london is rubbish
discuss
( blinder back for good, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:36, archived)

S'better than Paris
Nice place to spend a weekend, shit place to live or work.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Paris is the shittest place in all the world
Had the unfortunate pleasure of being in Charles De Gaulle airport on Friday.

Dirty, stinking, disorganised, toilet of a place.
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Most overrated city in Europe
and it's full of dog poo.

Nice tower though.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

That isn't dog poo
Its probably man poo
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

They dont have men in France
Just effete, chain smoking wankers
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

Frog poo

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

I'll be buggered
if I go to gay pari
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:30, archived)

On a lighter note
Was returning the rental car, and I jumped in front of this Merkin couple who were farting about unpacking luggage.

The guy says to his wife, "Thats typical of these French ignorant bastards. Just jump in front of everyone not giving a damn about manners. What a fucking impolite clown"

So I dont say a word, until I hear him say to his wife, "How do we get to Terminal 2B". I, calm as you like, say "You follow that underpass over there and go up the stairs"

His face was a picture.
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

ha!
Bon!
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

You rude harlequin!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

meh
i've been living here for six years and am thoroughly sick of it
( blinder back for good, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

It's a shit place to live
and it's expensive.

What are you some sort of masochist ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

somedays i think that i might be
:(

or i'm a whore for cash
( blinder back for good, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

*hands over two bob*
*fists*

*feels dirty*

*repents*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

you are a catholic
AICM lifetime of guilt and grubbiness.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

n a
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:51, archived)

*reads through message*
*finds "n"*
*replaces*
*guffaws*
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

I didnt get it at all
*shrugs*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

repents repeats
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

Ah
I was changing the first "n"

In "Hands"

Which just made me sound all Geordie.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:01, archived)

This
although I've never been to Paris.
( Newington, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

It's dirty, smelly and unfriendly.
Other than that, it's OK.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

Better than oop narth
:)
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Good point

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

OI!
Its nice up here. Plenty of sheep.
(Elfroid How Long Have We Had These?, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:43, archived)

Our sheep are prettier than yours.
Wherever you're from.
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

Northerners bum sheep
Londoners bum Northerners who come to London in the mistaken belief they can get a job & a flat.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:47, archived)

Shop keepers in the north are nice.
They ask after your kids and wife.
And when you've had
A good chin wag
They pop your provisions in a bag.

/Shuttleworths
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

my firm once sent me to london to give a course
it was entitled:

"how to say thank you and be friendly, you miserable southern twats". they couldn't grasp the concept at all.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

Scottish bus driver was rude to me today
for asking how much a day ticket was.
( Newington, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:48, archived)

You're lucky you weren't in London.
He'd have shot you in the face.

Seriously, I know it's not the most wonderful job in the world, but is an application requirement that every London busdriver has to a psychotically rude, unhelpful jobsworth? I've had a driver turn me away because he couldn't (or wouldn't) change a fiver. Twat.
Every so often you get one who's helpful or friendly or even just basically polite and you almost faint.
Sorry, rant over.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

in birmingham
it's exact change only. So if you've only got a fiver then you either get no change or don't get on.

edit: actually they probably wouldn't take a fiver, coinage only.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:56, archived)

so the rationale is:
english sterling but no change: no entry
Correct change and fucking big bomb: climb aboard
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

On most routes in London you have to buy the ticket before you get on.
Exact money only, of course.
Until a couple of years ago it was 70p for a journey within or without Zone 1, 1 quid if you entered or left Zone 1. Then they had this big advertising campaign saying 'London is now a one-fare city!', as if they were making it easier for you. Except thet just made ALL journeys 1 quid.
And now it's a quid and 20p.

I think the lesson we can learn from this is that buses are shit.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:00, archived)

Buses in London are phenomenally shit
The tube is much more likely to get you killed quicker.

Actually I find walking is the best way to get anywhere less than 5 miles away in London.

There's always destitutes to laugh at on your way.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:03, archived)

hang on...
i'm talking north of england. i can't explain those drunken fuckers.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

Common mistake there
Not all Southerners are Londoners.

London is not the entire south of England.

There are people in Cornwall and Dorset who are just as shit thick and inbred and prone to sheep molestation as any Northerner.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:50, archived)

'When I'm travelling down to London, I stop off at Birmingham to get used to less friendly people.'
/Mrs. Merton
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:53, archived)

Ooh, and the Isle of Wight!
*puffs out chest proudly*
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:54, archived)

A gene pool shallower
than Paris Hilton
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

Watch it,
or I'll get Uncle Dad to beat you up.
Those extra fingers give him a hell of a right hook.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:57, archived)

right hook good time when masturbating
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:59, archived)

So my gripe
I regularly fly through Heathrow and I think I can count on one hand how many people who work there are actually English. (and when I mean English, I'm talking about who can speak English and have been born in England)
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:55, archived)

Would you want to work in Middlesex
for shit money ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:58, archived)

Working in a county that doesn't even exist?
Yeah, that would suck.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:02, archived)

What happened to it then ?
Al Qaeda ?

No, they'd only be killing their own if they targeted anywhere around Heathrow
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 16:06, archived)

In your fucking dreams!
;)
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

London = Full of Northerners
North = Not full of Londoners
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

London = full of everyone.
Based on the variety of folk who come to live there, it must be the best place in the world.*


*I don't actually think this, but I do quite like the place nonetheless.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

You forgot expensive

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:41, archived)

Good point.

( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

Yeah
But you can make the phrase "loon do" out of the name.
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:37, archived)

you should do something about it,

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Discus is rubbish


_London
( The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:38, archived)

Personally, I prefer the shotput....

Mmmm.... German Shotputters...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

ooh
controversial
( Sexy Picard 2000, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:39, archived)

Why controversial?
Its a fairly valid point
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:42, archived)

You are a terrorist bomber
And I claim 20p back when I purchase a 200g jar of Nescafe just present this voucher to the cashier...
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:40, archived)

are you saying that al-queda
are just trying to make a statement about how rubbish london is?

*re-evaluates everything that he's heard or seen in the last 4 years*
( blinder back for good, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:46, archived)

Yes.
They are simply misunderstood chaps who are highly sensitive to issues of aesthetics particularly in architechture and inner city planning.
They were just trying to 're-model' things to stop their eyes hurting.
Unfortunately, they got a bit heavy handed.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:49, archived)

I don't really see the attraction of living there
far too busy.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:44, archived)

Pfft!
You said "far t"
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:45, archived)

vehr ist
der krunkenluff?!
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 11 Jul 2005, 15:57, archived)