Are you one of those silly "Alpha Male" types that feels a need to "out-Alpha" others and constantly prove your status?
Prevent having to see people openly laughing in your face about what a prick you are by getting drunk on your own.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Dogs
Make ideal idols of pseudo-religious symbolism for dyslexics.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 0:20, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Old ladies make ideal companions for other old ladies.
Except that Maude Kerbishly, obviously - eh! The state of her net curtains! You'd think she'd never heard of a mangle! And she were never short of nylons during the war, neither, if you know what I mean.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 16:42, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Old ladies
If you are ever tempted to swallow a fly, make sure you're feeling quite peckish. Reasons are at your own discretion.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 16:36, Reply)

The grey wolf (Canis lupus) after being selectively bred for thousands of years makes an excellent companion for humans.

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 16:34, Reply)

People in charge of marketing at Morrisons
Is the offer "2 for 1 on Valentine's Day card" really that well thought out and not a big error of judgement, a bit like an undertaker selling "buy a coffin and get a child-size coffin free"

Well maybe not like that at all, but you get the idea.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 14:50, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Old ladies
If you are ever tempted to swallow a fly - don't.
(DrMarvello making rabbits appear out of hats since, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 22:04, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

An Iguana makes an ideal dog for Godzilla.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 17:36, Reply)

AV is totally resposible for corrupting my mind.
Potties make ideal "snacks" for toilets which make ideal "chihuahuas" to carry around in baths which make ideal "handbags" for swimming pools.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:41, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Toilets make ideal dogs for baths.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Mini Cheddars make ideal "smelly cats" for Digestives.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Elephants would
make ideal "dogs" for the sauropods of Jurassic Park, if it was real.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 0:21, Reply)

Pour cement into a bucket and stick a broom handle in the middle.
When turned upside-down it makes an ideal - if somewhat cumbersome - "umbrella" for very thin things about a foot smaller than a broom handle.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Avoid leaving your nipples in 'no parking zones' to prevent them getting clamped.

( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

A 'pushmepullyou' ferret makes a perfect set of kinky nipple clamps.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Monkeys with aqualungs, armed with knives strapped to their hands and feet, make ideal adversaries for sharks.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Dogs make ideal dogs for humans

( Peej, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 18:54, Reply)

Elephants with an aqualung make ideal dogs for blue whales
Elephants are bitches that should go back to where they came from. Fucking Pachys!
( Peej, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 18:52, Reply)

Fleas make ideal dogs for Mice that
make ideal dogs for cats that make ideal dogs for dogs that make ideal dogs for horses that make ideal dogs for elephants.

Elephants ain't nobodies dog. Bitch.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Cars make ideal "dogs" for lorries.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Reversing?
When you're reversing in your automobile - LOOK WHERE YOU'RE BLOODY GOING!

And when you hit a car, don't blame the owner for parking stupidly. Especially when it's a big white car. And it's mine. And the person that reversed in to it is my OH. And I'm sat next to her when she did it. And then get cross when I care more for my car than hers.

**sigh**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 15:29, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Ancient Egyptians make ideal dogs for gods.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 10:08, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Dogs make ideal Gods for Ancient Egyptians








I am so sorry
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Gods make ideal "dogs" for dyslexics.

( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 0:18, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Thread worms make ideal "dogs" for maggots.

( Peej, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 20:08, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Maggots make ideal "dogs" for worms.

(Xstopher, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Make sure you don't panic people with rising crime statistics
By making sure that your website launched specifically to give them crashes completely under the usage.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 11:14, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Worms make ideal "dogs" for eels.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 1 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Northern Girls make ideal "dogs" for Men

( Peej, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 19:26, Reply)

small rock like satellites make ideal "dogs" for planets

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 31 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)