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I had a dream where I was a Star Fleet officer, I was The Ship's Mediator
and had to resolve intergalactic conflicts through the use of Shakespearean language.

I resolved a border dispute between the Federation and the Romulans through the cunning use of the 'mercy' speech from The Merchant of Venice (which in my dream, I knew by heart)

What do you think your rank and position would be on the Enterprise?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:25, archived)
YOU FUCKING FAT GEEK

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:26, archived)
You're nerdier than any of the other fat messes that spend their entire lives on this board

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:26, archived)
I can't code though.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:29, archived)
Gary
Barnet branch. mainly van hire.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:27, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:30, archived)
Heh :)

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
That guy who isn't on the Enterprise because it's fictional and boring.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:27, archived)
You can choose a different fictional vessel if that makes you feel better?
Deep Space Nine?
Firefly?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:27, archived)
The Good Ship Venus?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:30, archived)
If you like.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:34, archived)
My dreams have been quite dull of late.
Not quite as dull as this one though.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:27, archived)
It was a thrilling adventure on the wagontrail to the stars!

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:28, archived)
have you stopped dreaming about us lot?
I'm disappointed.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:28, archived)
Nope.
broadsword was the last victim some time last week.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
sort it out.
I demand more dreams.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:35, archived)
jesus!
I only slept on your sofa in that dream. Nothing too exciting...
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:36, archived)
You spent your dream sleeping?
You dull, dull girl.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
Yep.
You've met me, you know how dull I am.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
I can't really remember.
I dozed off for most of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:42, archived)
It was more of a general request
not specifically about any particular one of us..
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:53, archived)
yeah right



;)
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:56, archived)
I'm still recovering now

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
I'm having horrifically vivid
nasty dreams.

goes with being pregnant *sigh*
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
really?
*huggles*
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
I could clean the windows
I'd intentionally do a bad job though, out of spite.

NOT SO GREAT LOOKING AT THAT LOVELY PLANET YOU'RE GOING TO VISIT THROUGH A GRIMY SMEAR IS IT CAPTAIN DICKARD
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:28, archived)
lol the enterprise only has windows in the series.
In the later films, they are replaced by forcefields.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:29, archived)
so if the power goes for a second,
they're all instantly dead? that's clever.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:29, archived)
I can only empasise this
IT'S NOT BLOODY REAL. WHO GIVES A RAT'S COCK?

*and breathe*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
science fiction is still supposed to make sense though.
Granted, Star Trek never did.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
There are large redundacy measures and most of the ship is separate from the few areas that have views into space.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
I guess.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
haha
why do they even need windows, anyway? The bridge just has an enormous telly at the front.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
Worf's always hogging it watching cash in the attic on BBC-HD

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:33, archived)
I NEED TO KNOW THE VALUE OF THIS TEAPOT
OR MY ANCESTORS WILL BE DISHONOURED.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:34, archived)
ALEXANDER!

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:36, archived)
I think the windows are in recreational parts of the ship
and the observation lounge.

I'm sure the Trek wiki can tell you.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:34, archived)
I'm not going there,
I might catch something unpleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:35, archived)
Presumably
The windows are for crew members who don't like Picard's taste in programmes to stare out of when he's watching the soaps.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
and if they're naughty,
he can press a button and eject them.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:38, archived)
That might be difficult
Without depressurising the entire bridge. Possibly not a wise move.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:40, archived)
what happens when they need to DIVERT ALL AVAILABLE POWER TO SHIELDS/GUNS/McGUFFIN #4?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
they all have to get in the wardrobe

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
I think it might only be the Captains readyroom, chambers, the bar and the observation lounge that have forciefields as well.
I'm not an expert though.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:33, archived)
any reason why?
I'm guessing there's a ridiculous plot element involved.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:34, archived)
I think the forcefield windows are only alluded to in
First Contact, as an example of how vast the gulf in technology is between the 24th century and the point of first contact.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:36, archived)
They catapult the dead bodies at their enemy's ships
Manly Kingon kids coz they've got bumpy hard heads.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:33, archived)
I DRIVE THE BOAT.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:29, archived)
Assuming that in the future,
everyone has a job, even me...
I'd probably be working down the cargo bay counting palettes or something. How exciting.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:29, archived)
no no no
With your computery knowledge, I see you more as Chief Engineer Jam Master Geordie La Forge
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:30, archived)
I don't know all that much about 23rd century computers just yet.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
You aren't really getting into the spirit of things.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:36, archived)
I am,
I'm fucking inventing them as we speak.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
speaking of which...

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:39, archived)
My friends and I
used to pull our alice bands down over our eyes and pretend to be Geordi La Forge.
(I helped save b3ta! Comma, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
I'd be Holo Deck Operative
So I could watch you all have sexy times with air on imaginary furniture.

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/12979/1175778696.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:29, archived)
That is brilliant

(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/7b56ac272ae16f710ea2/shatnersweatgif.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:34, archived)
Hooray!

(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:35, archived)
that bob hoskins is looking a bit rough these days

(Dangermouse., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/12979/1176204264.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:34, archived)
Always liked this one.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
how about this?
i90.photobucket.com/albums/k264/Wormulus/gaytrek.gif
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:40, archived)
I want to draw something today but I don't know what.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:45, archived)
Living proof of why
You shouldn't look down the wrong end of a phaser to see where the light comes from.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:38, archived)
He's like a latter-day PJ or Duncan.

(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:43, archived)
Hahahahaha.
Haha.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:35, archived)
ship cock

(WhiskyForAll! b3ta isn't the place to bully people., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:29, archived)
Wesley Crusher?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:31, archived)
i thought that

(WhiskyForAll! b3ta isn't the place to bully people., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:33, archived)
I used to crush on him quite hard
despite the unitard.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:33, archived)
I'd biff Deanna Troi right in her tit badge so it would be doing
*Beedeepoop**Beedeepoop**Beedeepoop**Beedeepoop* and calling the bridge and they'd hear her getting pounded and calling me Captain Beanspread and bloopingallovertheplacehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....I'm done.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
Maybe it's because she's a Landahnaaaaah

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:39, archived)
Oi lleeeeev it SUNSHYNE!
I'm the most Londony Londer sounding on here. I got a cock knee voice.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:43, archived)
Giving the ladies pearly necklaces.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:47, archived)
My brother sent me a postcard from a place called Watchet.
He tells me the next towns along are called Leavet and Avet ;o)
(allergic to curry, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:50, archived)
I'd be an anonymous crew member who's never appeared in any previous episode
and gets put on dangerous away missions with two indispensable characters.
(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:30, archived)
Ensign Ricky?

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:34, archived)
What's my surname? I DON'T HAVE ONE, DO I?

(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:38, archived)
think twice before you put that red jersey on in the morning.
only Scotty gets away with that. Remember, blue and yellow are the safe colours.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:43, archived)
you're such a terrible geek.
DS9 should have had an alien zoo. I'd like to have worked there, if I had to choose.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
DS9 should have BEEN an alien zoo.
that would have made a much better series. No matter keeping all the fucking aliens outa human space and fighting monsters in a mother fucking wormhole, the apes from venus need feeding and the martian cunt snake take needs cleaning. A nightmare!
(WhiskyForAll! b3ta isn't the place to bully people., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:35, archived)
I'd give you any odds there'd be fucking Klingon animal rights activists trying to release the animals.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:36, archived)
and full of exotic diseases
caught off the Rampant Trogbeast from Alpha 4.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
Security officer, hopefully

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:32, archived)
Surely Captain?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:36, archived)
That would be the best
but realistically (yes, I know) I'd take security officer.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
Chief of Security might hold the rank of captain.
While the actual captain might be a commodore or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 11:11, archived)
I watched "Doomsday" last night
It had the guy who played Bashir in it as the prime minister.

"The President?" I slurped into my tea. "Bashir, that terrible bastard?". But yes, he was the prime minister.

If I was living in Star Trek DreamWorld, I'd be the ship's Tribble
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:48, archived)