near death experience
my friend emily's parents live in the middle of nowhere in cheshire. it's a tiny hamlet called lyme handley, [inbred] population = 83.

i passed my driving test just after easter when i was 17. and decided to drive over and see emily. i was hooning it around the little country lanes in my shiny red beetle [if only i'd known about all the people being punch buggied as a result]. finally, on the corner right by her house, i had hit nearly 50mph in what should clearly have been a 20mph zone. i was totally on the wrong side of the road.

when to my horror i realised it was a blind corner. and, even worse, there was another car hurtling round it - thank god also going faaaar too fast and on the wrong side of the road. we both finished up on the verge, sweating and panicking. and who was driving it?

emily.

we had missed a head on collision only by virtue of both of us being too inexperienced and stupid.

so now it's tradition whenever i drive there with her to say: "careful around this corner" and "i know, plenty of dickheads in blue renaults/red beetles around here"...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 11:33, Reply)

Don't hit the driver
Myself and an old friend would hurt each other seriously whilst in cars. If I was driving, I would lash out at either arm or leg with fist and then immediately claim "don't hit the driver", and vice versa.

This went on for years (still does), but once, he hit me five or six times in the same spot on the leg during a fifteen minute car journey. I had to retaliate and got him with a perfectly placed dead arm on the front of his left shoulder, causing him to be unable to change gears and had to pull the car over....beautiful!
(essbeenz there done that, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 11:28, Reply)

Wascally Weasle
"Done with main engine"

Genius! I'm going to use that next time I have sex (with someone other than myself)

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 11:13, Reply)

Two shots
Since going on holiday with my mate, we got addicted to playing pool. When we were just hanging around, we started watching this small boy play pool (he was about, 5) and when ever he got two shots, he'd yell "TWO SHOTS ^_^!" and put up two fingers, in the manner of a peace sign.
Ever since then, when playing pool, it's tradition for one of us to yell "TWO SHOTS! ^_^" and do the peace sign.
Sad, I know.

No apologies for length or girth, you know you love it.
( Pyratus, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 11:12, Reply)

Sir Jester:
My sister used to do that to me - annoying as fuck - until I spotted a beetle and in my excitement punched her extremely hard. Repeatedly. I hope that some day I get to sit in a car with you so I can enjoy more of this wonderful game. And kick your heed in.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 11:07, Reply)

You can't get much more traditional than church
I was baptised in a very traditional church (at the age of 23). The baptism service was very high church - all candles and chanting - and it was at Easter so there were tons of people there and they'd decorated the church with flowers and stuff. Thousands of years of tradition for my very special ceremony.

Unfortunately, my sister spoiled it somewhat when she accidentally dropped her hymn book and shouted 'fuck' during the service.
(Pachey, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 10:54, Reply)

Pointless Quotes from British WWII films
I pointlessy quote from films such as 'Way to the Stars' and 'A Matter of Life and Death'

E.g. after a long cycle ride I get off my bike and say "Finished with main engine" like Jack Hawkins at the end of 'The Cruel Sea'.

I would also say "Worth waiting for" after draining a beer in the style of John Mills in 'Ice Cold in Alex'. Sadly, I've never really abstained from beer long enough for this to be an option.

"We're shaping Frank, we're shaping!"
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Wed 3 Aug 2005, 10:48, Reply)

Jazzbloke
I do the same thing with cars approaching me too. Not all the time, but every so often. It annoys me no end if I can't manage it though :(
(sporky, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 10:32, Reply)

That reminds me
"Hu was the Egyptian god of eternity", and "Watt is the standard unit of power". Our tradition was to always profess ignorance and for the other to repeat the "question" over and over. Great days.
(Scoobs, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 9:28, Reply)

ROADKILL..!!
Another car game - when out on country drives down here in Aus we used to play a game that you would shout out ROADKILL! the moment you saw a dead animal beside (or on) the road and claim a point score according to the animal's size..... or portion of it's remians.

Classic scoring would be along the lines of 1 point for a bird, 2 for a cat, 3 for a dog, 4 for a sheep, 5 for an emu 10 for a 'roo, 15 for a horse and 20 for a cow... (Cows and horses are rarely seen dead on the roads, thankfully).

As a bonus, you would double your ponts per animal that YOU hit if you were driving.

(little know fact - Australia is the only country in the world where it is leagal to EAT the animals on it's national emblem. Ours is teh emu and kangaroo)
(Sir Jester, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 7:56, Reply)

Fun and Games whilst driving..
We too are ones for the Volksies. Ours is "Punch Buggy, guess what colour" which allows you to punch whomever is beside you in the car... REPEATEDLY until they can spot and name the colour of the Beetle that you have claimed.
(Sir Jester, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 7:27, Reply)

Fly Hunt
It seems that every new years day, my parents and many other family members participate in the "new year's fly hunt". Apparently, it's supposed to bring good luck if you find a live fly on new years day... said it was brought over from my serbian relatives. I think they just look like a bunch of idiots running around the house looking in every little corner in a desperate search for a fly.
(Random Number, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 5:03, Reply)

SPADIDDLE
Dunno if its been said (probably, but im gonna read back to make sure) so here it goes...

When driving around with friends and you see a car with one headlight on, (the other one has to be off, motorcycles don't count) you have to touch the ceiling of the car and yell SPADIDDLE and the last person in the car to do it has to take off and article of clothing.

Horny teenagers of course...
(Cold Fished looks like Zack Braff, Wed 3 Aug 2005, 4:51, Reply)

traditions, or maybe my family's a bit obsessive-compulsive
See a VW Beetle, punch the person next to you and yell "Slug bug (color)!" Two hits for VW busses, "Double bug (")!"
Hold your breath through a tunnel and make a wish, which is difficult under what seems to be three connected tunnels in downtown Seattle.
Blow up something strange on the 4th of July- such as a rubber chicken or toy army men.
Dressing up nicely every Thursday.
Buy a slurpee (no slushies, no other cheap immitations) before the first swim meet of the summer.
Get sloshed the night before leaving a foreign country.
Buy a Charlie Brown tree for Xmas.
Always yell “Buns of steel!� at cyclists.
Similar to White Rabbit, but it’s “Happy Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Day.�
If you see a license plate with two letters or numbers in a row, you hit someone once. Three in a row, two hits etc., and call out “double (letter/number)�
Yell “Shut up!� at radio commercials before changing the station.
Pinch someone whilst going past a monkey puzzle tree, say “Monkey tree, can’t touch me.�
Pauses in conversations with friends are usually ended swiftly with my reaching for their boobs, regardless of gender.
Roll down window and yell “moo� at cows. “Baa� for sheep, and “LLAMA!� for llamas.
If my mom or I have an object in our hand, and we are confused, we put it on our head.
(Luna loves you., Wed 3 Aug 2005, 0:10, Reply)

Hey Luke...
Every year around July and/or October me and my friends visit a little Welsh cottage for a long weekend break. The cottage is used by many youth groups and is hired out very cheaply (one of the main reasons we go). Therefore the rooms are communial with everyone sleeping together (Oo Er Missus ect.)

Now over the year a tradition has grown up that when we go to cottage we must spend all our time getting each other to say "What?" when were all trying to get to sleep - regardless of how annoying it is. When they say "What?" you promptly respond with "You Smell" and thats that. So the general conversation would go...

"Hey Luke"
"What?"
"You Smell"

Of course this becomes slightly old very quickly, so other methods are put in play...

"Oh i've got to get up early tomorrow to do that thing"
"What?"
"You smell"

"Does anyone know the unit for power?"
"Watt"
"You smell"

(or the best)

"*bang* OUCH!"
"What?"
"You smell"

This often goes on until around 3am when everyone gets fed up and annoyed - I haven't got a clue why we do it, and in all fairness I think it annoys everyone and we all wish it would stop, but we can't - its tradition. :P

And his gravestone read -
( Grinned2Death knows what Willis was talking about, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 23:24, Reply)

Stars!!
When we were young my family used to sit and watch the news for the deaf with fierce excitement. The competition was to be the first to shout 'STARS!!'when the line of stars appeared between the news items. Like so:

***********************************************

The level of competition was scary.

Oh so scary.

Edit: We also have to lift up our feet when we're taking off in an airplane. It makes it easier to take off apparently.
(evil_beetle, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 23:00, Reply)

whenever anyone asks me if i want a cup of tea
i check my watch first for no reason, why? why? why?
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 22:33, Reply)

Embarassing
When I was a wee child, my father would always take me to the supermarket. There was this huge sign in the lot and he would drive in between the posts, exclaiming, "Now we're in Marshland!" like it was a portal or something. EVERY single time. Until someone put up a concrete post in the middle to deter this sort of moronic activity.
(Sudo-Nim, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 22:29, Reply)

St. Patrick's Day
I went to school at New Mexico Tech in Socorro, NM, USA, for a couple of years. Annual St. Patrick's Day festivities featured people getting naked, drenching themselves in green food coloring, rushing out en masse and smacking their wet, green butt cheeks on the cafeteria windows.

One year in the rush, a large acquaintance dislodged a plate glass window and fell through, to general consternation among the student diners and cafeteria employees alike, but fortunately there was no injury.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 22:06, Reply)

Funkie
www.b3ta.com/questions/weirdtraditions/post37024/

You lot from Atherstone are a fucking weird lot. I used to have my MG serviced there, not anymore though couldn't stand the looks I got from the locals, they could tell I was from out of town.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 22:00, Reply)

Double Entendre spotting
Every time my housemate or I hear something that could be considered "a bit rude", we have to say either "Euuuuuooogh" in the manner of Kenneth Williams or "Ooooph!" in the manner of Frankie Howerd:

"It's very long, isn't it?" - "Euuuuogh!"
"Is Carl up?" - "Oooph!"
"How long have you been doing it?" - "Euuuuogh!"

If something doesn't sound rude to start with, the same effect can be gained by rephrasing the sentence to sound rude:

"It's the flag of the United Arab Emirates" - "I wouldn't mind uniting her Arab Emirates!"

"There's a medal on the floor." - "I wouldn't mind having a meddle on the floor with her!"

If neither of the above can be applied, one must resort to the use of "... in the nude!.... Twice!" to lend rudeness to any sentence.

It passes the time.
( giant_squid, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 21:02, Reply)

Buerk Biscuits
A few years back, I worked in a touring theatre company with a nutter called Matthew Davey. During the tour, to help pass the time on those long winter evenings staying in digs light years from the nearest pub, he introduced us to a traditional game he used to play with his flatmate. Each week we would buy a packet of really nice biscuits, which would be known as the Buerk Biscuits. At ten o'clock we would all sit down to watch the news on BBC1, and if - and only if - Michael Buerk opened proceedings by tapping his pen on the desk, we would all be allowed to eat a biscuit.

This may not seem like a big deal, but believe me, after a few weeks of being on tour to to furthest reaches of civilisation, a really nice biscuit can become a seriously big deal. I shall never forget the bitter disappointment of the evenings when the news was read by someone else, the tension in the air the nights Michael B appeared on screen, and the way we whooped and cheered when he tapped that pen.

Thanks Michael.
(Tyrebagger, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 20:43, Reply)

New years day poo.
Every new years day i have a massive bowel cleansing, gut wrenching poo. I think it is my digestive system cleaning its self out for the new year.

That and watching Zulu on boxing day.
(cammy, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 19:20, Reply)

Middle Names
My Great Grandads middle name was Sanderson, and it is tradition in our family to give most of the men the middle name 'Sanderson' and considering he had 8 kids, thats a quite considerable amount of grandsons, plus my cousin and brother also have the middle name Sanderson.
So far the name Sanderson has been passed down to grandchildren and and great grandchildren. And maybe even further? A tradition in the making!
(purplefairy, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 18:59, Reply)

Traditions?
We don't have any traditions, we just do the same things over and over again...

Runs off giggling
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 18:59, Reply)

He's Mr Success, he's higher than high, if he was a girl he would be Princess Di
How bizarre - me and the Mr also have the tradition of watching Bernard & the Genie and Labyrinth every Christmas. And yes, our video is buggered too.

"Turns out it was just a few of the lads having a laugh"

ACE!
(Tricksy, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 18:51, Reply)

Weird tradition
My family always have tea laced with rum as soon as we get up on Christmas Day.

We start early in my house, we do.
(lama, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 18:17, Reply)

Boot polish & toothpaste
Years ago I was in Air Cadets (I got better). Tradition was that your first overnighter with the squadron, you would get your scrotsack liberally scrubbed with toothpaste...it tingles.

Friend of mine was in Army Cadets and they used boot polish as a scrotal coating.


Nothing vaguely homoerotic about the Armed Forces - no, nothing vague about it . . . it's pretty frickin' blatant.
(ring-finger is also a verb, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 18:10, Reply)

Dick
There you go.

*ashamed*
(Mr_Jums, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 17:55, Reply)

Not so much tradition, as OCD!
A 'workmate', I use the term looseley, has a traditional routine, it's as mad as a bag of badgers. It goes as follows:
1. Clock in.
2. Check contents of bin under sink. Remove tin cans and place in correct bin.
3. Check contents of bottom right draw of desk. If more than 3 newspapers, place in bin under sink.
4. Check contents of bin near back door. Remove tin cans and place in correct bin.
5. Rearrange contents of fridge.
6. Moan that something in fridge is out of date.
7. Turn down central heating.
8. Check all lightbulbs are present and correct.
9. Place banana and bag of crisps in pidgeon hole, moan about free newspaper CDs that have been put in pidgeon hole.

That's the abridged version, I left out the repeated checking of car door etc, as noone would believe that anybody can be so anal.
( the wild elk Freeing excellence affects reality, Tue 2 Aug 2005, 17:15, Reply)