I feel a little bit sad because I'm not very good at making funny pictures.
You're all on here rather than /board, so you're probably shit at it, too.

What creative talents do we, the good netizens of b3ta.com/talk have to offer the world?
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:46, archived)

i know a horse that can shit diamonds

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:48, archived)

I'm excellent at all b3ta.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 20 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

and never let anyone tell you otherwise

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

This sounds like a 'padded cell' scenario.

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

I'm more wary of padded b3tans.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 20 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

This is starting to sound like Autism

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:51, archived)

I wish I could draw pictures of cats with tits.
It would allow me to comment on other people's pictures of cats with tits.

Nothing else, mind you. I'd only be qualified to comment on pictures of cats with tits.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 20 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

i think riverghost has me on ignore now
now how will i tell him he's wrong :(
( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:52, archived)

I'll tell him for you.
Type your reply, and I'll tell him.
( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

it was my reply to this http://www.b3ta.com/board/9457928 that didn't get any attention from him

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:57, archived)

Done.

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

yesss
this will surely make me the internet big man
( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

Check it!
www.b3ta.com/board/9458050
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

He's a bit confused
by confused I mean shit in the head.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

I hope he hasn't ignored me.
He seems like a nice enough chap - we might not always see eye to eye, but the world would be a dull place indeed if we were all the same. I'm sure that if he and I were to meet in happier circumstances we'd get along just fine, laugh at one another's jokes, buy each other drinks, take each other home to meet our respective families and happily let me borrow his car because mine was impounded and also I had no insurance or driver's license and I was drunk but at least they still have one leg that's good enough for anyone isn't it.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:02, archived)

and you don't have to worry about him sleeping with your wife, just make sure to keep an eye on your pets when he's around

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

Because he fucks animals, right?

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

That's the joke, isn't it?
He's into bestiality. I have to keep an eye on my pets because if I'm not careful he'd violate them with his penis.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:07, archived)

Riverghost rapes house pets.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:07, archived)

yes

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

Yes
Riverghost rapes house pets. Probably interferes with wildlife too, dunno.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:14, archived)

Hold on, there.
Are you telling me that Riverghost rapes animals?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 20 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

Dunno
done a bit of research, you know, asked around and that...turns out, right, that Riverghost rapes animals, yeah
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:20, archived)

supermatt is a child rapist?

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:22, archived)

Shit, we're seriously opening ourselves up to libel cases here, you know.
Or at least we are if all this isn't true. Which it probably is.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:24, archived)

Hmmmm
I'm not sure if we can tell if Riverghost fucks animals unless we fuck some too. Or maybe we just can't comment on the undeniable, cast iron, bolted on fact that Riverghost fucks animals. I'm so confused.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:29, archived)

I think that as long as we can show we had genuine reason to believe that riverghost fucks animals,
and stated that riverghost fucks animals in good faith, we're in the clear.

And while my source might not have explicitly stated that riverghost fucks animals, I think it's easy to see how the conclusion that riverghost fucks animals could be drawn from it.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

I am clickin' all dis.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:37, archived)

Thanks for putting my mind at ease
I feel pretty confident now. Riverghost fucks animals. Riverghost fucks animals. There, it's fine.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

What?
Fucks animals you say? What a terrible thing to do! Fucking animals is illegal!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:44, archived)

You know,
I sort of do hope he has me on ignore now. If he were to see all this, I'm not sure riverghost would want to be my friend any more.

Still, who wants to be friends with an animal fucker?
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:47, archived)

Yes.
I think it is fair to say that Riverghost is in fact an animal rapist. He no doubt spends his evenings plotting new ways to interfere with furry creatures. Riverghost should be ashamed of himself. Those poor defenceless animals have no way to fend off his forced sexual antics.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

I can't be bothered to try and make the allegation that riverghost fucks animals turn up in Google search results.
Suffice to say that if I were willing to make that effort, riverghost would never live down the fact that he fucks animals.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:44, archived)

Forum banter
great times
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:46, archived)

Yeah, you're right.
We have more or less run this joke into the ground now. Probably time for a new thread or something.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

Hah, he's even got a hit counter in his profile.
I shall have to add it to the pasanonic counter auto-raper.

b3ta.belm.co.uk/fiddle
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:21, archived)

excellent.

( Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 20 May 2009, 6:46, archived)

I believe that's what we're getting at here.
Riverghost has been known to personally invade the private spaces of domesticated animals. And by private spaces, I mean rectums. And by personally invade, I mean repeatedly and violently force himself inside. Force his erect cock inside, that is.

So I hear, anyway.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:22, archived)

I moved away from /board when it became overrun by rule-obsessed schoolboys and furries.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

I pretty much just use the internet to rip the piss out of b3tans

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

Well young Gilgamesh,
that's a creative talent too.

Ripping the piss out of b3tans plays an important role in modern society, and the world would surely be a poorer place without people to do that job.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:52, archived)

I write
Visuals are not my strength

And I don't have to time to read the QOTWs
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

Plus everyone knows that QoTW make everything up and are fat, smelly liars.
Here on /talk we pride ourselves on our sincerity, lean, toned bodies and excellent personal hygiene.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

I done a poo

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

totally smoking a cigarette right here

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:52, archived)

I'm literally going to take my dog outside so he can shit.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

I'm only metaphorically taking my dog for a walk.
Is this ok? I would hate to form an opinion of something before I experienced it first hand.
no offence, great banter
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 20 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

Oh man,
I totally want to smoke a cigarette. Smoking is awesome. I only started smoking to see if I could give up again, but once I tried it I realised that it's really enjoyable as well as all that stuff about cancer and losers calling you disgusting.

I didn't really have any pressing need to stop, but now that I have I'd be letting myself down if I walked the two minutes to the convenient 24-hour Co-op and bought a pack of awesome, cool-making fags.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

I JUST DID THAT
Now I'm going to do it again. Fucking hell. We need a secret handshake or something.

*something about That Smoking Ban*
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:44, archived)

i can pour a pint of guinness with a smiley face in it

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

I've glassed people for less

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

i have other talents
but i don't think anbody here would be interested in them
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

I've done that several times
It was pure luck as I'm shit at it, but it averaged an extra 50p tip each time. This is good, especially when I do it 12 times and get two bottles of wine flavoured lighter fluid from ASDA on the way home.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:53, archived)

I can appraise art.
I will officially have a qualification in this in a month's time.

Perhaps I should take up the post as the official art critic of /board.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

You should. If you let them know you're a girl, they'll thank you for letting them know you think their work is shit!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:10, archived)

No, I'm afraid you need more than that.
Unless you are able to create art of a higher or equally high standard, you may not judge the work of others.

Who judges whose art is good enough to let them judge how good art is, I don't know. I suppose we need criticism critics, who let people know whether their criticism is of adequate quality to allow them to be critical of other critics on their ability to criticise artists who aspire to make criticisms of art.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

Or, you can be 6 foot 4 or taller, aged 34, and ALL MAN.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

As someone who is shorter than that, less old than that,
and probably not 100% completely MAN, I don't feel qualified to comment.

But at least I'm young, pretty, and my feet don't stick out the end of my bed.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:20, archived)

He's smarter, taller and older than me
I think the technical term for that is a fascist.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:22, archived)

Hahaha.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

I can do meta-art criticism.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

I'm a musician
+10 sexpoints.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

The pink oboe
or the skin flute?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 20 May 2009, 2:47, archived)