Yesterday
A 14 year old girl on the street flashed me her tits, and a random on a bike shouted "you can't please everyone you know" at me (possibly because I was carrying the Independent). And I saw coppers on pushbikes.

My life's usually quite random, but these really took the biscuit.

/walking down Broad St blog
( The Running Man, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:37, archived)

Pictures

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:38, archived)

I realised how much my partner was like me last night
we where walking down the cakes ile in Tesco.

Some little ginger fat kid ran up to her mum shouting “mum mum can we bake a cake”

To this without saying a word both me and the fella burst into laughter.

We held hands… ah true love.

anyhow back on topic... some show for cookies!

Edit : ever hear the term " only for a chocolate bicky?"
( Zenith - SAVE THE DUCKS!, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:44, archived)

I doubt the future
of any relationship in which you don't laugh at ridiculous or bizarre things.

Or both trun to each other at the same time and say exactly the same thing, then wonder what sort of sick thought processes the other's been going through to get to precisely that.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:47, archived)

Even if it's laughing
at ginger people and retards licking windows
(Stone Cold Minge Binge - Wrist Deep in a gibbon, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:51, archived)

Hang on
Quote :
"A 14 year old girl on the street flashed me her tits"

How did u know if she was 14?

Was she wearing a badge for her birthday?
( Zenith - SAVE THE DUCKS!, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:59, archived)

here:
www.b3ta.com/talk/454767
( Fergburger, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 11:01, archived)

Because they were just starting to bud with the bloom of youth,
being small yet firm with pert crimson nipples.
( Mr. Tea Dmedff, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 11:02, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/454813
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 11:04, archived)

*fwaps*
( Fergburger, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 11:14, archived)

Goddamnit
where have i heard that from?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:48, archived)

It's the punchline to a rubbish joke.
You probably heard it when you were about 9.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:49, archived)

The playground,
about 1985.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:50, archived)

your sister's bedroom
circa 1983?
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:56, archived)

why do random girls
never flash their tits at me? :(
( watashi-wa Evenin'!, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:38, archived)

As my mate said
I clearly attract the wrong type of girls, ie. ones that will get me arrested
( The Running Man, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:39, archived)

Policewomen ?
crack whores ?

Drug mules ?

Lucky you
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:44, archived)

Well
Stop pimping your sister.
( Zenith - SAVE THE DUCKS!, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:38, archived)

Well this
morning I have mainly been listening to recordings of myself faking orgasms to many different men's names, over-dubbed with cheesy porn music.

I'm doing this in my office - shirley they've noticed the blushing..?
( Dekazer, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:38, archived)

upload
?
( Dill, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:39, archived)

Haha
I'm sure you'll get to hear one tomorrow, whilst you enjoy a lifesize chocolate nipple.
( Dekazer, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:40, archived)

With a nipple hair stuck in the back of it

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:41, archived)

What sort
of women have you been meeting Mykey?
( Dekazer, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:42, archived)

Ape women
From tibet
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:43, archived)

Some people have all the luck.

( Mr. Tea Dmedff, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 11:00, archived)

You werent faking those organisms
You dirty girl.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:40, archived)

You're spelling is terribel this mornign.

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:41, archived)

Gell mey aboot it

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:43, archived)

I think they're fab
I can upload one if you want feedback from this depraved lot?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:40, archived)

Oh why not..
www.b3ta.com/talk/454757

Edit: Any requests for names?
( Dekazer, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:41, archived)

me
/edit: don't bother really, I can't download it at work and won't b arsed to download it at home later. no offence like.
( Fergburger, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:44, archived)

do you have a Nick?
As I could then send it to the missus to scare her ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:44, archived)

ok
www.izzyviper.org/kevin.mp3
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:44, archived)

Could you upload
one but change the file extension (to anything other than mp3) so I can d/l it please :)
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:46, archived)

ok
changed it to .txt - will that help?


you should hear the Sam one...
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:49, archived)

Heheh I want to!
Have it kicking about?

Edit: Hahaha just listened to the Kevin one - awesome!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:49, archived)

you're not having it at work
because you'll make a mess. you'll just have to wait :P
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:51, archived)

*bows*

( Dekazer, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:56, archived)

*applauds*
*changes name by deed poll*
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 15 Apr 2005, 11:01, archived)

not here
websense still finds it
( Fergburger, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:52, archived)

Don't click the link
put www.izzyviper.org/kevin.txt in your browser and then save when it prompts
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:53, archived)

that's what i did
it still says multimedia detected. bastards
( Fergburger, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:56, archived)

Harsh :(

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:59, archived)

brilliantly
as it goes into iTunes in alphabetical order, that faded seamlessly into "Learning to fly"

ace.

/Was that you or Dekazer? it's very good ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:48, archived)

that's
Dekazer
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:49, archived)

excellent
dirtier then a Cornish tin miner's sock, IMO.

;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:51, archived)

She's very good
can I borrow her?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:53, archived)

everyone else has...

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:54, archived)

everyone except you...
;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:55, archived)

and you...

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:56, archived)

a comeback
of astounding wit there sir. Also sadly true.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 11:11, archived)

Yes
www.b3ta.com/talk/454472
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:44, archived)

me!!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:44, archived)

yeah yeah yeah
I know what you want yours to sound like
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:45, archived)

Anything other than "Are you done yet?"
Would probably be a bonus...
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:49, archived)

Is it in yet?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:50, archived)

Who do you expect to satisfy with that?
"Myself."
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:52, archived)

and the thing about premature ejaculation
is - Premature for who, exactly?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:52, archived)

Arf!
It's good to be a man.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:55, archived)

he wants both of us together
screaming his name
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:50, archived)

Not true sir!
I am a sex god:)*


*May be lies,filthy lies!!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:50, archived)

This
as it will ease my friday hangover :)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:41, archived)

Paedo.
*sends name to News Of The World*

[edit: can you tell a girl's age, just by looking at her breasts?]
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:39, archived)

It's a simple formula
(x+y)/z
where x= cup size, y= nipple colouration and z= droop factor
( The Running Man, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:41, archived)

I wish I could get funding
for that sort of research.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:46, archived)

I
Had an interview for a position which didn't exist, got offered another interview, got pissed off, did an hour and a half of weights, pushed a little 14 yr old cunt who thought he was a big man over a hedge and had a wank.
(Stone Cold Minge Binge - Wrist Deep in a gibbon, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:39, archived)

simultaneously?

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:40, archived)

Almost
all in a row.
(Stone Cold Minge Binge - Wrist Deep in a gibbon, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:43, archived)

Walking down broad street ?
or wanking on broadsheets ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:42, archived)

Useful if I run out of tissues I suppose
Politicans: spunk on their faces

Edit: and then vote
( The Running Man, Fri 15 Apr 2005, 10:51, archived)