I really need a poo
but I've already done 3 today.

Well, been 3 times, not just 3 poos, 3 times I've been and done multiple logs. Or possibly they were one big log that broke in two, but anyway.

I need to go again but as I've already done several, do you think my continued use of toilet paper is going to hasten environmental armageddon ?

Or should I just forget about it all and have a poo ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:11, archived)

Go for a swim in the sea and poo there.
The water will clean your bum without needing paper.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:13, archived)

Unless it's a really sticky one.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:14, archived)

No worries
little fish will come and peck away at the residue.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:16, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/celebrities/post537566
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:34, archived)

YEAH!
WAY TO STICK IT TO THAT SMALL OLDER-THAN-MIDDLE-AGED MAN.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:42, archived)

5'4 and 20 stone, maybe

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:43, archived)

Is it just me...
..or does anyone else find all the sweaty-handed replies to these a mite depressing?

www.b3ta.com/questions/publicsex/post411050
www.b3ta.com/questions/darkness/post491844
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:46, archived)

Worst of the lot.
www.b3ta.com/questions/publicsex/post411135

He's basically saying, I enjoyed that so much I'm going to wank over it. Is that acceptable? Really?
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:49, archived)

Oh right...
www.b3ta.com/questions/darkness/post491867

He's a deviant.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:49, archived)

That's painful reading.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)

Shut it you dwarf cunt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:46, archived)

I feel a meme coming on

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:53, archived)

I think we should be able to use this on anyone shorter than ourselves :D

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:54, archived)

Most people are shorter than me
I'm six foot four and twenty stone.

Like James Cordon only taller.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:57, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/filth/post674994
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 18:09, archived)

Yeah
But if you were a cunt dwarf would you pick on a great big tall fat c
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:53, archived)

It depends what car he drives.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 17:03, archived)

What if he drives a big gay pink Suzuki Jeep

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 17:07, archived)

I'd fuck his shit up.
Right into his colon and maybe even his small intestines.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 17:19, archived)

I dunno man, he's 6'4" and 20 stone. You should be careful.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 25 Mar 2010, 18:13, archived)

AWE-MOTHERFUCKING-SOME

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:14, archived)

I'm always a bit loathed to a have a shit straight after I've showered.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:14, archived)

I feel exactly the same way.
I had a shower about 2 hours ago and I'd rather not de-clean my bottom so soon.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:15, archived)

but if you've moisturised thoroughly after your shower
it'll slide right out.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:30, archived)

or when you've just cleaned the bathroom

(likeajackhammer, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:15, archived)

I'd like to hear what JackAction has to say on the matter

(likeajackhammer, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:14, archived)

I'd like £200,000

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:15, archived)

i'M NAKED

(__, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:15, archived)

I bet you just look like a fucking massive chin when you're naked.

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:15, archived)

my nipples are erect for you

(__, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:18, archived)

So
a Fucking massive chin with pimples ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:18, archived)

oops, made a cunt of that

(__, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:15, archived)

by pushing your cheeks together and sticking your tongue out?

( moohalaa, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:23, archived)

anything i say into a fat face joke

(__, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:24, archived)

anything i say into a fat face joke
+ Friz has a
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:45, archived)

Register 1man1cup and go for it

( Bob Todd whee, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:17, archived)

That would get you moist

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:18, archived)

pull the poo out with a pair of pliers

( Lightguy hail satan, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:23, archived)

Swallow a couple of ferrets
and they will eat the poo.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:25, archived)

then lure them out again with a pair of yorkshiremen's trousers

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:28, archived)

Shit!
The trailer for Scott Pilgrim looks sweet!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:49, archived)

you're on the mark there
thanks for bringing it to my attention
( spacefish bong!, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 17:25, archived)

Yeah?
well I just did a sick in the bathroom. Feeling slightly better now.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 17:07, archived)

that's a lot of poos
are you sure it's not the same poo, jumping back up your bottom when you're not looking?
( spacefish bong!, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 17:38, archived)

you are much more important to society than the environment
feel free to built a fort out of toilet roll and frolic in it. The environment will understand.
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 17:44, archived)