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Fucking breaky cunts
This weekend I broke my bike and my iPod. They can both fuck off.

What have you broken lately ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
my mind is broken
I am not sure if it happened years ago and recently got worse though
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
Ouch, what did you break on your bike?
I have broken two strings on my guitar and dropped a wine glass this weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
The forks
Cunting things broke in Afan car park.

Cunty cunt cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
Ooooh 'spensive.
Are they repairable or do you need a new pair?
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
About £120 to repair
so almost pointless repairing them really when I could upgrade to better, brand new ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
I suppose.
What you thinking of replacing them with?

Did they break before or after your ride? Hope you managed to get some riding in having gone all that way.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
I'm going to replace them with cheese.
They broke in the fucking car park popping the wheel up down a 2" drop.

I rode all the way round whites level (In less than 2 hours) with broken forks.

A girl overtook me though.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
Oh dear.
I was out riding the other day, just on the road, and a guy in team GB lycra and about £3000 worth of roadbike came steaming past. I got level with him, he waved and just zoomed off effortlessly.

I later found out it was this guy en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Staff and didn't feel so bad!
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:07, archived)
Before or after your ride?
Good morning folks.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 26 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
Were the two incidents related?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
Mrs Spam
She loved it.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
DID YOU SIT ON HER ?
LOLFATROFL!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
My ipod is as dodgy as fuck.
It keeps switching itself on when I've switched it off. Also, the lock on it doesn't work so the volume goes down when it's in my pocket.

In answer to your question, boys hearts.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
It's posessed by DE DEBBIL
you must take it to church and have them talk bollocks at it.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
I think it probably says more about my taste in music to be honest

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
Not fair breaking boy's hearts!
We have feelings too you know!
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
The wheels on my little wheelie suitcase
cheap Argos shite that it was
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
A fruit bowl.
It was only 2 days after we bought it.
In fact there was a mark on it so we were going to take it back and swap it for another.
I FAIL.
EDITED to remove the QOTW style double spacing. Not sure why I did that.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
A fruit bowl costs about a tenner
I need about £300 to replace my forks and £180 to replace my iPod.

*makes light of your problems*
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
the remote for our freeview box.
means I'm hardly watching hardly any telly, which is a good thing.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
Many, many hearts....

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:59, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
it's ok, I didn't mean to hurt you...you'll find someone better...mu....pfftha...haah....hah
Ok god, who am I kidding!! course you won't you MUG! YOU'LL DIE A SPINSTER WITH BAGGY SOCKS.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
...I hope those guys get over me soon down Old Compton street...*le sigh*

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
A mug
I picked it off the rack and it slipped out of my hand and fell to the worktop and the handle shattered and a piece of ceramic got stuck in my hair. Luckily it wasn't 5cm further down otherwise it would have had my eye out.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 26 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

eye out mum
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
The changy lengthy strappy on my favourite bag
and my tummy. Bloody eccles cakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
my diet
LOLFAT!
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Tue 26 May 2009, 10:03, archived)