I have a bratwurst !
LOL DOGSCOCK !

I just saw that fucker from Masterchef in Borough Market.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

And I spent £12.50 on gay chocolate.

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Hard filling?

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

£8.50 on various truffles
the rest on a selection of chocolate coated fruits and nuts.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

I had heard you like to gobble fruits and nuts.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

No you've been misinformed.
I merely like gay sex with gay men with all cocks and bums and fists and shit.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

what makes chocolate gay?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

It's shaped like a boomerang so you have to eat it with your wrist at 90 degrees.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Rubbing it on your willy
in order to make it look like you bummed someone.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Inserting it into your anus
And then having it eaten out by Graham Norton.

Or Maffers. Virtually the same person i suppose.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Graham Norton Toadfish
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

harsh but fair.

( WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

You've managed to combine homosexuality, Maffers and food
in one thread.

Well done this manstrosity.
( WormuIus, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Hurry up and flounce
Before you implode in some sort of ultimate shitness event that physics will be at a loss to explain.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

I have to say
that I 95% like Wormulus.

If he were to be 5% less shit, I would brand him awesome and a credit to b3ta.

Currently I only actually like about 5 or so regular /talkers.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

Beat you off for a fiver sir?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Does that work?
Is that how one gets love?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Yes

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Tempting.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

I will not allow you to become the /talk cumdumpster
We've already got one of those
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Which one is it
now JV no longer comes here ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

There's a difference between hands and vaginas, Myks
I keep trying to tell you this when you buy your right one flowers and chocolates.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Pfft

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

you'll never get a nice boy if you call yourself a cumdumpster, Mykey

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

I'll give you thruppence and no more

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

You might be becoming gayer than Gonz
I'd watch it if I were you.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

I bet you'd love to watch it

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

You cant be gay if you're a virgin
you can be potentially gay. No more.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Didn't you show him your wolf's neck of a fanny over webcam?
It's your fault he's gay...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Such a nice boy.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

I think im going to have to release that video of you doing a naked freddie mercury impression over webcam

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

You seem to "happen upon" a lot of webcam footage.
A lot of webcam footage that, it strikes me, a right thinking gentleman would avoid.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I spent £7.50 on Green and Blacks chocolate.
Is that suitably gay? I hope so, I nearly fainted in the middle of Waitrose it was that expensive.
( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Put some fish paste on it
and lick it while pretending it's a fanny.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

This could be applied to 99% of situations

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Only for lezzers
blokes only lick fannies as a sort of sexual pre-emptive strike.

as in

"Well, so what if I came after 30 seconds, I just lapped away at your piss flaps for half an hour !"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

It's true, that's the sad thing.
You can't criticise someone after they've gone down on you, it's rude.
( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

And to be fair, if they've give you your jollies
then you should shut the fuck up about them having theirs.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

It's only fair.
Dear God I'm so bored I might go read a book.
( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

Fuck that
lezz yourself crosseyed
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Not so effective for a career in medicine though.
Except maybe gynae.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

something from waitrose was expensive?
*jaw drops* I hope it was nomable enough to be worth it
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

It's going to be made into chocolate fudgy lovliness bars.
With pecans. Oh yes.
( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

NOM nom nom om om

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

I have a pack of luckies
is this a late lunch thread ?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Unless you smacked him over the head with a chorizo sausage, you failed in your mission, Number 47

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Fuck that
I'dve looked like a right cunt doing that. Bullying an old man who is only about 5'8"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Was it the wee bald one?
If so that's alright, he knows his oats. The lanky one's a prick.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Yes the wee bald one
He was saying loudly "IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR LICENSE FEE IN ACTION HERE IT IS, SIX OR SEVEN PEOPLE, ALL ON AT LEAST THREE HUNDRED GRAND A YEAR STANDING ABOUT DOING NOTHING"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

When ever I try and quit smoking, as I'm trying now, the want for Franfurters goes through the roof, even more so than the cigs themselves.
I haven't given in yet though...BE.STRONG.DG!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Ummm lovely bratwurst sold by actual germans with german ketchup on it in a fresh bread roll
*drools*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I want to eat it from the other end as you like in Lady & The Tramp
maybe we might kiss!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Yes
like dogs.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Sniff my bum as I wag my tail you harsh bit of man meat!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Dude
I'm hoping this is just forum banter.

Really hoping.

You gay furry
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

now roll in some poo!

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I WOULD HAVE a double decker
but the stupid chocolate machine's being a tossrag.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

And percussive maintenance didn't provide you with chocolatey goodness?

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I booted it, then decided I don't want to be in trouble.
I've asked for my money back though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Double Decker in a bratwurst thread ?
FOOD FAIL
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

There is no meat in the machine.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

I can soon remedy this

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

You go and stick your bratty in it
and then I'll come along, pay my 50p and then... I don't know. You can leave and I'll get on with things.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

Then he gets a chocolate bar hitting him in the cock?

( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

It's more than he deserves.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Now now
you miserable cow.

I'll accuse you of being on the blob in a minute...
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

Not for AGES yet
If I'm this shittyarsed now, imagine how cunty I'm going to be then? Wunderbar. I hope you're excited.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

*fists*

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

In the nice way?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

You may interpret it thusly

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Well that's lovely of you, then.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Will I ring a and e now, so you're not stuck too long this time?

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

Make currywurst
NOW
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

The girl on that who made chocolate mud pie things with tarragon was ace
She was clearly being banged by both the hosts
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Did they high five over her back whilst "giving her the message" from both ends ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Yes
And then she farted out the spunk from her anus onto a nice salad as a dressing
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

Also
she had knobcheese on her tongue for a month
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Swallow it whole.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

which one?
the bald one with the big mouth or the other one?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

never mind, I read further up.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

The one with three tits
and a penguin bumming another penguins beak off on top of his head.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

I wasn't asking which one was your mum.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

Dont drag jmg into this

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

I like they way they both pause with the spoon infront of them and then GULSHOOM shlurp it up
They have terrible manners for foodies.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

the bald one always looks like a giant baby
sullenly staring at the food then stuffing it RIGHT in.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

remember the night I fell in the shite, I had my best suit on
dee diddly dum dee diddly dum dee diddly can't remember the words
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Magic moments
covered in ex-creeee-ta
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

I might register excr3ta.com and point it at b3ta

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

What brings you here rather than on /links these days ?
And are you still mates with A walla fa shag ba ? How is he if so ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

eh what? I'm always on here
/links is shite, I haven't posted anything there in years
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

lol I've finished all of my exams.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

Me too
during the 1980's
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

I was born in '87.
Do you have memories in black and white?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)