM
Beach
Under a wooden pier
Next to a power station
In bloody Tel Aviv, of all places.

Mobile phone not in my pocket.
Still drunk.
Meeting scheduled for 7:30am.

Vomit on my trousers.

15 miles from my Hotel (when I eventually found a taxi).

I'd gone for a quiet drink in the hotel bar, and that's genuinely all I can remember!
( The Boy T, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 18:20, Reply)

on the landing
at a friend's house
on a mattress
after a 'gathering'
having just shagged another mate's younger sister
loudly

in the morning, every moan was relayed back to me by my friends. except the one who's sister it was. he just looked at me strangely for a while.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 17:37, Reply)

by myself...
my boyfriend broke up with me today...so for the first time in ages ima going to be sleeping by myself...

sorry for lack of humour but i loved him...

Peace

His length was outa this world but thats not why ima sad :(
(Fluent In Bentish Living in Scatman's World, tis being fun!, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 17:36, Reply)