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I'm shitting myself here
I have a job interview, and I can't wear smart clothes (I usually stun them with a trouser suit, but she wants me in jeans and tshirt) and have to rely on London Transport to get me there. I also don't know what to say.

How're you?
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
Can't wear smart clothes?
I thought you'd just got a job at a grooming parlour?
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
Job INTERVIEW

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Pretty sure she can read....

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
Maybe she misheard the question

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Pretty sure SHE CAN READ

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
Why can't you wear smart clothes?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
It's for a porn film.
He's playing the part of the tradesman, popping round to do a bit of plumbing.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
You can't wear smart clothes?
Do you have some sort of clothes downs?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
I could understand if it was 'I can't wear glasses'

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
I'm going over to LotW for a bit
I know that if I stay here I'm going to say something horribly offensive to Quasimodo.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Oh God, I'm doing it already.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
You can't offend me
You're Wormulus
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
This is possibly the most sensible thing you've ever said.
You have summed up how I should be interpreted.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
don't mess about with a trouser suit
stun them with a taser
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
sorry, I typed that wrong
what I meant to say was, why can't you wear smart clothes?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Jeans and a shirt?
Why?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Are you applying to be a lesbian?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
He will have to take an oral exam before he gets offered the position.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
It's a dog grooming job
I assume she wants me to prove I can cope with being covered in drool, hair and water.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Just take her out with you on a Friday night...

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
Erm
I'm not a lesbian
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Not even a faux-internet one?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
Nah

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

you only need to prove you can cope with that if you want to spend time on /talk
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Dog grooming?
Just wear bin bags.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:37, archived)
Well, I think I'm going to invest in waterproofs if I get it
But I did apply a bit late, knowing my luck I'll get there and she'll have given the job away already
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:39, archived)
I'm shitting myself here
mainly down to gastroenteritis
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
Just tell them you love dogs
Really love dogs. And rub your trousers while you talk about them.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Well, I noticed they have those ridiculous dog outfits in the window
So I just have to say that I go gaga over them, I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
Rub yourself against them going 'oh fucking yeah, you naughty bitch you'
And then sit down and stare at the owner directly in the eye, grinning.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
Soiling yourself probably won't help the interview.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Try to match the tshirt and jeans to what the company are like
If they are very informal, go scruffy. If they are a stylish place, up the smartness level a bit, wear a jacket or something. They normally like to see that you've done some homework on what they are about.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Then she'll turn up and they'll go 'How did you know that's how we dress? STALKER!' and then phone the police.
Again.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
It's the one time you're expected to stalk a bit.
If you're interviewing, the first thing you notice is whether they've bothered to google the expensive website you've paid for.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:36, archived)
I DID! I DID!
Now I know they do anal gland clearing. Probably the smelliest part of dog handling.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:37, archived)
Eeewwww.
On the plus side, you can probably claim against regular showers you'll need on your tax return.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:39, archived)
Tax return? I haven't done one of them in my life

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:41, archived)
So googling the website = ok
Turning up wearing the skin of their last pet = not ok

I should write this down
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:37, archived)
In the past hour I've been cut off
and reattached to O2. I've also discovered the wonder of Double Decker Duo.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
Is that when you get two double deckers and stick them together?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:34, archived)
Then eat them

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:36, archived)
It's two Double Deckers in a pack.
For if you're feeling even fatter than normal.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:36, archived)
Oh man, you Englanders truly live the life of luxury
I shall weep into my croissant later
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:38, archived)
Is it a bigger pack?
Or the usual size cut in half?
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:39, archived)