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We had the RSPCA coming door-to door today.
Is this a new thing? The young bloke was persistent, and I nearly had to get cross.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:39, archived)
Doing what?
Collecting donations or making sure you weren't molesting puppies?
(I helped save b3ta! Bob Todd whee, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:39, archived)
A little from column A, a little from column B. But mostly column B.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:40, archived)
where column A and column B are bags of minced puppies and kittens repectively?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:42, archived)
try some of column A
try ALL of column B

/Genie from Aladin
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:43, archived)
Did you have any unwanted or mistreated pets to give them?

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:39, archived)
stop raping cuffbert then

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:40, archived)
he can't
I stole him
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:41, archived)
YOU STOP RAPING HIM
AND BLAMING DRUID!!
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:42, archived)
Hard to rape a stuffed cat
when my real life cats took a disliking to him and shredded it.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:43, archived)
pfft
GARD THIS BITCH!! *SWIPE* :D
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:47, archived)
He's not even here. Judging from my housewarming bash on calendar
there's no shortage of happy guards.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:44, archived)
eew..
cov? *shudder*
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:47, archived)
Coventry... "Better than Croydon"

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:49, archived)
its a fucking tough call..

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:51, archived)
Treat your pets well then

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:40, archived)
What were they doing?
You dirty puppy toucher.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:40, archived)
blimey
how far apart are the doors? that's some feat.

You'd have to be persistant to get that sort of jizz-distance
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:40, archived)
Oh my. You're dirty.

(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:42, archived)
moi?

(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:43, archived)
I might have to spank you.

(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:45, archived)
they probably plug it up
then have a pal karate chop it like a smarties tube
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:43, archived)
We often get charity folks knocking on our door.
I'd prefer the JWs, to be honest. They don't ask for money, and they'll leave you some magazines with nice pictures in if you're lucky.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:40, archived)
I had this recently
he was about 12 and I was very polite, but he was pushy. So I did my annoyed jenny scowl and he went away.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:40, archived)
Can you do an annoyed Jenny Powell?

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:41, archived)
no
I'm not gay LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:42, archived)
You did have your hand shoved right up the cats bracket at the time...

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:42, archived)
Gaydow
fucking loves it.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:44, archived)
He's a proper bender.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:45, archived)
Ever stuck your finger up a dog's bum?

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:41, archived)
I had a cerebral palsy charity at my door a couple of days ago
a bloke with a withered hand and speech problems asking for money.

I am a heartless cunt, and I gave him nothing, but it has made me feel guilty for days.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:42, archived)
Why did you say no?

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:43, archived)
because I don't like being charity mugged

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:45, archived)
He couldn't understand the bloke
and the cash he did give kept falling out of his withered hand.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:47, archived)
Did you light up a cigar with a £50 note before laughing at him and then closing the door?
I bet you did, you horrible bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:44, archived)
i told an old man in a book shop that i'd buy some books and needed to go and get money.
in actuality he was charging too much. He was so old and frail I felt sad about it for a year.
(WhiskyForAll! b3ta isn't the place to bully people., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:44, archived)
It might be the closest you ever get to meeting jeremy beadle now

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:44, archived)
guilty for what?
if you agree with the work the charity does, but not their tactics, then make a donation online, and put a sentence or two with it saying that you won't be donating to them again because of their methods.

I don't know how I feel about it, because the best people to tell someone about the work that a charity does is the person who's benefited from that work, but the best person to ask for money is a fundraiser.
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:47, archived)
I saw oxfam doing that down my street
yesterday.

Get to fuck I say. If I want to donate, I will. Get the fuck off my doorstep.

Chugged, in my own home. :(
(yacob, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:43, archived)
i was asked by a chugger in the street the other day.
I said no thanks, he asks why. I said he was getting paid for chugging more than i do for my work, and I didn't give to charities that worked like that.



yeah, this story went nowhere pretty damn quickly.
(WhiskyForAll! b3ta isn't the place to bully people., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:46, archived)
Quite.
Its a horrible practise. what's worse is the sanctimony of the smug cunts they employ to do it.

'What do you mean you don't want to help the poor little children?'
'Fuck right off.'
Repeat ad nausea.
(yacob, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:49, archived)
i don't see how 50p helps when it's put in a pot being held by someone on 7 quid an hour

(WhiskyForAll! b3ta isn't the place to bully people., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:51, archived)
people collecting actual cash, are rarely paid
direct debits work because it gives the charity a chance to build relationship with, and to involve you in other types of fundraising that they couldn't have done if you weren't signed up.

Even at 50p a month, and 7 quid an hour, you'll have paid for that chugger in 14 months, most people don't cancel within 2 years, so you're in profit for 8 months even before you think about gift aid.
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:57, archived)
try living in zone 1
i cant move for the bastards..
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:49, archived)
Remotely operated fire.
The medieval had the right idea.

A boiling vat of oil above your doorstep.....
(yacob, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:50, archived)
they dont come knocking at my door
but between the free newspapers and the chuggers leaving the house between 4 and 7 is a right pain in the arse
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:52, archived)
nah
sign up, pay the direct debit for 6 months, then cancel. The company paying the chugger then has to pay the charity for the value of your donations up to 2 years.
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:53, archived)
do they turn up and try and pronounce their organisation in acronym form?
cos that would almost make them 'R'SPeck!' phonetically
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:47, archived)
I don't normally bother answering the door for them.
I like talking to chuggers, survey people and religionists I meet in town, though.

I generally tell them straight away that there's no way I'll give them any money, but that they're welcome to talk to me anyway if they like. They always do, and we often have quite nice conversations once their need to make a sales pitch is gone.
(I helped save b3ta! MooCow_Byter, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:51, archived)
That's like talking to Big Issue sellers, something I should
do more often.

BTW, housewarming bash :D
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:02, archived)