Krull makes an excellent argument when someone else tries to defend sword 'n' sorcery fantasy films.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 18:25, Reply)

Ensure everyone in an enclosed area enjoys the smell of your farts by ejecting your bowel gas into a desk fan, thus ensuring even, and fair, distribution.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 14:27, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Fish make
excellent small whales for krill.
(username failed moderation, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Spermatozoa make excellent "krill" for fat women.

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 20:29, Reply)

Social malcontents and rebellious youth- want to Stick It To The Man?
A good quality cyanoacrylate adhesive or a staple gun should be sufficient.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 25 Jul 2013, 13:47, Reply)

Whales make ideal "krill" for midges.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Krill makes ideal "krill" for whales.
Whale makes a tasty topping for sandwiches.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 24 Jul 2013, 19:42, Reply)

Bacteria makes ideal "krill" for midge-sized whales.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 24 Jul 2013, 7:55, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Lisa Riley,
put into am industrial mincer, makes ideal normal sized krill for normal sized whales.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Wed 24 Jul 2013, 2:44, Reply)

Gargantuan alien land whales....
...make ideal "krill" for Lisa Riley.
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 22:44, Reply)

Find out what the weather is all day long,
by logging onto facebook.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 16:36, Reply)

Elephants make ideal "krill" for gargantuan alien land whales.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 23 Jul 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Midges make ideal "krill" for aerial whales.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 22 Jul 2013, 16:30, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Affix chicken wire
over a shopping trolley to make an ideal 'mobile home' for a parrot...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Sat 20 Jul 2013, 5:43, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Pucker up and kiss some babies.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Jul 2013, 14:42, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Soggy Cornettos make ideal arctic rolls for the Jeremy Beadle in your life.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Jul 2013, 19:08, Reply)

Keep cool this summer by doing a handstand and pissing all over yourself

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 18 Jul 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Impress other road users
by driving an Audi right up to 6 inches away from their back bumper- at 85 mph!
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 18 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Make yourself believable by not wearing purple clogs.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Jul 2013, 12:39, Reply)

Channel 4 news presenters!
Save valuable time when cycling to work by jumping red lights, regardless of women crossing.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:55, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Bus passengers in the Quadrant Bus Station, Swansea
Stop pushing in front of me you fucking cunts, The bus ain't going anywhere yet. Idiots
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 17:42, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Rob fingers, kids
and thumbs too for I am the Fagin of the digits.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 12:21, Reply)

Avoid spending shitloads on "microfiber cleaning cloths"
by using newspaper to clean your smart device's screen. It works, and also makes your copy of The Metro useful for something other than flogging local carpets
( krang, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 23:25, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Avoid getting cancer by not doing anything ever.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 15:50, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Artists,
short of vegetables to draw a quick still life? A dildo, painted green, makes a semi realistic cucumber.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Overweight women,
Take the attention away from your fat arse, muffin top and gelatinous belly, by having a ridiculous hair style.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 9:07, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Stay hydrated by drinking water.

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Fri 12 Jul 2013, 1:23, Reply)

Atomic cocks!
Give people cancer with your radioactive jizz
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 22:52, Reply)

Atomic clocks!
Be quite accurate!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:38, 10 replies, latest was 12 years ago)