Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce to you a revelation that will change your life
Technically this isn't a conspiracy theory. As I know its true. So its fact. The antichrist, as depicted and predicted in the bible is in fact among us. But not as an individual...no no no... it is far more devious... it is in fact a company, a company whose evil is only exceeded by its power…I am of course talking about…Apple!

Now, whilst many of you no doubt already harboured fears that this is the case, there will be some sceptics among you who are not convinced by my (in)sane accusations. Therefore I present to you the evidence that allowed me to reach the unavoidable conclusion that this is the case:

1. In the Garden of Eden, the reason for original sin (as depicted in the bible) was because Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the forbidden tree of knowledge. What was the fruit from that tree? That’s right, an Apple. Coincidence?

2. One of the main product lines of Apple is the ipod touch, the iphone, the ipod shuffle, all I,I,I An element of Satanism is that you should look after yourself and fuel your excesses- also all I,I,I. Seem a bit too similar don’t they? Coincidence?

3. Continuing on the I theme, a rather famous logo is often associated with evil. That logo is the All Seeing Eye, pronounced the All Seeing I! Coincidence?

4. Apple spelt backwards is Elppa. Elppa is a Texan legal firm. It is obvious that Texan legal firms are probably evil. Coincidence?

5. Apple is an anagram of satan. Coincidence?

6. Apple begins with the letter ‘A’. A rather famous, evil internment camp called ‘Auschwitz’ also begins with ‘A’. Coincidence?

7. Typing in Apple UK into google gives 666,666,666 hits. Coincidence?

8. Apple contains no letters in common with the words ‘good’, ‘god’ or ‘fun’. However it does share letters with ‘bad’, ‘evil’ and ‘total global domination’. Coincidence?

So there my friends, now you know. Now you know the great evil that is sweeping the globe, but I fear it is too late. Even now as I sit here, in my lead lined basement, furiously writing by candlelight, I know they are coming for me, I am just waiting to hear the fateful knock on the door. I can’t hide forever, I am no fool, but if just one person heeds my warning and is prepared for the future then I am happy. So long my friends, and good luck!

this ramble was sponsored by B. Gates
(xerophytic has no idea, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 15:21, 11 replies)

You forgot to add...
Apple is named after the Beatles' Apple Corp publishing company. The Beatles wrote "Helter Skelter". Helter Skelter was what Charles Manson called his religion thingy. Therefore Charles Manson is CEO of Apple.

Possibly.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 15:41, closed)

Dammit!
Its worse than I feared...
(xerophytic has no idea, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 15:42, closed)

9) Troll bait
They can't write a decent computer OS for shit.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 15:50, closed)

your crown of foil awaits
does this mean bill gates is the messiah
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 18:57, closed)

10.
Apple's user-interface design paradigm is based on the one-button philosophy. I WANNA PRESS LOTS OF BUTTONS ON MY MOUSE DAMMIT!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 20:15, closed)

It has been a few years since Apple sold one-button mice
and the OS has supported two-button mice for much longer.
( Mystery_Bob, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 20:50, closed)

But iPhones still only have one physical button, with blank space on either side of the button.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 22:08, closed)

It wasn't an apple in Eden, just a fruit.
'Apple' was translated in later. Personally I'd like to think the apple was a lemon, or a grapefruit, or a grape.
( SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 20:54, closed)

I think it was a tomato
and Adam and Eve were confused as to whether it was a fruit or a vegetable.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:50, closed)

Tomatoes originate in central America.
So it can't have been; unless the Mormons have it right.

I like to think that it was a pomegranate.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 23:33, closed)

But apples are wholesome and good!

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 23:32, closed)