Word up, mother-bitches
I'm driving down to Ireland over the Easter to call in on Father Ted...

What are you doing to waste the glorious time off?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:25, archived)

being visited, visiting family, being visited, maybe visiting friends.
staying local for at least 9 days of the next 11.
( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:26, archived)

...9...11
IT'S A CLUE! BINKY TERRORISM CONSPIRACY WHORE.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:36, archived)

IM NOT A WHORE

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:36, archived)

I MADE THIS LAST NIGHT
MIGHT BE NSFW - NAKED PEOPLE IN A MEDICAL CONTEXT OF ALL HUMAN ANATOMY AND THAT
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:38, archived)

I breasted at this.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:38, archived)

I was VERY pleased with myself, I can tell you.
WIFE didn't seem to like it though.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:42, archived)

But it's so simple and silly and childish and makes me snigger.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:43, archived)

Yes.
Yes yes yes. I'm ace. I agree.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:43, archived)

Your wife sounds like a right cunt
Tell her to fuck off
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:47, archived)

To be fair, I think the nudity caused her sensitive eyes to bleed.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:52, archived)

at home are you burkhamonkey?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:55, archived)

Hidenudeinthecupboardsmonkey

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:58, archived)

...Length...

( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:48, archived)

Dublar, where the fuck is Goatworrier today?
The cunt better be dead. It's the only acceptable excuse for abandoning me like this.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:20, archived)

Some A&E somewhere no doubt, with some foreign object stuck no doubt, in a very sensitive place no doubt, completely accidentally no doubt.
Dirty fucking cunt more like it.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:25, archived)

DIRTY. FUCKING. CUNT.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:26, archived)

It looks like he's got a pumped fanny for a nob.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:49, archived)

Innit tho.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:59, archived)

Imma clickin dis.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:06, archived)

It's probably the best thing on the internet ever.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:07, archived)

I'd just like to say Balders, that in the wake of F***'s Internet Retirement, Adam going to his natural home on /offtopic and Mortal Wombat stropping off to /links..
..you appear to be much less shit. Is this because you're not tussling for attention for with three other shitcunts?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:09, archived)

Ah now hang on a moment there AB,
Frisbee Adam is no longer a part of this site. Check his profile.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:13, archived)

Fucking hell, BD, there's just whorsepower and Sickrik left standing in the shitcunt community now.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:19, archived)

Pass me the ban hammer.
That's all I ask.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:25, archived)

THRE CAN BE ONLY ONE

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:28, archived)

I'd noticed this about myself too.
I'm not sure, Badgeradgeradger. Perhaps. It's one of the explanations I came up with myself, more or less. The site seems better generally and perhaps it is a reaction to that.

Another possibility is that I am doing something good away from b3ta at the moment. Something I want to do and is creative and I am enjoying. Perhaps the positive effect this is having on my self-esteem and general enjoyment of life means I am less interested in ruining things for everyone else.

A further explanation may be that it is just my usual slow swing between various mental states being in a better place right now. This has certainly happened repeatedly in the past, you will no doubt recall.

All in all, I can't be certain. Whatever the explanation, I think we should just be grateful and try not to dwell on the inevitable downward spiral in the next six months.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:21, archived)

I might walk up a big hill in scotland or maybe fly something
or maybe go for a waddle in the sea
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:26, archived)

Will you be around Dublin at all at all and begorah?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:26, archived)

leprachauns?

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:27, archived)

No thanks, I've just eaten.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:28, archived)

probably not...
mostly the west/south-west
(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:29, archived)

Oh, so you're the kind of prick who likes great scenery and reasonably priced alcohol?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:31, archived)

sorry...
it's a curse
(likeajackhammer, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:40, archived)

Get yourself down to Dublin
the weekend of 27th May. I'm gonna be there.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:32, archived)

So will I. And so will Mrs Preference.
And so forth.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:32, archived)

Birthday, innit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:27, archived)

So bugger all.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:27, archived)

Oh, that's a lie actually.
I'm off out tomorrow night for a meal with some friends to celebrate the fact that two of them haven't got sick of the sight of each other after 5 years.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:32, archived)

That's quite an achievement.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:33, archived)

I for one am quite impressed.
They've forbidden me from pulling any of their mates for some reason, sad times.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:35, archived)

Unfair!
Is it for your sake or theirs?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:41, archived)

I'm not entirely sure, but I think they probably just don't want a repeat of last time.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:45, archived)

is it really, why?

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:36, archived)

They're my age.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:36, archived)

i did a 10 year relationship from 17-27 and that basically ended when we WEREn't seeing enuogh of each other.
and my sis has done maybe 6 years now i think with her boyfriend...

but i don't know how old you are
( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:41, archived)

I'm 24 on Sunday.
I don't know anybody my age who has been with the same person since they were 19. The best I've managed was 3 years, but that's because I'm an intolerable cunt of the highest order.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:42, archived)

yeh you do, you know that pair you're going for dinner with.
WOOHOO.
( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:49, archived)

OH YEAH LOL.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:51, archived)

Should have shown him a bit more of you.
Like your bumhole or summat.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:50, archived)

nooo not my secret garden

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:50, archived)

I've seen it.
It needs a good strimming.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:51, archived)

i want green hair.
like a sexy lawn.

with ants.
( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:10, archived)

Are we still talking about your ladygarden?
Ants in your pants
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:16, archived)

5 years is quite a long time is all

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:39, archived)

grats.

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:28, archived)

I'm sorry BraynDedd
I took a step back and realised that I was being shitty earlier.
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:30, archived)

realised that I was being shitty caught a frisbee
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:31, archived)

Take a couple more until you can't reach your keyboard.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:31, archived)

Pffft!

( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:46, archived)

did you get your lunch yet?

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:31, archived)

Not yet
I'm finishing this letter.
I am, however, thinking about getting the ban on here. BraynDedd's right, I'm doing myself no favours being on here.
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:32, archived)

open notepad
mash keys
copy to clipboard
reset b3ta password
:P
( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:35, archived)

Just ask for your account to be deleted as getting banned involves you posting more.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:35, archived)

Clickin dis.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:36, archived)

on here alive
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:48, archived)

You'll only be back again
"Surprise you guys I know you all missed me that's why I'm back"
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:52, archived)

I agree, you are a pathetic cunt.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:39, archived)

One for the list?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:41, archived)

I may have screenshotted his outburst earlier before the edit...

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:47, archived)

Wonderful.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:49, archived)

Bye Frisbee
Hope all goes well.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 19:18, archived)

I HOPE IT'S YOUR LAST YOU FAT GREASY PRICK

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:39, archived)

LAST YOU +IN MY POOPIPE
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:40, archived)

Best birthday present ever.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:44, archived)

Going to Liverpool
to see me mum, Peter Kay, get chocolate eggs and have a birthday.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:29, archived)

Unusually for me I have three days off from Sunday
I will be playing host to an esteemed colleague and his fragrant missus with a chilli based blow out on Sunday. There will be japes.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:29, archived)

I am working all of these days
WOO YEAH
( Theoban What of it, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:30, archived)

Are you ever not at work?
You always seem to be at work. Why is this?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:31, archived)

Nah I just work Thursday - Sunday
So I'm working your normal weekend an ting
( Theoban What of it, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:34, archived)

Except this week I'm in on Monday too
Woooooooooo
( Theoban What of it, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:34, archived)

Right I'm off to teach some people about Advanced Networking
ENJOY YOUR AFTERNOON B3TA
( Theoban What of it, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:36, archived)

Eating, drinking and being merry.
merry pissed.

I have three long weekends in a row, motherfucker.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:31, archived)

4 day week, 3 day week, 1 day week, 0 day week.
Gonna be a decent month, especially as the 4day one is almost over.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:48, archived)

YAY

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:51, archived)

Me and my mum are going to a sushi resturant for lunch tomorrow.
It's an exciting new adventure for us.
Any tips?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:32, archived)

Soy and LOTS of wasabi
for dipping and get some Spider rolls.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:48, archived)

wildota

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:02, archived)

Things to try
- Tempora Prawns
- Pork Katsu
- Soft Shell Crab Tempora
- Chicken Yakitori
- Anything with 'flying fish roe'
- Teryakki Sauce
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:26, archived)

gonzo he's going to a sushi restaurant, let him try some sushi

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:28, archived)

Of course, I'm just saying the sort of dishes that aren't sushi that he can try.
I mean, aside the shapes, what sushi you're getting is ovbouse what it is you're having, these are nice things that are not so blatent to order at a japanese place.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:34, archived)

I missed out Prawn Goyza if they do that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:34, archived)

Cheers, bloke.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:43, archived)

Hey yeah hey yeah!
You linked to a guide to sushi etiquette that was Quite good before. Do you still have the link? I've googled but the results I get aren't as good.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:40, archived)

It wasn't me I'm afraid.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:56, archived)

dammitall

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:04, archived)

Probably learning.
And playing games, and soaking up t'sun. I've got a whole week off, FUCK YEAH.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:33, archived)

Couple cricket matches, some hill run charity thing for Shelterbox that I've been entered into, beach and BBQs.
Went to Longleat on Monday as well which was great. I do like Easter when it's sunny.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:33, archived)

I'm going to play on my xbox and read books. I might go down to the beach one day. We'll see.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:51, archived)

Trying not to spend money.
Gaming, lounging, gardening, housing, spending time with my lovely lovely wife, that sort of thing.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:51, archived)

Out drinking with old friends on Friday
rest of the time spent outdoors at the flying field.
( M o D, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:51, archived)

GOING TO SEE A BINKY
then to Brighton after :)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:57, archived)

I didn't even WANT to be invited, so go fuck yourselves.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:03, archived)

Margate is much better to visit.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:10, archived)

ARE YOU STAYING OVER PLEASE DO
WHAT DO YOU EAT? I HEAR IT'S MOSTLY CREAM TEAS
( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:10, archived)

YES I THINK SO
I eat anything. I like cream teas and sandwiches and fish and chips on the beach :3 Are your chickens laying yet?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:16, archived)

omg we got the hens (3 of them) on saturday, sunday 2 eggs, monday 2 eggs, tuesday am 2/pm 1, wednesday am2/pm1, today one so far

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:20, archived)

The thing to do right is make the chickens line up then stand in front of the smashing their eggs and saying "you stupid fucking hens" over and over.
Demoralise the fuckers; let them know who's boss.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)

we ate 2 and gave 6 away so that means we have 3 in stock.

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)

hurray! :D
chickens love sunny weather, lots of eggs.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:22, archived)

now i have to work stuff out about grit and lousing and disinfectant.

( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:29, archived)

A handful of grit a day for 3 chickens should be fine in with their feed
Lousing should not be necessary if the coop is primed, but keep an eye on them pecking themselves a lot. We get bird feeder disinfectant from Pets at Home to clean the coop out with, but soapy water is fine if you leave it to dry for a bit.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:45, archived)

i need to buy grit, currently they are scoffing everything in sight in the garden, and i need to buy pet disinfectant tooooooooooooooo
also i need wood primer to repaint the garden bench :(
( sleepybinky, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:48, archived)

our are in the coop most of the time, otherwise they'd eat everything

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:50, archived)

we learnt not to let them perch on windowledges

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:55, archived)

Didn't you hear? They've called Easter off this year
they found the body
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 13:59, archived)

Down in London
and visiting the zoo on Easter Sunday
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:52, archived)

I'm going to London and then to see somebody in Ely.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 16:51, archived)