Everybody shut up a moment. It's me, JMG.
I'm putting on some TOP TOGS as I'm going OUT with a *IRL from the ***LINE WORLD.
Who'd like to spend the next five minutes explaining how you aren't worked up at all, using smilies wherever possible.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

Oh Jammie
***LINE?
:(((((((((((((
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I'm off to a barbecue JMG.
:D
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I'm off to barbecue JMG.
*tongs*
*charcoal*
*ticket to Newcastle*
( ArthurTheRat, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

I predict a RUSTY TUSSLE!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

Hi I'm Rusty Tussle.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

and I'm Ed Winchester.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

*Audience applause*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

I'm playing a video game and it scared me :(

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I'll hold you
*holds*
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

*reciprocates*

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

*masturbates*

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

I BET YOU SCREAMED AND WET YOURSELF
WET CUT
( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

No, I just jumped and went "FUCK"

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

Oi
i said i'd hold you :(((((
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

I HAVE RECIPROCATED

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

I HAVE MASTURBATED

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

I AM SATURATED

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

CORRRR!

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

Which game?
I was playing S.T.A.L.K.E.R, frequent pant changing was needed.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Metroid Prime 3

( WHARRGARBL, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

Fuckin ace game

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

not really all that scary though

( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

Well i didnt need to change my pants

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

The section on the Valhalla made me jump.
It's incredibly claustrophobic
( WHARRGARBL, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

Too fucking right
that's a proper lay down the plastic sheeting game. I'm playing the Oblivion Lost mod for it and it's jolly good fun all round.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

I think it's the ambient music that's scary
and horrific mutants throwing themselves at you.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

F.E.A.R is creepy as well
so any game that's an acronym it seems.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

Were you playing Condemned?
Because that made me do a jump/wee recently
( The Neville What what what, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

I'm off out soon too

( jenpots, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Hahaha,
funny jokes.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

eh?
Oh! I just read it properly. I'm not off out with JMG. You couldn't pay me to date a Geordie.
( jenpots, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

Now there's a lie!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Did you pay her?
How much?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

I've been OUT already today.
I spoke to people who DON'T USE the internet. And had a pint in the sunshine. With some BOYS and MY DAD.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
Excellent work in the field.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

that sounds fun
i might make some toast later
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

TUBBYTOAST!!!

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

after you've had the op

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6222538
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

ah, i have no bread

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:00, archived)

mince in bags and ham in tins
butchers' sausages on a string
meat's the best thing since sliced bread
one thing to try before you're dead, it's

meat on toast
meat on toast
don't give me no sunday roast
i just wanna watch rentaghost
while i eat my meat on toast

lightly grilled fresh scottish salmon
thinly sliced and salted gammon
granary and harvest grain
try a croissant, it's insane!

meat on toast
meat on toast
don't give me no sunday roast
i just wanna watch rentaghost
while i eat my meat on toast
( spacefish bong!, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

I've just spent several hours
Taking the contents out of two PC cases in order to swap them over. Annoyingly, the smaller case has a tiny PSU which isn't compatible with the other motherboard, and the other PSU wont fit in the tiny case so it was all for nothing.

So I put everything back where it was, but haven't connected up the four extra fans, so it's much quieter now.
( CowJam, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

i've got cheese on toast
mmm
( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

JMG, surely telling people on the INTERNET that you have a girlfriend, offline
invalidates her existence and puts you back at square one?
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

you great big dolescum balding trust-fund virgin!

( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

LOL!11!!

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

I never said I had a girlfriend, Moohalaa.
*Taps head*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

a-ah, now Jammy, this is the Internet.
Girls do not frequent this place.

Under Internet Legislation put forward by Piston Broke in 1993, any 'girl' mentioned offline means you're automatically shagging them.

This was used to great effect by Mr Broke in the 1994-7 Virgin wars at Games Workshop, where by standing near women,
talking about it online, his interego proved he had been positively swimming in poon.

You dole virgin bald.
( moohalaa, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

YOU FLIMSY WRISTED QUEEN!
An excellent post, there.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

I have been out all day
taking my son and his mate swimming.

I have just got home. My day has consisted of trying to swim lengths whilst avoiding inflatables and flying children.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

The offline world is vastly overrated
Nature is the shittest part of it. I'm supposed to believe that rolling valleys and birdsong are great enjoyable entertainment. I just don't see it. Where are the end of level bosses? Why don't I get cool noises and fluorescent lights when I level up? Why can't my bag contain an infinite number of potions? What a load of rubbish...
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)

I cancelled my ***line plans as my guts cannot be trusted at the moment :(

( broadsword, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

Too much
UTBNB eh?

say no more
/taps nose
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

I'm off in an hour or so,
so yeah, me, offline
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)

Ive been in bed since yesterday afternoon
alone
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

That's what you get for drinking petrol.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

I didn't drink it
I just inhaled massive quantities of it
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:21, archived)

Bloody hell, how did you manage that?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

replacing perished fuel hoses on the car
working exposed (and with the stuff gushing onto my hands over and over again) for two hours. I'm an idiot.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:34, archived)

I had a dream last night that
I was a JMG and I could fly and leap tall buildings. But then I awoke, and realised I wasn't a JMG, which saddened me.


colon, closing parenthesis
( The Neville What what what, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

I'm a lot like Mr Sandman.
Except I deliver punches to the faces of the fat and sleeping.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)

bingo
gaz now, times running out
( mongychops, Sat 13 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)