I'm bored.
Apparently Tetley tea contains no fat. Well..it's just leaves, isn't it?

www.tetley.co.uk/Why-tea-is-great/Tea-&-health/Tetley-is-good-for-you
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

And beer is just some grains and stuff that's been rotting for a while

( Theoban What of it, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

I like chewing mint leaves.
Does this help you?
( Bats, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

that's very helpful yes

( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

My work here is done.

( Bats, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

What's wrong with sugar free gum?

( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

It gives you AIDS
95% of all people who die of AIDS have been shown to have chewed gum at some point in their lives.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Oh no.
This is somewhat alarming.
( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

100% of non-smokers die of non-smoking.
hadn't thought of that, had you?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

100% of dead people were gestated in a womb
therefore wombs are toxic and cause death
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

I'd give you evens on this story ending up in the Express or Mail
before the year is out.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

this is very compelling!

( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

What kind of mint?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

Make like a Tetley tea and get outta here.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

Make like a banana and sod off.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

my uncle says only boring people get bored.

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

well I dealt with my boredom quickly
that has to count for something, uncle sp@m
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

I say
people to trot out trite put downs should be fed to fucking otters.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

yes you're right there.
*looks at you*
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

my dad says "it isn't things that are boring, it's people who are bored"
which i believe is virtually the same thing as what your uncle says, but more pedantically phrased.
( sleepybinky, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Hello, I've got a problem now, I've had a sudden injection of confidence and now I feel I'm overplaying it and feel guilty and terrible because I'm concerned I won't be able to manage it again
Thanks

Rick.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

Have a wank and calm down

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

hmmm
if I used my left hand I'd improve my tenouchi
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

+ if you paint your fingernails & wear a cheap gold bangle
you can pretend your mum is doing it.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Where could I procure such an injection?

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

train for 16 months.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Sounds like effort.
I'll wait another 10 years for SCEINCE to catch up.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

This isn't going to happen.
I'm reading Elephants on LSD which is a collection of bizarre and wrong experiments. Not that I needed to read a book to know that, anyway books quite good.
( BindiBaji, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

I like the pictures of spiderwebs
made by spiders on varying substances.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

They thought knowledge was stored in tissue.
So they could grow it and transplate it. They also transplated a Monkeys head onto another monkeys body. Just to see if it could be done.
( BindiBaji, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

It appears to be written in Comic Sans according to Amazon preview


Therefore, it fails
( Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

Everything will be fine, you are a very funny man.
Does that help?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

lol you can't win shiai with lols

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

OH RIGHT
so this is a haiyah sort of thing. Don't have altercations with mysterious oriental men whilst wanking in cupboards and you'll probably be alright.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

well you know I said I had a competition the week after the bash?

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Ja...

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

the first bit of news.
kendo.org.uk/

My dojo and the squad I was in is Kobudokan.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

I have a strange feeling of being proud of someone I've met twice.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

but I have a predictamente

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

And what's that?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

yay!
congrats :)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

ta.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

yeah, we did alright.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Right. So that's a good thing. HOORAY FOR GMOS.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

You can if your opponent is the one doing the lols

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Do some dramatic airpunches and
sing something from the 80s. That always helps.
( The Neville What what what, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

Beer, cola, marshmallows and heroin contain no fat too.
Therefore they must be good for you.
( Mr Gear the gay-maker, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

but
it would (if that's true) make sense to brag about marshmallowed being fat-free. you'd assume a dried leaf didn't contain fat, shirley? or am I not scientific enough :(
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Well, they actually contain 0.2% fat, but it's virtually zero for something you'd expect to be fatty.
It's fair to assume that tea is zero fat, and not just Tetley. Mind you, quite a few plant products do contain a lot of fat. Seeds especially.
( Mr Gear the gay-maker, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

thanks
that's actually helpful.
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

I'll have my Earl Grey thank you very much

( SuperMatt, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

Yorkshire tea > Tetley tea

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

Because it's from Yorkshire?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Because it tastes nicer.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

I only drink Twinings peppermint tea
all other tea scares and confuses me
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Jasmine tea is nice.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

I may have to try some
That's only a may though, if the box scares or confuses me I'll be too busy hiding under my desk.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

normal tea scares you
and Twinings peppermint doesn't?

you fucking fruitcake.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Lots of things scare and confuse me
Tea,
People,
Digital communications,
Horseless Carriages,
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

I agree with a lot of your wisdon Captain,
But I think Yorkshire tea is absolute piss. Far too bitter and utterly lacking in subtle flavours. Even Sainsbury's red label is better.
( Mr Gear the gay-maker, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

Agree to disagree

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

yea
it's grown round the corner from my house
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Yorkshire tea > 99.99% of things, ever.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

You're damn right.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Quite right.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Of course it contains no fat
At least not untill you put milk in it.

It's not as if fat is some sort of fucking poison anyway, you need fat in your diet. Just not loads of it, and you need to get out more, get some exercise you lazy fat cunts.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

I ran last night. Ran like the wind.

( Jobe, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

i agree
my point is, then, why are they bragging about dry leaves not containing something which is actually ok in moderation

MARKETING LOLS
( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

I doubt they are bragging
they are probably legally obliged to list the nutrition content

/sensible answer tuesday
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

That annoys me.

( BindiBaji, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

tea tastes like watered-down cancer
get some coffee down you

you shitcunt
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

:D

( valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)