I've always had strange taste in men (sorry love)
Neil Tennant, Bill Murray and the West Brom manager Brian Talbot were on my bedroom wall twenty years ago.
When I was 15 I was the only girl in a computer studies class. Long, long hours were spent writing in Basic (10 You smell 20 Goto 10 etc.) and the boy sat opposite me (I'll call him Benny) developed a bit of a crush on me. God knows why. 15 year old Betty was very naive, geeky and unattractive..I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 17. He used to walk me home and we went to the pictures once but to be honest real boys scared me so i wasn't very interested. Once Benny realised I wasn't interested the poetry began, then the 'drawings' and then he began sitting on the wall outside my house. Eventually my dad had to go out and tell him that if he didn't clear off he'd have to get all 'dadly' on his ass. Anyway all went quiet, twenty two years passed and I didn't think of this lad at all. Indeed when my child was born I called him 'Benny' as it's also my Grandad's name. Imagine my fear when I get a message from Stalkers reunited.."I see you called your son after me. You've obviously spent twenty years thinking of me as i have you" AAAAARRRRGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH.
(Betty Spencer did a whoopsie on the carpet on, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:44, 6 replies)

Sorry for another response but one very strange crush I had when I was about 13 was on:
Chun-Li from the SNES version of Street Fighter II*

I got very adept at pressing the pause button just after she was knocked to the ground or got leg sweeped by Ken or Ryu.


_{*in my defense I was a very sheltered child in a presbyterian household}
( Bamboo Steamer, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:39, 3 replies)

In no particular order...
Rebecca de Mornay in Risky Business. I creamed my young strides during the subway scene.

Miss Cowan, my history teacher - 1st year at High School. She was in her early 20s and absolutely ball-achingly hot. Figure hugging skirts and blouses that only just managed to contain the delights therein. By god how those breasts spoke to me.

Mrs Bryce, English teacher. More mature, but very very sexy indeed - husky voice, pencil skirts, high heels. I sat down at the front with a boner for most of 3rd year.

Emma Freud, the little minx. She was absolutely filthy. In my head anyway.

Debbie Greenwood. She seemed to be on every TV programme back in my youth. I nearly fwapped myself unconscious some days.

Cindy Day. "Who the hell is that?" I hear you ask. She was one of the hostesses on The Price Is Right (the original version with Leslie Crowther). Very foxy indeedy. Friday nights were always a night in - locked in my room with my face pressed up to my Bush portable telly. By christ how I'd like to have had my face pressed against her bush...

My own son is now 12, and has a portable telly in his room. Christ knows what goes on in there, but I'm learning to knock before I go in.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:34, 1 reply)

when i was a teenager...
first post, may be a tad long.

I used to hang out at a skate park, well i say skate park, more a precariously constructed death hole made from what appeared to be old ikea furniture, still it was mostly ok and fun was had by all.
Girls were a rarity at best but there was one regular by the name of Alice. Alice was a bit, shall we say... insane? yes, definitely insane. i remember the time she forcibly handcuffed herself to me and we had to eventually have someone cut them off with an angle grinder, but thats another story. She was also about two year older than most of us at the time and made us all itch in funny places.
One day Alice was tearing up the the ramps and we were all standing around itching in funny places, and she eventually comes up to us and states a challenge. "if any of you can stall on the music, then i guarantee we can have a good time afterwards".
The music, i could write pages about the music but basically it was a vert ramp that went up a good 6-7 metres with a chunky drup in on the other side. It was named the music because of the noise people made when invariably failing and destroying the skin on there legs on the way back down.
I conveniently forgot this and volunteered my services. hell if i got to slip a finger in something damp and warm i was game.
And lo i did take off at great speed toward the music. i hit the drop in perfectly tucked in low to minimise wind resistance on the way up felt my truck connect with the rail and then nothing.
I awoke moments later with what seemed like tons of wreckage around me i looked down at my legs.
i woke up minutes later in the back of an ambulance surrounded by doctors and Alice, i ask what happened, she said i hit the rail perfectly but as i did the whole loving ramp came down, a doctor made a joke about maybe i should watch my weight, i didn't laugh.
8 years later and still i'm haunted by that teenage crush that makes me walk wobbly...

*pop*
( Bishop Yozz remembers when lily savage advertised oasis..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:18, 9 replies)

Ooooommmmm
Peter Davison's Dr Who. Mike Oldfield.
An amazingly painful crush on the keyboard player from a band called Sky (yes, the one with Herbie Flowers in it, should anyone have the faintest idea who I mean) - I had invented a whole personality for him as, this being that days of no internet and Sky not exactly being the sort of band you'd see in Smash Hits, I had never heard him speak nor seen more than one publicity still of him. But jaysus, it was a painful crush and no mistaking, at twelve. It went on til I was thirteen so it counts. ;)

Don't know if any of these make my go wobbly now though. Poor old Steve is most likely ancient if he's still about.

Wobbly making now are:
Jeff Healey (altho the man is no longer with us, but eeeee, talent in spades, sense of humour and doesn't hurt that he was tall blond and gorgeous)
The guitarist in one of the bands I'm in. In fact both guitarists. I'm engaged to one of them, who is the centre of my universe, but if he ever left me once I'd figured out life was worth living again I'd crawl over broken glass to get to the other one. If he didn't have a wife and child this is - but we're talking harmless crushes here not relationship breaking plans so .... yeah.)
All of these are tall (well, taller than me anyway), blond and gorgeous. Where as in my later teens and twenties I was more into yer dark haired bloke. I've obviously gone full circle.
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:05, 5 replies)

GCSE French, 1991
We had a rather fat, very lazy and terribly ugly French teacher (Miss Witchall), who's preferred method of 'teaching' was to screen old French movies to terminally bored teenage boys, in the vain hope that we'd pick up the lingo via some kind of absorption process.

Double-French on a Thursday afternoon was a snooze fest. One unintelligble French flick after another. Sometime in 1991, with our GCSE's looming, I'd been kicked out of class for extreme insolence. Witchall had asked me a random question, I gave some vague, wrong answer to which she replied:

'Are you pulling my leg?'

'No,' I answered back, 'I'm pulling your tree-trunk!'

Classic gag aside, I was let back into the class after 30mins of moping around outside. That week's movie had already started. The rest of the class was sleeping through 'Jean de Florettes' (the one that plays the old Stella Artois tune throughout). I found my seat and doodled my way through the remainder of the lesson.

The next week, Miss Witchall was proud to reveal that we would be subjected to the 'bigger and better' sequel of last week's film - the 'marvellous, rave-reviewed Manon des Sources', which she was obviously desperate to see. Great. Another 2hrs of inbred, backward froggies arguing over a piece of land.

The blinds were closed. The film started. Class 4b assumed the position. Heads on desks. Jumpers for pillows. Double-French.

Then it happened. At the same time, each and every member of that classroom had what can only be described as a celestial moment. A moment of collective awakening and understanding. A moment of un-embarrassed, simultaneous lust, as appearing from the interminably dull French countryside, wearing nothing but a harmonica and closely flanked by a wandering deer, was the vision of beauty, sex and dreams that is Emmanuelle Beart.

Those of us that are in touch still talk about that moment. For many of us it remains the only orgasm we've ever achieved without the necessity of touch. In the days before porn on tap, the sheer unexpectedness of her appearance on that mind-numbingly dull Thursday afternoon combined with the utter perfection of Beart's nymph-like exquisite body, caused our 15yr old bodies to react en masse. Brains spoke to groins, hormones exploded and semen was quietly spilt.

We also discovered something else. As our initial rapture descended into muffled giggles, we sheepishly glanced over to Miss Witchall expecting a bollocking, only to find her staring steadfastly at the screen, one hand moving very subtly beneath her skirt.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:01, 12 replies)

Dusky maiden.
I doubt anyone else will remember this.

Back in the seventies there was an advert for a particular cigar which had a rather fetching dusky maiden sitting on some rocks by the sea. It looked very Caribbean so was probably Torquay or Marbella. Anyhow, there was a rather sultry voiceover (which according to legend is that fat bird from Bergerac) and she rolled a cigar on her thigh (or at least in my memory she did). That was a one for the wank bank.

Note: I have just spent an hour trying to find that damn advert and the nearest I got was Caroline Monro in a bikini.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:50, 2 replies)

I expect I'll have a few of these this week
and this one's probably more of a pre-teen crush, but anyhoo: Katy Manning, who played Jo Grant in the Jon Pertwee-era Dr Who.

Now these were originally broadcast long before I was born, but the BBC had the foresight to release them on VHS. And, watching my VHS copy of Day of the Daleks, I seem to remember being too young to fully understand the plot, and too young to really understand why I seemed to be so fond of the Doctor's petite, blonde, female companion.

I found that tape, with a few others, back at my folks' house recently and re-watched it. In hindsight, her acting's pretty terrible, but her skirt is very, very short, and I'm fairly sure there's at least one shot where you can see her knickers. (At least, I'm sure it's not just me fantasising that they were red...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:36, 3 replies)

remember Magpie?
The poor man's Blue Peter.

Susan Stranks horsey looking face was an early favourite of mine and then Jenny Hanlay took over and wow!! farm4.static.flickr.com/3104/3239135695_d1123da464.jpg
(essexfriend, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Neighbours
As previously mentioned I had a huge crush on my goddess like neighbour, but... I also fancied her Mum! She had something of an ugly face but her rack was even bigger and better than that of her magnificent daughters (hence why I paid the face little attention). Oh yes, by my early teens I was already dreaming of a Mother-Daughter threesome!

Then there was the TV Neighbours... Natalie Imbruglia and Kimberley Davies... wow! Switch over the TV after Neighbours and on came Buck Rogers, or as I saw it - Erin Gray in many many figure hugging outfits.
(Bad_Dogg, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:13, Reply)

I have a massive crush
on any girl that will come near me be it teenager or not
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:10, Reply)

My current, more adult crushes generally revolve around:
Sarah Chalke (Elliot from Scrubs), ............in baby oil

Though about 10 years ago I had a thing for Carolin Quentin :S
( Bamboo Steamer, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 10:02, 5 replies)

Cybill Shepherd, god dammit!
I don't particularly care that it's 2009, not 1986, and she looks like she's been through the washing machine four or five times by now. I CAN'T GET THIS WOMAN OUT OF MY HEAD.



I would gladly join the Libyan Nationalist Movement just for a crack at shooting Doc Brown myself so I could take over the DeLorean and go back to when Moonlighting was being filmed just so I could head over to the set and oh jesus christ fappity fappity fappity fappity fappity fappity fappity.
(The 2-Belo OH SHI--[Sound of impact][End of recording], Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:53, 2 replies)

QOTW dreams
After reading a few entries on my phone before going to bed last night

I was treated to a wonderful night of erotic dreams featuring Sally James, Peri from Dr Who & one I forgot in my 1st post

Felicity Kendal.

Felicity, Felicity you fill me with electricity

I'm bloody knackered now though ;p
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:51, 1 reply)

Madonna
All the lace and leather and singing about being a virgin or not and stuff. Like a red rag* to a teenage boy.

Plus if you were of a certain age and you claim not to have taped that "Papa Don't Preach" video and go through it frame by frame to get a look at her nipple when it popped out, I call 'bull'.

* or box of Kleenex
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:44, 1 reply)

The Mask
Cameron Diaz.

That dress.

That is all.
(anvil, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:29, 4 replies)

Surprised her name hasnt cropped up yet
Wendy James,

Filthy little minx turned my brain to mush when on (I think it was Going Live) was asked what she wore under her rather small skirts and she replied "Nothing"... Good grief
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 9:07, 8 replies)

On topic
She-Ra, Arcee and Felicity Kendal. In that order.

*edit* just clocked it says teen crushes. The above are childhood crushes. I'm not a weirdo, honest.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 8:43, Reply)

Way off topic
I read in the paper this morning that Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis do an extreme lesbian sex scene in their new movie.

Best. News. Evarrrrr.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 8:32, 3 replies)

all of these
Flicity Kendall, Kate Bush, Suzy Quatro, Toyah Wilcox, The Girl from Timeslip, Cheryl Baker, Lycette Anthony, Janet Ellis, Jennifer Anniston and of course Sarah Green. I told my wife if she ever left me, all of them would have to fight each other for me whilst covered in baby oil.
She says it's just a fantasy, but I know they would.
(Captain Spacker I lick windows, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 7:32, 1 reply)

Lush singer...
Miki Berenyi. Man, she was hot. Off the boil a bit in her 40s, but the hair remains. Emma Anderson is pretty damn gorgeous as well.
(foxy01, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 4:47, 6 replies)

Belinda Carlisle
In fact there are probably some very worn and tattered pages from Smash Hits, stuck together, under the carpet in my old bedroom. Note to self: hide the evidence next time I'm home. I know it was about 20 years ago, but having your stash of wank material found by parents is bad, no matter what age.
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 4:35, Reply)

I think I know
James Cameron's crush.




(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 4:15, Reply)

Edith Bliss
A reporter on WonderWorld in the 80s, later released an album (which I still own)... I just checked and there's only one bad shot of her on the googles, but take my word for it FWOAAAARRR!
( difficultchild, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 4:09, Reply)

Without dating myself...
...which would need carbon testing these days...

The tender year :-
Tiger from the Double Deckers
Debbie at school (I used to sing the Boomtown Rats 'There's someone looking atcha' when in earshot, assuming I could draw breath when exposed to her fragrant loveliness)
Debbie Harry and Kate Bush. Separately or together
Those covers from the 70s Top of the Pops LPs
Purdy (long hair version - 2nd series of the New Avengers)
Felicity Kendall
Janet Ellis

The teenage years (If you've heard of these, then...) :-
Andrea Clarke. Nnnhhgg!
Karen Mifflin
Jane Warner
Oh, and Plain Jane Super Brain of Neighbours. And Daphne. And Angel from Home and Away. And Bronwyn. And the Alessi Twins. And Kimberley Davis.

The one the wife teases me about :-
Denise Van Outen ("special" folder discovered on PC)

The "now I'm a father and have to watch Cbeebies" :-
Sarah-Jane. Lovely, lovely bouncy, bendy Sarah-Jane...

Now :-
Anything above 75°F
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 3:27, 8 replies)

From when I was about 9 until now.
So it went through my teens, so still counts.


Erin Grey (or is it Gray) from Buck Rogers, she always wore body hugging outfits, or her 'uniform'. Both of which were fantastic.
I've been to scared to see what she looks like now. But damn she was worth it then.

Either her or the bird that I can't remember her name that played KITTs mechanic on Knight Rider. Not Bonnie, but the other one that was secretly a nymphomaniacal minx that would do everything.
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 2:02, 4 replies)

Fun House
The twins, Melanie & Martina. They. Where. Phenomenal! I'd love to know if they ever double teamed Pat Sharpe...
(Dr Fishfinger Want's to see a fat man give a tit wank, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 1:51, 1 reply)

A teenager who had a crush on me
Used to call me and read David Eddings over the phone for hours at a time.

I'm still not really sure why he thought that would turn me on....







Although the present MrKitty had a big crush on Ce'Nedra whe he was 13.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 1:16, 1 reply)