There is barely a car in the fucking world
that needs 255s on the front. You wouldn't be able to the turn the steering wheel

therefore, I claim internet autismistruth, ONLINE.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

Also by the looks of things his Jag has got 5 WHEELS!!!!
FUCKING SMELL SOME PANT SMOKE I DO!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

spare wheel as well you numpty

( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

I thought those jags had the narrow space saver wheels.

( turb0t, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)

it came with one of those reinflate cans
fucking useless if you damage the tyre. anyway I always sell the space savers on fleabay and get a full size wheel.
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)

Actually, the concept of a space saver spare wheel is shit.
Lets assume you get a puncture, and you take out your space saver wheel from your tiny boot, (which gives you the best use of your boot space). But where the fuck are you supposed to put your full sized wheel and tyre that has now got a puncture ?
Assuming also, that you have a boot full of shopping/groceries/luggage, etc...
( turb0t, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

*has full size spare*
YEAH! I am the SEX.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

yes
hence why I always buy a full size wheel (the jag has room for it in the boot anyway)
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

...........don't ruin my joke by being serious please.
pleasedrivethrutocollectionwindowpleeeease
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

I called you a numpty
if I was serious I would call you a cunt.

cunt

no offence

forum banter

;-)
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

Everyone loves cunts. They are awesome.

I think your car has got a robotic hand that comes out and wanks you off as you drive and listen to a slighty detuned radio 2 whilst checking the FTSE 100 on your 12 blackberry storms, the scent of your magic tree hanging from your indicator is "PPHNNEEAAARR!: the scent of fox hunting"
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

how very dare you!
I never listen to radio 2

and I don't own a blackberry
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:24, archived)

My magic tree scent is "Damp Exotic Musk and Old Prawn Cocktail Crisp Packet"

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

Mine is "Rich Mahogany", with a faint odour of Sex Panther colone.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

I dont have one
I love the smell of leather on leather...

oh.. erm... yes.

pine.

yes, thats it pine.
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

For me, listening to car bores is like listening to two cooks arguing over who
has the faster oven. Well, except the oven conversation might be more interesting.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

actually
I'm going to have to do an admission of wrongness, ONLINE

an XJR on 19" wheels does use 255s front and rear.

Fucking hell though, that's idiotic. why? I can see why rear 255s might be justified, but fronts? stupid. You can happily fit 235s though, you might want to consider that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)

I bet my oven is faster than your oven.

( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

I bet it's fucking not.
anyway, which one? I have TWO OVENS. and FIVE RINGS ON MY HOB.

this makes my penis bigger, right?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

NO WAI.

( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

LIKE, WAI.
Hob cat is checkin ur hobz.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

My parents got a new cooker. It's got
three ovens and six hobs, two of which have got a twin gas rings. The ovens go from 0-60° in 114s and have a rear spoiler (splash plate) and single 225mm bore four speed exhaust system.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

You can't ride on your parent's glory, failboy.
What have YOU got? A single camping gaz burner? Yes, we know all about you and your single ring.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

1200 matches sellotaped together

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

I've got a classic four ring gas powered variable speed hob with a bespoke worktop arrangement,
dual control heating element oven with original buff finish paint. The exhaust has the traditional twin speed and single lighting system. Pre 1993 so there is no road tax, and it sails its service every year. They don't build them like that any more.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

i like having 5 rings on my hob.
The Mrs was totally against it. but I like cooking with my WOK.
I also bought a stainless steel hob, and the Mrs was totally against that as well, because stainless steel is hard to clean.
( turb0t, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

Did you go for the 386 model with the ayrodynamic doors?
I was going to, but my budget couldn't extend that far, so I got the 376 but plumetted for the Advance Thermodynamic Knobs.

In retrorespect, I should have tried them in the shop, because my hands just can't take that much tourque.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

hahaha totally I mean 255s instead of 235s hahaha could you imagine 245s?!?!? ahahahah I've got no idea what we're talking about hahah

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:18, archived)

tyre width in mm, DG.
It's basically just a penis subsitute.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:18, archived)

So really, we should all fit racing cycle tyres.
30mm wide, BUT 29 inches diameter! YEAH BABY!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

It's all about the girth, baby.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

You don't need to tell me.
205 wide on 16 rims. SEXY.

*oils up*
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

aaah gotcha :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

My oven goes up to gas mark 11.

( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

The only reason grrrmachine isn't posting now is because his hands are busy,
he probably has some jumpleads on his nips too.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

I have no idea why
possibly as its the XJR and not the standard motor
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)