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There's a fat ginge on the TV
But never mind that, I need ideas for what I can get my secretary to do for me today...
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:06, archived)
Recycle paper
By tippexing out anything you've printed!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:07, archived)
I was thinking more of things that can be followed by
"... with sexy results".
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
In that case
call up the "Anne summers"/"victorias secret" websites and ask her to "help" you choose a gift for someone...
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)
Back Catalogue every biscuit you've consumed in her presence
VIA FINGER PROBING! ... with sexy results
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:07, archived)
Got room under your desk?

(I helped save b3ta! setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:07, archived)
Working from home
no desk involved
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)
You have an in-home secretary?
Oh, you kinky man!
(I helped save b3ta! setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)
Bend over your desk while you spank her and wank on her arse?


Edit: You've got a secretary? How come?
(I helped save b3ta! Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:07, archived)
And then sit at your desk for several days in a wedding dress shitting and pissing herself.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)
I'm going to ask our admin girl to do this when she starts.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)
she could be 8ft and built like a brick shithouse

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:12, archived)
With a bit of luck!

(I helped save b3ta! Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:13, archived)
Keep going...

(I helped save b3ta! Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:14, archived)
and she looks like Jeremy Beadle

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! prem1um is full of life, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:15, archived)



INRBM has a temporary job
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)
Then definitely the spanking.
It's what I would do.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:16, archived)
spanking and wanking
it's teh winnar
(I helped save b3ta! frunt It's been a while..., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:22, archived)
But you're not here
in a complete failure of planning.
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:22, archived)
It's a reaction to insecurity in his childhood and an abusive relationship with his soon-to-be-ex wife.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)
get her to tell you about your faults
it will make you a better person.
(I helped save b3ta! Whythebigpaws?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
with sexy results?

(I helped save b3ta! Whythebigpaws?, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
even under all that spunk?

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)
Some work?
Thats what i get mine to do
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
GO TO THE MOON

(I helped save b3ta! Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
...with sexy results

(I helped save b3ta! Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
Get her to put a worm in an envelope and then spank her absolutely pink.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
This almost goes without saying

(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:14, archived)
Get some quotes
Select some random office appliances/supplies from the staples catalogue then ask her to get some better quotes for supplying them from elsewhere.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
Tell her that she needs to strip her assets
while you invest your hidden slush fund
into her niche market opening.

or something.
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:08, archived)
This sounds like a good idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)
You've got some filthy little fantasies young man

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)
It's heterosexual filth
I feel guilty just thinking about it.
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:11, archived)
pffffffffft

(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:22, archived)
Dictaphone.

(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)
Do you think she can stick a finger up my bottom while giving me a blowjob and jerking off my mum and fingering my dad... at the same time?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:09, archived)
that begs the question...
3 hands or long fingers?
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:11, archived)
I reckon an orangutan could do it.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:15, archived)
take a look at her job
description, pick the things that need doing, write a list of the order you would like these things done and give it to her.
You are a rubbesh boss.
(I helped save b3ta! flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)
But that doesn't sound like much fun

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:10, archived)
...with sexy results?

(I helped save b3ta! Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:12, archived)
YES !
"Make a list of stuff that [someone else she dislikes] can do around the office."

Then when she makes the list, say "Here, do this..."
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:11, archived)
make her
staple cabbage leaves to her face
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:11, archived)
This is going on the list.

(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:12, archived)
Ask her for references....
...specify they must be past boyfriends/conquests etc.

Then make her phone them and ask for a reference.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:14, archived)
And about what position she was applying for
and whether she would be able to work under you. Also, if she was thinking of working her way up...

etc etc.

/filth.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:16, archived)
She's also demonstrating good experience of manual handling
to say nothing of excellent oral presentation skills and bedside manner
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:29, archived)
based on all the suggestions above
I would love Gizmo to now reveal that his secretary is male, and you've all been imagining spanking a man and enjoying anal foreplay.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:12, archived)
Ufortunately it is worse.
I am his 'secretary' & the 'home' he is working from is my front room.
*bends over*
(I helped save b3ta! ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:14, archived)

room bottom
(I helped save b3ta! Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:16, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2446507
(I helped save b3ta! Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 15:14, archived)