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This is a question Weddings Part II

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
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one idyllic sunny saturday when we were about 15 and had been consuming forbidden cider in the fields
we staggered into the village because someone needed a piss. (jo always always needed a piss.) we cut through the graveyard of the beautiful local church, where a bride and her bridesmaids were just about to go in.

"DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" my friend nick yelled at the top of his voice.

she looked as if he'd smashed a kitten's face in.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 11:31, 23 replies)
you and your mates are crraaazzzzyyy!!!!!
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 11:51, closed)
^ has no mates ^

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:29, closed)
Fucking townies!
The countryside is designed for pissing wherever you like. And you lot couldn't manage without a commode?
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:22, closed)
girls can't!

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:29, closed)
Some girls can.
I've witnessed it
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:35, closed)

I've paid for it.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 15:11, closed)
Dude, I know girls who'll do it for free
Shout and i'll hook you up
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 15:34, closed)

GAZ'ed you m8
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 23:37, closed)
Precisely it.
Country girls can and do but not necessarily in graveyards with a wedding going on.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:38, closed)
i can't
it gives me teh fear and everything freezes up.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:51, closed)
Because your mate was effectively smashing in the face of the Kitten of Her Lost Youth, with his exuberant abandon and impulsiveness, very much in contrast to the intense organisation and commitment required for a Wedding.

Either that or because no-one likes a belligerent, drunken teenager.

Or a pretentious adult.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 12:58, closed)
From almost all of your QOTW stories, one thing becomes glaringly apparent.
All of your friends are arseholes.

HTH xxx
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 14:21, closed)
i'd be upset if you thought they sounded like people you want to know
curmudgeonly alcoholic old scotsmen are not cool or fun
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 14:23, closed)
Well let me see now...
curmudgeonly - I do my best
alcoholic - not in the slightest and I have no idea where you've picked this up from
old - not remotely love
scotsmen - we've done this before. I was born in the same county as you, so yeah, well done on all of this.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 15:23, closed)
So, a wanabee curmudgeon,
a boring sobernaut. a disrespectful youth and a southern softie.

On balance I think I'd prefer to be what she said.

I scored 3 out of 4 anyway.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 16:52, closed)
i forgot fucking ugly

(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 17:01, closed)
the Dwarf that didn't make the cut?
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 19:51, closed)
I see.
Either you're making stuff up, or showing Shambo/Fartbelm levels of online stalking.

So what is it? Take your time now.
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 10:20, closed)
alright uggo, simmer down
maybe try some surgery? or getting everyone around you really really drunk?
(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 14:36, closed)
I'm not the one constantly pleading to be considered anything but ginger.

(, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 15:14, closed)
Saw you get evicted off The Apprentice tonight.
(, Wed 5 Nov 2014, 23:02, closed)

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