Just found out my step-son has severe osteoarthritis
and he has to have a new hip. He's only 29. Anyone medical here know much about it?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:05, archived)

Yes, he's a spastic.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

It's called Scope now

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

Ah.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

Stop being a tard.
The Spastic Society is called Scope. Spastics are still spastics.
( CowJam, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

^Speaking sense.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Spastics with cerebral palsy,
if you want to be precise.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

You're a spastic with cerebal palsy
you fucking crip
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

Nope.
Scopers now.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

No he isn't, he's got osteoarthritis.

( CowJam, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

I say, I say, I say, how much osteoarthritis can I get per punnet?

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

I keep reading the first part of the word
in the same voice cowboys use when they woot and holler "RODEO!"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Erm... no.
Spasticity is connected with the motor system / central nervous system.
It's where some muscles spasm causing muscle tightness.
Fuck all to do with osteoarthritis, but don't let your lack of knowledge hamper your use of the internet, there Dekion.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:41, archived)

Thanks, dad.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Who are you, Stephen Hawking?
Spastic.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Careful now.
That is sounding very much like the makings of a wobble.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

In my expert medical opinion I'd say that getting a new hip at 29 may potentially be due to severe osteoarthritis

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

I know that the son of your missus is bonefucked

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

likes a bit of baculum eh?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

is that like a speculum for your back?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Not really
Bit harsh at 29 though!
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

I know :(

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

Osteoarthritis?
He's been pretty unlucky then, that usually affects older people. Maybe 50-60+.
Rheumatoid arthritis mostly affects young people, 20-50ish. If it's osteo, it's degenerative and I'm not sure there's much they can do beyond symptom treatment and replacing joints.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

the doctor did say it's very rare

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

Oof, poor sod.
How old are you then to have a step-son that old?
( CowJam, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

over 40

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

Oh dear

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

I'm about to eat some quiche

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

I'm so sorry

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:11, archived)

*nyom nom nom*
There's also sweetcorn and baby spuds. Pub later. Good work, I say.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

No, but I do know putting some vanilla in my rocky road was a fucking brilliant idea.
Oh yeah.
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

It's lovely in coffee

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

I usually go for hazelnut if I'm having a flavoured coffee.
But goddamn I have made the best rocky road.
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

Ok so technically Nigella Lawson has
but I added vanilla and stared at her tits a bit in the book
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

Does Rocky Road have nuts in it?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

This one doesn't.
It can do, though.
( ArthurTheRat, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Noo, leave them out.
Evil things.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

They ruin textures of nice foods.
Like almonds in curries and apple crumbles.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

Not much more to know.
It's a big enough surgery, he'll be on bed rest and physio for a long while.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

Nils Lofgren has two artificial hips
TRIVIA TIEM.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

Rutger Hauer doesn't have any artificial hips

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

How did he manage that?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

He needed new hips
Still does flippy trampoline things on-stage though. It's ACE.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Nicholas cage
has no artificial hips
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

Don't new hips only last about 10 years though?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

Yeah, then you get 2000pounds off the government if you trade them in for new hips

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

Dunno in humans.
Don't let him jump off couches, it's not a good idea for dogs that just had a THR. We have a year old lab in that had one, it's failed four times because he's a mentallist.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

do their legs just fall off?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

Eventually we have to chop them off.
Choppy choppy.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

using chainsaws

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

Then honey, salt, pepper, rosemary and olive oil.
oven at 220c for 60-75 minutes.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:38, archived)

Nah, bone saws.
I got to chop a foot off a cat's severed leg for the lab once. That was cool.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:41, archived)

nah,
they usually last about 20 years and they will put in as small an implant as possible so that they can replace it later when it moves out.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

This.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 21 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

he will kinda be like Steve Austin
only not be able to run very fast and no ner ner ner ner ner noise when he walks about.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

My grandmother had a new hip, I know she is much older than him but she found her pain was so much better very soon after the op
It's probably worth contacting your local social services to see if there is equipment they can give/loan him during recovery.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

exoskeleton
with flame throwers would be something I want.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

You be careful
He'll be standing on street corners talking bout his bitches and hos, and how he likes to shoot people in the face once he's had a hip op.
( magnum, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

its a peice of piss.
surgery takes anything from 2-5 hours depending on the type of implant and the skill of the surgeon. he wont be able to get out of bed for 5 days post of. 6 weeks of little movement, then lots of physio. he will also have to be careful of dislocating it for the rest of his life, certain positions will just make it pop right out.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

The last bit of your post makes me feel queasy
:(
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

you should see the operation!
its the most violent thing you can do to a human legally.

it involves slide hammer, drills thigh reamers. and something that resembles a round cheese grater to bore into the pelvis.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:33, archived)

I hate you

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL3dNIuQp4E
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:40, archived)

I love seeing them.
I fucking hate cleaning up after them, though. Tons of stuff to pack and sterilise.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

the worse bit is finding the lumps of bone all over the place..
they crack like popcorn when you step on them.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:36, archived)

Nice.
I saw a few spinal ops in the last few weeks, they use pliers to snap off bits of the spine to use as bone graft.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:39, archived)

they have the best name in the world
they are called bone nibblers
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:41, archived)

Awesome.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6166595
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:41, archived)

'fraid not.
I'm a clinical scientist, I was only there to see the spinal cord monitoring.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

I'll be having that too :)
*rather nervous*
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Nice.
Don't worry, you won't feel them passing electricity through your spine.
Seriously though, they do a good job.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

electricity and spines
never did doctor frankensteins creations any harm now did it.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:53, archived)

We've come a long way.
Don't have to wait for the lightning strikes any more, and they usually don't go insane.
Usually.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:54, archived)

do they still do the jiggly dance?

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:02, archived)

We have to pay extra for that

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:04, archived)

We don't seem to get much bone on our floor, now you mention it.
Jez is probably too anal to let any fall.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

to be fair,
i wouldnt imagine there was much to throw about on something the size of a cat..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:45, archived)

We don't do them on cats, they get femoral head and neck excisions, a pseudo joint forms, and they're grand.
Cats have brilliant bones. We usually do them on big ones like labs and weimaraners.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:48, archived)

psuedo joint?
do the ends just round off or something?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

what no pick axe
hacksaw or lasers?
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

and then the oiled midgets in leather come in
I've seen this film before
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

Do you work in this area?
Ever seen a laminectomy?
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:40, archived)

sorry, spinal is one of the few things i have never seen.
i have done max fax, cardiac, transgender, plastics, A+E and trauma, and abdominal. isnt laminectomy taking the edges off of a vertebrae?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:45, archived)

Yeah, opening up the spine to work on the cord within

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

you will be fine..
i have seen the stuff they put the patients in for spinal surgery, you will be locked down tighter than a nuns chuff. where are you getting it done?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

Royal London in Whitechapel

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

oh, christ, you are fucked...

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

only kidding.
there are only 1 or two better places to get spinal done. and they are all trained in the same place anyway, so its all good.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

Git! :D
They can't make me much worse anyway.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:53, archived)

yeah they can.
but statistically they are VERY unlikely to.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:57, archived)

*blinks*
why?
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:52, archived)

you`ll get diddled whilst under the knife.

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:54, archived)

Cool, I'd love to see transgender.
I'll never see that. Unless things in veterinary science change drastically.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

Or you change career :)

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

thats nothing
I have done jet set willy,maniac miner,monty mole and horace and the spiders.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

I've seen it done on daschunds
very very cool op and good recovery time.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:07, archived)

Like jumping off a couch, which Rusty's owners decided to let him do less than a week after his surgery.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

nah,
but if he was gay, bending over on his knees so he could be slipped a length would make it spang right out.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

ohh watch me hip as you prod me prostate

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:38, archived)

pretty much.

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:39, archived)

His owners are so retarded.
They were told STRICT cage rest, walk only on lead, and then they moaned when he had to have more surgery. He's doped up to the eyeballs on ACP now 'til he heals.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:45, archived)

Oh christ, the amount of owners we've had doing that when they've JUST had a TPLO is stupid.
We had one come out from cage rest with us for 3 days for the owner to open the tail gate of their car and tell the dog to jump up into it. Nearly fucking killed her.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:57, archived)

at that age, it's kinder to put them down

( scott,, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Pffft

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:49, archived)

Provided he gets decent physio, he should be up and walking around again in a couple of months.
Tough break at only 29 though.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:56, archived)

no, but let me know how it goes
as it won't be long before I need a new hip either. They'll get him walking on it in a matter of days, then it's a physio course.
/incidentally, when they change the hip, after they take out the original hip they throw your leg over your shoulder for better access in putting in the replacement.
Always struck me as a funny image while laying there out cold.
/trufax
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

no they dont
/real trufax
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:17, archived)

I have had one family member and a friend who have had it done
surgeon went through it with us before the procedure with the family member and stated that they would be placing the relevant leg over the chest and shoulder,
they even joked about it at the time for how funny it might look if she were awake.
The friend commented that they did the same thing with him.
Mind you, this is the Norfolk & Norwich Hospital, they might just be using 'country' techniques
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

whereas i worked in an orthopeadic theatre for the best part of 3 years.
but friend of a friend is always a more reliable news source..
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

well, I didn't know you did that,
I'm just going on what a surgeon said to us at the time, and the fact the friend backed this up trough his own op.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

if you had read the rest of the thread you would have known... :P

( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

ah. there is this small, but quite relevant point :)
ta :)
/goes to read

/seems a little odd that a surgeon would say this, and a friend would - quite seriously - agree they did the same with him though
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

to be fair
it depends on the kind of implant they use. and if your friend/family were obese or not. sometimes they do move it a little to get the fat out of the way. but its not an SOP by anymeans.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:26, archived)

ahhh, fair enough then, that's probably the reason :)
they weren't exactly obese, but they were 'big' people.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

Hang on, how old are you?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

older than you
and yet, somehow, still more fun. what does this say about yourself?
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 21 May 2009, 21:18, archived)