Overheard funnies
Went to Swansea this weekend. Standing in a chip-shop on a particularly great estate, I overheard a girl and her boyfriend arguing:

(I'll leave you to mentally insert a thick Swansea townie accent... think Rhys Ifans)

Girl: "You don't loves me, you don't"
Boy: "Fuck off will you?"
Girl: "See, you don't loves me! You can fuck off"
Boy: "Course I loves you, I fucks you and I buys you chips"

Love is... sex and fast food? Anyone heard anything equally bizarre?
(Hey Jonny, Park! Fluffeh Pleece, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:29, archived)

I wish.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:31, archived)

Damn right
most important things in life are chips and sex
( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:35, archived)

you're forgetting beards and lasers.

( Whythebigpaws?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:36, archived)

beards crisps
( Druid, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:36, archived)

and lollipops

(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:37, archived)

and stripey tops in the manner of french people.

( Whythebigpaws?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:40, archived)

did you get my text?
i can get seabrooks!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:42, archived)

I have Salt and vinegar Seabrooks now
They are all the woo
(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:53, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/stuff_youve_overheard/post10636/
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:31, archived)

oooh
accusations of plagerism!
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:33, archived)

*gets bitchy*

( ArthurTheRat, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:34, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/1601649
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:36, archived)

Wow, what are the chances of that?

( Druid, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:33, archived)

Shiiiit
It must be a genetic thing. That's just fucking spooky!
(Hey Jonny, Park! Fluffeh Pleece, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:34, archived)

I was just thinking that

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:34, archived)

Of course it is
In the same way happiness is a fine cigar
(Viscous Fridge Magnet Used To Be A Cha-Cha, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:32, archived)

HAHAHAH
HOW MUCH BETTER WE ARE THAN THEM!
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:32, archived)

I think he was just making a observation...

(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:35, archived)

Yeah...
Wales is actually OK as long as you're not English and more west than Swansea or more north than Pontardawe.
(Hey Jonny, Park! Fluffeh Pleece, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:37, archived)

Parrott in 'taking polically correct stand' shock...

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:42, archived)

Been told something among those lines so many times

( Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:32, archived)

A group of lads were going down Headingley high street, having a very loud conversation
and I overheard one of them say "YEAH - AN' THEN VEY OPENED THE DOOR AN' HE WAS WANKIN' ON VE BED, FACKIN' NAY-KIDT!!! HURHUHUHUHUHUH!!!!!"
Nice one mate, thanks for sharing that with the 150-odd people within earshot.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:35, archived)

ok, we were at an arsenal game and my mate shouted "Oi ref, thats disragceful"
and a man turned round and said
"oooooOOOOo look who's swallowed a dictionary. Why don't you just say shit! Next thing you know, you'll be saying Constantinople!"
( Whythebigpaws?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:38, archived)

People who are proud of being ignorant are fucking shit.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:40, archived)

shit Ignorant
(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:42, archived)

this is true,
what i liked about it though was the use of the word Constantinople, I felt like telling him they call it Istanbul these days.
( Whythebigpaws?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:42, archived)

Personally
I like the way you deliberately spelt "disgraceful" all wrong. Alanis would be proud.


/ironic
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:43, archived)

i like to think i am one of the worst spellers on the board.
*mashes away at keys*
( Whythebigpaws?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:46, archived)

That Ding-a-ling fell for Ding-a-ling fellow is definitely the worst grammarian

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:47, archived)

i was thinking that my grammar is ok like
shit. thats not even very good 'pretend bad grammar'.

C+ must try harder.
( Whythebigpaws?, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:51, archived)

so that's a neato what now right

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:52, archived)

C++

Error: Unexpected EOF G__fgetstream_new():2 FILE:grammar.cxx LINE:40

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:54, archived)

jrbkjg
nfmneo
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:48, archived)

'Byzantium'
would have been even better.


He probably thought 'Constantinople' was, first and foremost, the name of a kebab shop. :)
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:44, archived)

Gar
I fucking hate that too.
(Viscous Fridge Magnet Used To Be A Cha-Cha, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:44, archived)

That's true
polysyllabic words are a no-no.

Although I've a feeling a few Arsenal execs will be brushing up on their legal wordage
(Hey Jonny, Park! Fluffeh Pleece, Thu 1 Jun 2006, 18:42, archived)