"Dear Mr. *****. We're pleased to inform you that you've won an extra £267.43...."
When did a slip up in funds last net YOU a big profit?
I'm quids in and the Unwashed got beat.
What a fantastic 15 minutes.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 22:11, archived)

When I got rejected for the dole
Then got money from a previous job that had been mixing me up for ages.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

This is somehow going to be linked to me.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

Yeah, northerners and dole, and something about basements

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

Now I'm confused!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

Away man, don't pretend to be confused over the dole

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

dole
Government+you=money
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

I actually get fuck all off the government now
Gutted, because now I can't afford to eat.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

after I quit my shitty call center job I was depressed to get a letter fom them
until I opened it to find a cheque for 114 pounds holiday pay.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

That happened to me actually
Was well chuffed.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

It probably confuesed them that I was eligable
the staff turnover was something like 1200%
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

I found £200 quid in an envelope with no identification on it
while walking the dog in the woods the other day.

Win.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:13, archived)

Yep, now there's an angry drug dealer in the woods
And some bastard dead because they haven't paid him.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

And this is a problem because...

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

I didn't realise I'd implied that it was

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

Yeah, but it's okay. Don't worry about it. Everything is fine. No offence.
smashing
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:18, archived)

No offence taken.
Great banter, great times.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

good forum
good times
( mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

This is entirely possible.
It was in the middle of nowhere though. All the money was pretty soggy, it had been there a while.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

was it soggy and salty?
you might have land pirates after you
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

Not sure about salty.
I didn't lick it.

It has all been spent now anyway.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

You're going to davy jone's locker for sure

I don't mean the bottom of the ocean, these are land pirates. You are going to be beaten and tortured and left in a locker in a bus station until you die.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

Christ, what is it with the fucking dog walkers.
Stick to finding half-mutilated sexually assaulted corpses and leave the cash finds to the rest of us!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

The dog is a spaniel.
She is pretty good at sniffing out the corpses.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:18, archived)

whats the most common type of corpse?
tramp, junkie with bad debts, or stabbed up whore?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

Stabbed up whore is a perennial favorite round these parts.
We do get the odd tramp or junkie though. The junkies tend to have been mowed down with a Honda Accord first though.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

Honda accord.
The car that used blood to lubricate its gearbox... gearbox of death!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

Deathbox
Surely nothing as mundane as a gearbox in an Accord.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

Lucky git!

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

It was quite a stroke of luck
My car died the day before and I had no funds to fix it with.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

i read that as cat at first and sadfaced
then i realised it didn't make sense :)
( weaver., Mon 18 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

I found a fiver a couple of weeks ago.

(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

The Unwashed in my house cheered like a fucking looney when they scored.
So I took the biggest knife the house and waved it at him.

I didn't hear a peep out of him a minute later.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

/QOTW

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

I talk about Sunderland on here a lot.
No one has ever told me to take it to QoTW yet.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 22:15, archived)

i think it's the knife thing, and i'm sure there was no offence intended, no offence
great times
( mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

it was a joke between me and another housemate, no offence was intended,
excellent.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

Culling the poor is always a duty of the gentleman.

( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

pull out the old shooting stick and give the blighters what for!

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

I assume the lad in question is a student, so the chances are he can't be justifiably called "poor".

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

nearly all the banks collapses, big wins, or not, no offence
good ok's
( mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

wolfram alpha is the worst name for a search engine i've ever heard
it sounds like the name of a furry porn character
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

It hasn't been very helpful with my test question either.
"Global population by timezone" and variants didn't bring any useful results, neither did trying to get it to do statistical tests on sets of numbers or even something as simple as "how many symphonies did Beethoven write?"

But I'm sure things will improve. The technology is young yet.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Asking "what are Brazil's chief imports?" does bring up a relevant suggested link,
but with all the fuss over its natural language capabilities you'd have thought it'd be able to usefully process simple questions.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:28, archived)

It doesn't even know where in the world carmen san diego is
useless.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

I asked it "What is the Matrix?" and it came out with a load of crap about eigenvectors.
Neo worked that one out 10 years ago!
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

My tax rebate from last year.
Which wasn't a slip-up, but still resulted in a big profit.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Mine was a bit rubbish
I should have claimed for that work I had done on the moat.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

I once found a pound coin under a wardrobe while moving in to a new flat

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

i watched a documentary about a group of children who discovered a mythical land in a wardrobe, good stuff, or not, no offence
wonderful
( mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

I heard they all died

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 22:29, archived)