Fuck you, you fucks.
Tonight I set up a clinic, to provide healthcare for dolescum.
What the fuck did you people achieve, today?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:31, archived)

made beans on toast
smoked a pipe
played guitar lots
planned my work day tomorrow
( moohalaa, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:32, archived)

Fuck you, I win.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

Cleaned up
and felt like slightly healthier dolescum.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

Well done, sir.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:37, archived)

I bitched, moaned and whined.
I also made a sandwich.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

That's not bad, for a racist.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:37, archived)

Working stupidly late to earn more money for my bosses
to attempt to achieve and then fail to meet a stupidly unrealistic deadline.
( FoldsFive, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

About ten years ago I'd have used words like "alienation" in this situation.
Still though,
WELL DONE.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:34, archived)

Nothing.
My life is a hollow sham.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

WRONG

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:38, archived)

I prefer the ones with a fondant centre

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:39, archived)

I don't believe you
prove it.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

YOU ARE NOT A REAL DOCTOR.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:33, archived)

That's correct.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:35, archived)

Booked two job interviews
Got my stolen bike back
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:34, archived)

You are new, and a girl.
If I was less drunk I'd try to seduce you.
Consider yourself seduced.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:36, archived)

Interesting seduction technique
I've had better.
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:37, archived)

Don't knock it.
It's already worked.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:39, archived)

You're drunk
You just think it worked. Tomorrow you will wake up on your own and think back to what happened and then cry yourself back to sleep with the realisation that you need to think about new seduction techniques but you just can't manage to summon the brain power to be able to do so :P
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

I may be drunk;
but tomorrow you'll be frigging yourself to the point of dehydration, wishing you could meet me.
Ask Wicca'd or Esme, it's a common problem round here.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)

Putting this on THE LIST

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)

I thought that was a flounce list.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:45, archived)

General failures work well.
Cheers.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:45, archived)

I please EVERYBODY.
Even through my ALLEGED failures.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:47, archived)

This is making it better.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:48, archived)

Is it, though? Is it really?
It probably is.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:49, archived)

I think it is pretty obvious to everyone
That this is no "alleged" failure. It is, most definitely, an actual failure.
If I was a school teacher writing your report I would have to use the phrase "must try harder"
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:50, archived)

Posh people don't get jobs as school teachers, though.
They don't need low income jobs.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:52, archived)

Which is why I have used the phrase "If I was a school teacher"

( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:53, archived)

And if you were proper posh
you'd have said "If I were a school teacher."
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:54, archived)

Dear Sir,
Please accept my profuse apologies for the incorrect formation of my sentence. Indeed, you are correct in your assertion that I should have used the word "were" instead of "was".

However, it has reached such an hour in the eve that I no longer concern myself with such trivial matters. Had you caught me earlier in the day I may not have made such a grave grammatical error.

Sincerest apologies, once again.
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:58, archived)

You are clearly no posher than Victoria Beckham.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:59, archived)

She knows Leeds
therefore she has been to Leeds
therefore she is not really posh.
QED.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:55, archived)

There is a reason why my sig is "apparently"

( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:58, archived)

I often get told I talk posh
load of bollocks, if you ask me.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 0:02, archived)

I am starting a new term of Yummy Mummies
to help fat people learn to step away from the pies.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:34, archived)

You vicious cow!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:37, archived)

Not vicious, viscous.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:38, archived)

LAEVE ME ALONE!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:40, archived)

Not viscous, couscous

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:40, archived)

I scored, frankly, too many goals.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:34, archived)

+own

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:37, archived)

Fuck all.
Fuck. All.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:35, archived)

*applause*

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:36, archived)

Day one of a diet
Doing exceptionally well; the low GI diet works to stop you feeling hungry
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:38, archived)

Day two of diet.
Ate cake.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:39, archived)

FAT

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:39, archived)

My brother did that
He lost 4 stone in as many months
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:39, archived)

My mate did one
lost SEVENTEEN STONE IN A DAY!
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

Seventeen stone... IN A DAY???
Love it!
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)

YEP
/peter kay
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:45, archived)

He's kept it off for about a year too

( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:42, archived)

The low GI diet can last a lifetime though
EDIT: OOOOh, I thought you meant he HAD kept it off for a year
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:44, archived)

It's fucking easy
I've never eaten an American soldier, and I don't intend to start now.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:46, archived)

STEP AWAY FROM THE PIE

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:42, archived)

Actuually, I turned down profiteroles and prawn toast today
I'm dead proud
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:50, archived)

dead proud fat and crying
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:57, archived)

I saved millions of people across this land from losing their electricty supply.
I'm great me.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:39, archived)

I got an interview for next Monday
and had my 12th day of not smoking.
Then I made nice food.

signed wynoh aged 7 and a half
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:39, archived)

I completely failed at the not smoking.
*lights up*
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:40, archived)

It's remarkably easy
when you have no money to buy cigarettes.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:42, archived)

Well played on the non-smoking

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:41, archived)

Cheers
I got free nicotine patches on the NHS, so it's largely down to them.

I'm still drinking like a bastard, though. One habit at a time.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:44, archived)

I may be forced into not smoking
By having an empty bank account. I keep spending money on shite.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)

I nearly gave up because of this
But then my parents went on holiday and brought back duty frees.
I stole them and am currently smoking them
( Posh Girl apparently, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:46, archived)

Blergh
My mum has just given up smoking after 32 years, I'm well proud of her. My fella can't keep me up in smokes, and his parents disapprove of smoking anyway, one of them being a GP.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:52, archived)

Makes a hell of a difference
the choice between smoking and eating is quite a clear one.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:47, archived)

Precisely
And by the time I'd rooted through the supermarket making sure I'd got x rice and y foods, it was slightly more expensive. I don't mind, though.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:49, archived)

I bought a lovely new dress and made some tuiles.
And didn't cry.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:43, archived)

PROPER ORDER.
We can't have a European President in tears.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:44, archived)

20 miles of cycling, 6 (nautical) miles of sea kayaking
and I just had to shoo a small bat out of the house and into the garden (I've no idea how it ended up in here, but it was very cute).
( custard, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:47, archived)

All bats are cute.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:48, archived)

Of course
they are
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:52, archived)

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:56, archived)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH.

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:57, archived)

Made a Moussaka
that didn't taste like it had already been eaten. Although it did look like it had.
(Giblington-Smythe, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:48, archived)

That's a more or less success.
Have half a thumb up.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:52, archived)

if there are more than one
does that make them 'dolesca'?

I proved a point at work using a spectrum analyser. They might choose to argue with me but no one argues with Rohde and Schwartz.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:57, archived)