I used to
Do this in employers businesses when I left or was leaving, but have now started doing it in the company I work for. I shit in the toilet cistern rather than the bowl for no other reason except it amuses me.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 9:40, 48 replies)

You are mentally ill
and I claim my £5.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:06, closed)

^ this
what the fuck
( rofl harris, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:09, closed)

Right...
I think that's known as "Top-Decking".
And is also a recognised indicator of being a terrible cunt.
( Cawl, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:10, closed)

EH?
I simply cannot figure out the logistics of performing such a feat nor the motivation for doing so.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:12, closed)

Presumably
if the cistern is not too far above the bowl of the toilet, and the lid is easily accessible, one could remove it, and placing one's feet carefully over the top lid of the bowl, squat over the exposed cistern.

As for the motivation...I'm as confused as you are...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:19, closed)

oh!
I was imagining one of those cisterns mounted high on the wall... oops. But still, wtf?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:23, closed)

@Empress.
So was I. *laughs*



Still, what a childish thing to do. Not funny.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:37, closed)

grim revelation
I wonder if he ever left work voluntarily, or got sacked regularly, and then visited the loo on his way out the building.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:47, closed)

I'm guessing the latter
Perhaps sacked for being mental...and a monumental cunt?


This is just a guess, mind...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:58, closed)

But it's an educated guess.
And probably correct.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:03, closed)

I kinda hope
that he wasn't working in B&Q or something. Imagine finding that in the bathroom display section!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:38, closed)

That's exactly why Ikea do things like glue the lids down on their display toilets.
Though if anyone deserves to have a surprise lion bar lurking in their shop, it's Ikea.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:52, closed)

Its a bit worrying
That this sort of thing has occured enough times that stores have to take precautions against members of the public shitting in display toilets!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:02, closed)

wtf? asshat.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:24, closed)

your story is not true
and fuck you . Do you think its the employer that would clean this if it was true
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:36, closed)

I would think so yes
seen as at our business someone "hand delivered" a shit and wrapped it nicely in tissue like a small toilet paper hot dog and carefully left it NEXT to the bin. Dirty fucker.

Made me laugh out loud though.
(Spangulum nailing your mother since 1824, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:48, closed)

Huh
Way to shove more work on people already doing a shit job on minimum wage
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:39, closed)

I
thought this was a boredom in work QOTW, not what twattish things did you do when you left a previous job thread?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:41, closed)

I don't understand...
What happens?

When the next person flushes the toilet does shit come out? Or does it stay in cistern limbo forevermore?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:45, closed)

To be fair
I once filled up a toilet cistern in uni with crystals of potassium permanganate (purple dye crystals) which stained the water and toilet a purpley brown colour for weeks. But poo? Eugh!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:49, closed)

What the fuck is wrong with you?
You Sir, are a cunt.

EDIT:- edited because I may have tarred everyone with a very broad brush.
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 10:54, closed)

people?
Only one person wrote this.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:01, closed)

Good point, sorry about that
:-)
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:12, closed)

What a horrible thing to do
Im sure the cleaner working minimum wage, having to come into the office at some god-awful time of night/morning, really appreciated having to clean this up... I mean, come on! Have some respect!
( SpankyHanky, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:04, closed)

Thank you, robneymcplum...

For I like nothing better than to while away the last moments of a QotW contemplating what a wankish flangestain you must be to think that what you do is funny.

Even making up a post like this is spackish in the extreme...did you think everybody would reply 'ooh Lolz! - what a great bloke!'?

If you made this up, then you're a cunt, if you didn't, then you're a cunt.

Either way...well, you do the maths.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:16, closed)

I think he needs a note leaving in the cistern for the next time he visits, telling him he's a cunt.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:17, closed)

LOL
That's fucking ace!

I'm doing that before I go home tonight.

You lot have no sense of fun...
(ScousersPet, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:24, closed)

Oh my god
It has a friend.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:27, closed)

why not ...
... do it _after_ you get home instead?
(haberman is singing in the changes, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:38, closed)

There's fun, sure
And then there's acting like a cunt. It's possible to do both at once, but it's a fine line, and you see, this is just cunty, because some poor minimum wage bastard has to fish it out of the cistern. If you're gonna get revenge on an employer, make damn sure you're getting at the person who deserves it and not some other poor bastard employee
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:45, closed)

hahah
yeah i I do that, and I like to rape and mutilate small children, its fucking wicked you should try it
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:33, closed)

well
I only like mutilating them really but apparently if you don't rape them as well you will never get into Heaven, thats what my priest told me anyway
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:44, closed)

I think
your priest used to teach at my school! Coincidence eh...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:53, closed)

that's the principle of 2 wrongs making a right, isn't it?
I heard it doesn't work.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:53, closed)

you people
If this tale is true or false it was merely entered on here for amusement, sorry if it doesnt involve Simon Weston or fuck knows what else but jees, get a fucking grip.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:53, closed)

Sounds like you've 'left' quite a few employers.
Quelle surprise.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:55, closed)

damn right
And if you are the minimum wage staff that would and has cleaned up much worse then fuck them, your entitled to do it.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 11:57, closed)

Um.
I don't want to alarm you, but I think you might be an idiot.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:01, closed)

Maybe
But your opinion matters to me why?
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:02, closed)

It probably doesn't
But, you know, I thought you might not know yet. Lovely attitude you have to cleaners and such too :) well done on that!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:04, closed)

You all need to chill out.
And take it in the way it was intended, just a bit of fun. Im aware its not big or clever and cuntish, but it was only posted as a laugh.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:06, closed)

To be honest
I think everyone is chilled out. However the consensus is that it's a cuntish thing to do and only winds up fucking over people worse off. No-ones shouting about it though, not that I can see.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:08, closed)

Fair enough
If you are the minimum wage staff in a shit hole job, you are the person more likely to do this, if it was ever done.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:11, closed)

Press 'ignore'
Tall tales of bullshit which are neither funny nor believable are strong in this one...apparently he had a mild heart attack once and was released from hospital the same day...

Hi robney *waves*
( naked_ravens A big hammer, WD40 & gaffer tape, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:14, closed)

wtf
I do not lie on the internet,
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:17, closed)

Yes
you do.
( Noo_Noo Is now 'BeerElf Jnr', I guess :), Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:21, closed)

Oh
dont you start as well.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:24, closed)

I won't
involve the b3tans as they'll not be interested in your Billy Bullshit stories....
( naked_ravens A big hammer, WD40 & gaffer tape, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 12:29, closed)