Teenage boys.
OK, it's an easy target. Everyone knows that teenage boys are twats for at least most of the time. Those of us who have been teenage boys know this more acutely than we'd like to admit.

But there's one thing in particular about teenage boys that's remarkably twattish, and seems to be comparatively recent.

Hands in the trousers.

There are times when you find yourself with nothing to carry, and your arms hanging listlessly by your side like... oh, like asparagus on the reduced-to-clear rack; and this is one of the reasons why pockets are great things. They give you somewhere to put your hands when you've nothing in them.

So why in the name of Jesus Radioactive Christ and all his glow-in-the-dark disciples does it strike a significant portion of the acned youth of this isle that the best thing to do with their hands would be to thrust them down the front of their trousers? It's bad enough that the jeans-wearing demographic thinks it acceptable to have a waistline sagging somewhere south of their buttocks; but the trackies-wearing demographic has decided that there's just too much dignity in that. So it's down the front of the trousers the hands go.

In public.

In shops.

They presumably do things like shake hands, and inspect goods for sale (even if it's only so they know what they're about to steal) - which means that they do so with hands that have recently been far too close to comfort to their doubtless repulsive genitalia. And, let's face it: the trackies demographic is not the demographic most likely to bother the shower gel.

If it's true that there's only six degrees of separation between any two people anywhere on the planet, this suggests that there can be only one or two degrees of separation between anything that anyone does, and the ballsack of one of nature's spottier specimens.

Just think about it. Look at the things in your fruitbowl, or the change in your pocket. Would you want to fill your house with items recovered from the vicinity of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant? Unlikely. And yet we cannot help but to fill our dwellings with items that may well be much more heavily contaminated, even if only indirectly, with grot from the groin of a sunken-eyed 17-year-old. (Although, come to think of it, fruit might be one of the few things that doesn't really get their attention.)

Think about it, and try not to shudder.

They are, I fear, irredeemable in their twattishness.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 21:16, 28 replies)

im not the only one
that noticed this then. dirty little bastards
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 22:03, closed)

I'd rather have the things from Fukushima
At least they're probably sterile. *Shudders*
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 22:04, closed)

And, let's face it: the trackies demographic is not the demographic most likely to bother the shower gel.
I think you're wrong - their dick & balls are probably fairly well appointed (anointed?) with shower gel!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 22:19, closed)

You've sucked off enough of them to know

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 8:27, closed)

That's it?
That's the best you've got?

That sound is the Minor Leagues calling you back.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 9:12, closed)

Dunno man, paying estate kids from Gorton a fiver to suck them off is pretty low

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:05, closed)

Ah, Gorton.
I would say I miss living there... but I don't.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:23, closed)

Am begining to see
why many /talkers have such a low esteem of you.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:22, closed)

It's Mr QOTW SelfImportance, you fucking penis nobody is held in any esteem on /talk

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:31, closed)

Least of all
you.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 21:59, closed)

I suspect they use it as a fly-by-wire guidance system - where it points, they follow.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 22:21, closed)

Twats of the highest order for so many reasons, including the one you have outlined. I swear they dont start to come right until their mid 20s.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 22:42, closed)

I believe I've found a surefire way to get these sodcasting noisy twats to leave my vicinity
Just wait until one of them makes eye contact with you, flick your gaze down and then back up and say, slightly breathily "Oooh, nice pants"! Licking your lips suggestively could also be useful.
I did this only yesterday - ended up with an entire table all to myself in a busy fast food joint.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 17 Apr 2012, 22:54, closed)

I'd be too scared of getting my head kicked in to try that.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 9:26, closed)

As a teenager I knew I was a dirty, spotty, sweaty, waste of space.
So I kept my distance from everyone.
Adults and teenagers aren't supposed to mix and it's only lur strange society which means that they do.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 0:22, closed)

Interviewer: Are you a Mod or a Rocker?
John Lennon: I'm neither; I'm a Mocker.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 3:45, closed)

It was Ringo that said that...

/fat pedant
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 8:54, closed)

This is brilliant...

The post, not the subject. The subject makes me want to live in a sterilised bubble and scrub myself raw with brillo pads, starting with my tongue. Euw.

*shudderclicks*

Edit: "in the name of Jesus Radioactive Christ" was worthy of a click of it's own.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 8:54, closed)

:)

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 9:29, closed)

"Jesus Radioactive Christ and all his glow-in-the-dark disciples"
Magnificent. If I were a nicer person, I might even buy you a pint for that phrase alone.

But I won't.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 9:56, closed)

^
it is a fine blaspheme
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:03, closed)

^^ Indeed ^^
Quality line as outlined by the above
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:13, closed)

I lived with an American who did this
And continued to do so, even after the conversation that began with him saying "So my girlfriend gave me genital warts..."

And then he'd play my guitar, the dirty fucker, and wonder why I freaked out.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:03, closed)

Ewwww.
I feel violated from even having read that.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:24, closed)

I'd probably burn the guitar...
Even if it were a Gibby.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:35, closed)

You can clean things you know
your pants must be a wonderment
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:49, closed)

this moral decline can be traced back
to the cost cutting measures instigated to save cloth in the second world war. the actual waist of a pair of trousers dropped to where they are now, instituting a style crisis.

properly waisted trousers (with a high waist - see cary grant in north by northwest for a good example of fitted suit trousers) fit better and flatter the figure while making suits fit more elegantly.

and also make it a damn site harder for little scrotes to feel thier balls while walking down putney effing high street.
(magictorch, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 10:54, closed)

Kids these days like to think they're hard by pretending they're in prison, hence the shoes without laces and trousers without belts.
Oh, and the daily participation in anal rape.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:01, closed)

just spat my tea out
Top comment sir
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:27, closed)

He said: "It's ok, you can't catch them that way."
Like I'm going to take his word for it - he the one who managed to catch them in the first fucking place
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 11:32, closed)

I find...
...There's nothing wrong with a good rummage :D
(Pennisons Revenge All this trouble over squealing meat, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 16:59, closed)

Too fecking right.
If they want to feel their groin all day they should cut holes in their pockets like the rest of us.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 20:41, closed)