I can make a "drip" sound
... by hitting my cheek with my finger and doing a certain tongue movement. Like Cameron Fry in Ferris Buellers Day Off
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 12:36, 6 replies)

Last!
Keeping track of the time is one thing, but I'm shit with keeping up with what date it is.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Not sure how I manage it
But I seem to have the unusual talent of winding up Baldmonkey, Rory Lyon and several other /talkers just by posting.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:47, 7 replies)

People tell me that my dialup internet access is obsolete
but I think it's perfectly fast enough.



Yeah, almost certainly been done.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:24, 4 replies)

I can piss off the interweb!
by peddling the same joke out each week, I can become more annoying than Jedward and other assorted Cowell puppets
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:33, 3 replies)

I am able to make myself invisible.
Unfortunately I don't know when I'm doing it.

A few weeks ago I arranged to meet some friends at a local shopping centre. When I arrived I rang them and we arranged to meet outside a shop in the next few minutes. Their son walked straight past me into the shop, followed a few seconds later by his father who also didn't see me. At least the mother recognised me. On another occasion I was out with my father and we met someone both of us have worked with. I had sat opposite this person less than ten years ago. Dad had worked in the same building as him at least 25 years ago on the couple of days a week he was in the office. Who did the chap recognise and talk to? Not me.
(jvz, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:53, 2 replies)

Many years ago I memorized ..
.. the full name of Johann Gambolputty [..] of Ulm, from the Monty Python sketch. These days I only remember half his name, up until the Grumblemeier part. I guess I could easily pick the rest up again if I studied it a but. However, it has turned out to be an exceptionally useless talent so I guess I won't bother.

I also remember the full German lyrics for 99 Luftballons. Actually contributed to getting me laid once long ago, so at least that wasn't a waste of time.
(spinoza, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:48, 5 replies)

I'm so double-jointed
I can tie my knees into a Full Windsor without the use of a mirror.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)

A very shitty talent.
If anywhere in the Southeast of England there is a person either pooping or masturbating in the street, I will inevitably be 5 paces behind them.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:33, 9 replies)

I can keep time in my head
I don't mean to music, actual time. My mate tested me with a stopwatch and I got to four minutes before I went out by a full second. This was whilst in the pub talking bollocks and having beer.
It's a skill old submarine captains develop, however that's where the similarity ends
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:34, 1 reply)

Apart from certain talents......
... that Mrs S can attest to (ahem!), I can:
- mimic most accents convincingly
- make my eyebrows do the Mexican Wave
- cross my eyes, then move the right one to the far right and then the left to the far left
- sing a harmony to most songs
- infuriate Mrs S by doing the most un-infuriating things.

Perhaps the most unusual thing I can do is heal quickly. My father has the same ability. After a bowel cancer op he was home in 4 days, right as rain, just a little tender where the stitches were.

Earlier this year, I had an accident with a stove and split my thumb severely. After 3 days I went back to A&E to change the dressings. The doctor examined it and queried how long it had been since the accident.
When I said 3 days he was astonished, and said it looked like it had been healing for 3 weeks! I hope this is one trait I have passed to Sebulbette (and Sebulbette Minor) as she has also inherited her Daddy's clumsiness.
(Sebulba continues to fight evil with evil....., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:34, 1 reply)

my super power is shite!
What ever call centre I ring I will always get through to someone who cannot speak english properly!

Supers my arse!
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:08, 7 replies)

Massive Debts
Despite not actually having any debts, I seem to have a talent for accumulating a huge number of threatening letters for people either with a similar name to mine, or a completely different name.
One such *debt* has followed me through the last two places I have lived, despite my not having ever delt with the company in question, or having the name that they are sending the letters to.

I get about 6-10 per week.
(dchurch bah, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:04, 5 replies)

i think my only real talent
is making perfume smell nice. whichever perfume i wear, people stop me to ask me what it is, and then say accusingly, "oh it doesn't smell like that on me."

it's a very lame super-power, but it's all i've got. well, that and the ability to deep-throat without gagging, but going on about that and how much i love blow-jobs would just be attention-seeking, and i am totally not an attention-seeker of any sort in any way, no sir, i just hate that attention, i surely do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 0:17, 18 replies)

Due to the written word lacking visual nuances
I seem to have a talent for rubbing people up the wrong way, purely by not adding a fecking winking emoticon after ive commented on their forum post about being hung over after a night out followed by a massive argument
I guess I shall have to use my talents of cake making to diffuse bruised egos tomorrow
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 23:15, 5 replies)

Crunch.

I have hyper-extensive elbows, fingers and knees (probably others but I haven't really checked), and I can thus bend my fingers back to just over 90 degrees, when I lock my knees and elbows out they actually bend backwards about ten degrees (I can't lick my elbows - bugger) and I can crack my arm slightly (but noticeably) out of its socket too, just by using the muscles in my shoulder.

The most common means by which I demonstrate the latter of the three is to basically tell someone* "put your hand on my shoulder" - I then crack the arm out of its socket and release the muscles, letting it slide back into place. To see the look on people's faces when I explain what they are feeling is priceless. I don't think it is fully dislocated although judging by the sensation I get whilst doing it, it probably would snap fully out if I pushed it hard enough.

Weirdly, I can operate either arm normally whilst it is "dislocated".

*Obviously not just random people I see on the street.
( Awk Industries is actually a helic- NO, STAY BACK SHARK!, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 23:10, Reply)

Sometimes I think up the most unbelievably hilarious jokes.
I just came up with this one, for example:

Did you hear about the thief who was caught very early in the morning?

He was up before the judge.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 22:54, 4 replies)

infallible body clock
I can generally tell the time to within a couple of minutes, whatever I'm doing, without looking at a clock. I'll have a wild guess and nine times out of ten I'm almost bang on, and I'll often find I've happened to look at the clock at dead on the o' clock or half past the hour.

If I need to meet someone, and I've got a few things to do first I can say "I'll be with you at four-ish" and without needing to particularly be on time and without really making an effort I'll be ready at 4, on the dot.

I have to try really hard to be late - for example if I'm meeting someone who's always late themselves - and even then I'll usually just be on time rather than 5 minutes early.

It may be genetic, my parents are painfully prompt to everything; as a child we used to go to the cinema and sit there with all the lights on for 20 minutes waiting for those pre-trailer crappy local adverts to come on.

Oh and I've always be really good at spelling and grammar (but rubbish at maths). It's really annoying me this week that the photo challenge is misspelled (its "inappropriate")....
(TheFlyingOnion. looking forward to, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 22:19, 10 replies)

I can sit down on a hard chair
with a force proportionate to how much my bollocks are sagging. For example, after a hot bath I tend to sit down very hard.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 22:14, 3 replies)

medically dead
I can slow my heartbeat to a standstill through force of will alone. As I write this, I am technically dead. I am able remain cogent and upright purely through that same ferocious effort of will.

In fact, I am able to control my pain receptors so that I feel nothing. As I write this, I am half-trapped under a combine-harvester that has fallen through my roof from a passing cargo plane.

I could of cousre use the internet to attempt some kind of contact with the emergency services, but why would I bother? I am already dead and feeling no pain. More to the point, my head has been severed completely from my body. I am communicatiikng with my typing fingers purely through the force of my will.

And I can bend my thumb back at an unnatural angle. So, unnatural, indeed, that I can scratch my pancreas. Through my perineum.
(Brand name, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 21:19, 4 replies)

I have a natural ability
to pick out plot-holes in films. This is why I haven't been to the picture house in years and rarely watch a film/DVD on TV that isn't extremely Sci-Fi or fantasy. Not because I wouldn't enjoy it, but because me saying "oh for fuck's sake, that simply wouldn't happen" tends to grate on my family after the third time.

I don't know how I managed to make it to the end of Armageddon.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 21:16, 6 replies)

I can play the piano and hold a conversation at the same time, or sing a completely different song.
Apparently this is really difficult and not anything to do with getting to the point where your hands know what they're doing without any intervention from your brain, oh no.

Also, when I say I can play the piano, I can play Chopin and Mendelssohn, not fucking *Titanic.*
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 20:33, 9 replies)

People seem to be misinterpreting "unusual talents"
for "I belong in a freak show". Being 'double-jointed' isn't a talent. Being able to climb into a shoebox is a talent.
Being able to spunk very far isn't a talent. Getting it in a cup from the other side of the room is a talent.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 20:19, 12 replies)

I seem to have a talent for eating sugar.
I apparently have a very high metabolism. I can eat several candy bars in one sitting and feel like I've just had a nice rest and get energetic. I will drink coffee and eat candy and be off like I've just snorted a load of cocaine.

Sometimes I'll suddenly get a craving for something, like maybe Pixie Sticks, and have to go to the gas station to buy one of those brontosaurus-erection sized ones and kill it in about twenty minutes. I get jacked up on sugar and can suddenly work like a fiend, then crash hard at night. My weight stays about the same no matter what.

It drives my wife insane.
( Wanderer, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 20:07, 14 replies)

Oh yes
I can undo any bra almost instantly, but only reaching around from the front, one-handed. When I'm fiddling about with it from the back, I become a cack-handed imbecile and lose all my sexual cred.
In fairness, I suppose that's how they're designed.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 15:11, 4 replies)

IQ
Ok, after a dull response, a more interesting one.

I have a very high IQ. I haven't had it measured formally since I was young, but every informal test puts it in the high 160's-180's. I say this without meaning to brag because I think the whole thing is a load of steaming bullshit. I'm merely lucky that my personal roster of mental talents happens to match with the ones IQ testers like to measure - logical thinking and verbal dexterity. Among the many, many things I'm crap at are:

Learning languages
Recognising faces and remembering names
Dealing with money
Understanding and creating metaphors
Understanding subtext in conversations
Flirtation and banter
Multitasking
Working quickly and efficiently
Remembering birthdays, school trips and other events
Drawing
DIY and engineering

All of these are, to my mind, important mental skills, valuable to the human gene pool and much missed by me. IQ ignores them all. (And there are other things I *am* good at but IQ tests don't measure such as musical appreciation, acting and telling jokes) It's just a random measurement of an arbitrarily chosen skill. Who cares?
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 15:04, 35 replies)

Belly dancing
I have been able since a young age to do what I believe is called the 'camel' (and indeed the 'reverse camel'), where you roll your belly from top to bottom. Looks less impressive on my paunchy, hairy 36-year-old belly than it did when I was 10, though.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 14:49, 3 replies)

I have a brilliant sense of direction
Comes in very useful when out mountain biking and when I'm trying to drive somewhere, find the road is shut and the diversion signs dump you in a container port. I can't reel off coordinates, but can find my way to where I need to go without too much trouble.

People who can't go outside without sat navs or don't know where "Manchester" or "Birmingham" are frustrate me.
( thistle, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 14:42, 2 replies)

I havent
Hiccuped in two years.

I can strangely control many bodily reflexes and functions by simply thinking about them and turning them off, e.g sneezes, hunger, sleep and currently working on pain control.

So far...thumbs up!
(Dragonpity, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 13:43, 2 replies)

Tongue Wave
www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_uT_6yTm24&feature=player_embedded

Bit of a waste as I'm not into lesbianism.
(beckybuttons, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 12:56, 2 replies)