FLYING
Does anyone have a flying habits to overcome occasional nerves (I can't be the only one) ?

1. Always go for a window seat
2. Be one of the first to board
3. HAVE to watch the entire takeoff through the window (this need ends once the seatbelt sign is off) and double check that the flaps are down (See Spanair flight 5022 on Wikipedia for further info)
4. Listen to every Captain's announcement
5. Hold onto the seatbelt buckle through turbulence (and revisit rule 3)
6. Watch the entire landing through the window (from seatbelt sign to wheels touching down)

Seems perfectly reasonable when flying but rather silly when I list it here

I might add that in 20+ years of regular flying, only once did I NOT follow rule 3 because I was engrossed in a book ('The Sum Of All Our Fears' by Tom Clancy if you must know) and we had an abandoned take off complete with smoking engine

So there
(sabre32, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 14:40, 21 replies)

Yes, however
1. Always go for an aisle seat, so I don't have to climb over 2 people to get out
2. Always count the number of rows to the nearest emergency exit, both in front and behind me
3. Always take my shoes off in case of a quick getaway
4. Always mentally go through the V1, V2, rotate commands that the pilot will be doing as we travel down the runway.
5. Never fly Ryan Air. Mainly as it's shit.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 14:48, closed)

Yes, you reminded me of

- Leave shoes ON, in case of having a quick getaway (and having to run through splintering metal and glass)
- Check nearest exit
- Watch stewardesses for signs of nervousness during turbulence
(sabre32, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 14:51, closed)

Am with you on the latter point
If they're not getting up and giving me tiny cans of diet coke within 10 minutes of take off, I start to panic.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 14:54, closed)

^This^ too
I once was calmly reading a book as we landed (Ryan Air) and the plane hit the ground so hard I actually dropped my book, swore loudly and had to endure tutting and 'mother's look of disapproval' from other passengers.

So I don't read during takeoff and landing now either.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 16:07, closed)

Pleb.
1) sit in the massive self-contained super recliner
2) get blasted on free champagne
3) fuck the pope
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 16:00, closed)

Travelling would entail leaving the computer and house
for longer than it takes you to F5 every few minutes to see if someone's answered one of your posts.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 19:58, closed)

Well at least you're not still desperately following me round begging for attention.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 8:44, closed)

Pick me FatCat, pick me...
12 hr. turnaround Shambles. The time difference is working to your favour I see. Let's see if we can't narrow that time frame down to your usual, eh?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 21 Dec 2011, 9:11, closed)

Don't hold the seatbelt buckle.
Having your hands on it make it more likely you'll release it by mistake, and when the plane crashes burning into the ground, you'll be the only fatality. I guarantee it.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 17:14, closed)

These are the kind of guarantees that make my day.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 18:40, closed)

Thank you. I will doubtless be thinking of that on my next flight :-)

(sabre32, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 9:09, closed)

only one
I remain in the seat until the belt lights are off and all the impatient twats have fought their way off the plane allowing me to simply grab my bag and saunter off.

based on how few people do this, it must be considered strange.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 19:18, closed)

Yeah, and then
enjoy the extra 2 hours you have to wait in a fucking massive immigration queue.
(username failed moderation, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 10:12, closed)

Me too!
One of the first on board, always get a window seat and watch the entire take off and landing, check the flaps are down. Every time.

But then I am a pilot.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 20:53, closed)

Nice one :-)

(sabre32, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 9:07, closed)

'The Sum Of All Fears'. No 'Our'.

(technocore, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 4:55, closed)

Yes.... More addicted to Le Carre these days

(sabre32, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 9:07, closed)

Never go for a window seat. If I need to see what's out the window (e.g. Greenland, which if you fly over it in daylight if fLIcking amazing), go to one of the emergency exit doobries over the wing and peer out.

I make a game of trying to be the last to board. I'm not one of those morons who sits in the bar getting wasted and holding the plane up, and I'm at the gate with boarding pass and passport in good time... I just like that the herd are standing up queueing while I'm sitting there, comfy and listening to my pod or reading my book. And when they've all finished standing in the queue, I give it a minute or two, then saunter up to the desk, get waved through, and bimble onto the plane, where by now everyone is seated (or almost everyone), so I can simply wander to my seat and sit down. I haven't held the plane up or inconvenienced anyone, and I haven't had to queue. I don't really understand why everyone doesn't do this, but I guess if they did it would turn boarding into a massive game of chicken and it would take three hours to fill the plane.

I have got to the point where I actually give myself points for the number of people who get on the plane after me, fewest points = best flight score. You should always score single digits, but an actual zero is harder than you think. (Staff don't count, although on one flight I was actually the very very last human through the door.)

This game is made much more fun to play if you're with (and ideally in charge of) a group of people who don't understand the concept and seem to think that if they don't board as soon as physically possible the plane will leave without them.

It also obviously works best on civilised, allocated seat style airlines, although if you don't care where you sit it work on Easyjet too - although usually on there you find that window seats AND aisle seats are taken, and what's left is the worst-of-both-worlds middle seat.

[Edit: should add that I'm all nonchalant and laid back when I'm at the gate waiting to board, but I'm a nightmare paranoid for-god's-sake-hurry-up style nightmare to be around until the bags are checked and we're through security. Until I can actually get to the gate any time I like, just don't talk to me, OK?]
(SonofRojBlake, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 10:50, closed)

Stick on a sling, use a crutch, act pained, 70% chance of upgrade to first class.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 11:12, closed)

I hate flying on civvie airliners
because they won't let you do your own "pre-flight" inspection, whereas the test pilots I usually fly with are quite happy if you do your own pre-flight while they do theirs. I feel safer after having a good look at what I'm flying in.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:48, closed)

I always have an aisle seat.
Partly for the disembarkation reason, partly for the ability to stick my leg into the aisle so I can slump in my seat and partly because I have a weak bladder so always need to piss at some point (I can usually time it so that I go just before the seatbelt light goes on for landing).
I also leave my seatbelt on until the light goes off -- simply because I know my bags will take forever to come off anyhow, if they ever turn up, so there's no point rushing to the baggage collect.
I've been on a couple of dozen or so flights in the past couple of years and only been on one plane with a fault (air-con and pressurisation problem) -- which I realised before the announcement was made because my ears popped so I checked the air pressure on my watch and found it to be unusually low.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:23, closed)