Whooooooooooooop! CLANG! YEE HAW!
here is baldmonkey
with nothing to say.
is he a mod yet?
no. not today.

*tap dances*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:12, archived)

How do you know if you're a mod or not?
Try and ban me, maybe it'll work
( Theoban What of it, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:13, archived)

Izzy wizzy let's get busy!
BANNIOSSA!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:18, archived)

It worked!
Fuck me, you're a mod at last
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:19, archived)

Shit.
How do I unban him?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)

Just say !ysub teg s'tel yzziw yzzI

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

HELLO

( Theoban What of it, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

1. "I am going to ban you Theoban."
2. *baldmonkey waves his magic wand at theoban*
3. *theoban vomits*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:28, archived)

That's actually what just happened too

( Theoban What of it, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:29, archived)

piff paff
POOF!


you're a poof
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)

D, D+R, R, B
HADOUK-BAN
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:20, archived)

DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
BANMAN
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtban

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

Hello baldmonkey
Why the long face?
I was second-to-last in a three-legged race
I fell into a trifle, that wasn't much fun
And my offer of sex was turned down by your mum

Never mind baldmonkey
you must stay chipper
after today, could tomorrow be shitter?
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)

TODAY: chinese food and fun times
TOMORROW: car tyres and hen night.

I THINK SO.
( sleepybinky, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:22, archived)

:( oh dear
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:23, archived)

SUNDAY: hangover and babysitting :(

( sleepybinky, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

blimey, hen nights work fast these days
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

My friend was supposed
to be coming to visit today but her little girl has chicken pox :( I have a half day so I am getting a haircut and doing baking for tomorrow. I am going Oop North tomorrow.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

i am very jealous of haircut and baking and oop north.
chicken pox, however, not jealous :(
( sleepybinky, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:28, archived)

Are you coming to visit me?

( jenpots, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)

I bet you cunts won't even do a sixty mile detour for a cup of tea
:(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

Chicken poxed children
Means no mates
So blue star
Stays home and waits

She does some baking
Cuts her hair
Then weeps and screams
In blobby despair
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

Vladdy, oh vladdy
Listen here laddy,
I feel worse than the parents
Of abductee maddy

My neck is all stiff
And my willy ain't ever
And I've not had much sleep
So I don't feel too clever

So take your "cheer up"
And fuck off to fuck
No one in the world
ever had worse luck

Than me
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:26, archived)

would you like me to buy you a sony 3d tv?

( mongychops, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

I'd like to buy for mongychops
I fancy new teevee
But I need to buy a lot of chops
So he won't get one from me

If only I were a millionaire
The first thing I would do
Is buy even more chops
And post mongy a few
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:30, archived)

cheers, i haven't eaten for a few days and dont feel too well

( mongychops, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)

I'll pop a pie in the post.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:37, archived)

Silly silly Balders
You cannot post a pie!
You'll mess up the post box
and make the Postie cry

You ought to put it in a box
then whack it in the boot
then drive all the way to Mongy's house
and push it up his chute
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:44, archived)

i liked it when you rhymed 'chops' with 'chops'

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:43, archived)

USE BALDMONKEY'S ONE STEP PLAN TO SHIT POEMS...
Manolith,
You pasty faced cunt
Fuck off
You fucking cunt.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)

i liked it when you rhymed 'cunt' with 'cunt'

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:01, archived)

I like this
I have to admit
It rhymes really well
It's a long way from shit
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:31, archived)

I like the way
Your poem's tilted
By lines that get longer
Without   being    stilted

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)

!Excellent!
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

I've bought a new laptop
and I want it to arrive today. MAKE IT ARRIVE TODAY IF YOU THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

TELEGRAM FOR TW'ATS
Your laptop
Is crap [STOP]
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:32, archived)

:(

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:34, archived)

I so want my new laptop
so I can play with it
and record some of my music
and make Baldmonkey's look like shit

I had to buy a red one
They didn't have one in black
If it looks all girly
I'll send the fucker back
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)

it's not so much the cherry red that makes it look quite gay
it's the wallpaper of bieber that gives the game away
so do not be embarrased, hats, now that your laptop's here
it gives you a great chance at last to hug your inner queer
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:35, archived)

bravo! *stands up*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:36, archived)

stands up trouser-salutes
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

*half masts*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

You'll never make my music
Look any shitter than it is
I've done that job already
By being a talentless prick with all fat and loser.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:45, archived)

Oh lovely little Balders
Your music's not THAT bad
You have a lot more talent
Than Miley Cyrus' Dad

Except when he sings a song
called achy braky heart
You would respond with your own composition
CHIN CATS EGGS BUM FART!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN
NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN
NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN
NYAN NYAN
NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN
NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:39, archived)

baldmonkey
all his troubles are wack-i
from his head down to his ballsacky
it is a mod
he wants to be

Some. how.
his music is both shit and quite catchy.
Un. like
this blatant rip off of McCartney-ey-ey-ey.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

Popular music only, Grry
Nobody listens to old-man music anymore
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:48, archived)

Are you Mortal Wombat's comedy account?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:51, archived)

I thought I was yours

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:52, archived)

music stopped in 1991.
Nothing has been made since then.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:52, archived)

Until 1998
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 11:56, archived)