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Sorry Balders, that's a bit too mental for this time of the morning, let's have a more mellow morning thread
Is it wrong to have a biscuit with your morning tea? Is that sort of behaviour just for fatties?

To those of you that drink coffee, do any of you actually like those hard little biscuits that you often get in coffee shops? If not, what sort of biscuits go with coffee?
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:25, archived)
FoOooOO0opo0ooooooOOO)0o0O00o)0O0o)0O)o0o0d

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:30, archived)
there's p in your food.

(I helped save b3ta! postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:38, archived)
i like p fritters

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)
I've never had pea fritters,
is it garden peas in batter like a green toad in the hole, or more like a log of mushy peas?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:36, archived)
I tried it once out in the West Country
Never again. Friend from Wiltshire said that if I was heading out that way to make sure I tried pea fritters.

Fucking cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:39, archived)
i've never tried it and i live in the West Country.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)
I had it in Dorset.
Disgusting!

Pea fritters I mean, not Dorset- Dorset's lovely.

I have a silly tendency to try chip-shop local specialities depending on where I am. That has included deep-fried battered haggis, black pudding, white pudding and saveloys. Never have I eaten anything as disgusting as a pea fritter- never again.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:19, archived)
do they do it in a cornish pasty?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:51, archived)
garden peas in batter sounds quite nice. so adding peas to my next toad.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)
it would be easier to use peas than sausages to spell out FUCK in the batter

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:57, archived)
I'm scared.

(I helped save b3ta! postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:37, archived)
Also, I hate biscuits.
Gross little bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:01, archived)
All biscuits?
Even jaffa cakes?
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:14, archived)
I'm in the US. whatever they are we probably don't call them jaffa cakes here.

(I helped save b3ta! postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:26, archived)

How typically American. All you're eating are bagels, pancakes with syrup, peanut butter: you eat unhealthy stuff all the time; truth be told, every type of food you didn't steal from other countries -- and in the case or pizza, even that -- is unhealthy. You don't even have sausages for breakfast!
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:29, archived)
beans
it was always the idea of eating beans at breakfast that most irked my american friends.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)
I'm not keen on it myself, it's generally not done over here
You can't fry beans
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)
what about refried beans? they are fried, then fried AGAIN

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:11, archived)
The mexicans eat diseased corn
they have no fucking idea what food should be

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_smut
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:00, archived)
At least I own a car and can afford the gas to put in it.
I'm not talking some diesel pile of shit you've been overcharged for. I own a real car.

Your country has busses though. Its just like a car, but you share it with other smelly people that can't afford shit.
(I helped save b3ta! postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)
there's a certain small bitey biscuit which i think you mean
which i like because basically it tastes like its hardened sugar and butter and not a lot else.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:40, archived)
but i don't drink coffee so i shouldn't have answered :(

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:41, archived)
You've just ruined the internet.
I hope you're happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:54, archived)
I doubt that civilized society frowns upon the occasional morning biscuit or two

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:49, archived)
I'm sending the police, you biscuit time wronger.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:54, archived)
it's always biscuit time
Unless you have no soul
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:00, archived)
Being on /talk is like the 'bullet time' effect in movies, but it never speeds back up.

(I helped save b3ta! postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:10, archived)
Almond biscotti? Yes, they're lovely.
In the absence of biscotti try Hobnobs- truly the king of biscuits.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:17, archived)
I think they mean caramelised biscuits.
Biscotti is a misnomer, it's more of a cake.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:37, archived)
it's so not a cake.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:42, archived)
starts hard, goes soft. Biscuit.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:42, archived)
starts soft, goes hard. Cake.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:42, archived)
starts soft, goes shrivelled, frisbee_adam.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:43, archived)
I admire you for your perspicacity.
It's a rare talent but you seem to have it in abundance.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:50, archived)
it's good that she's sweaty?

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:52, archived)
That's a terrible interpretation of biscuits and cake there, Binks.
It's a cake that is cooked twice: first when it's baked and rises, secondly when it's sliced, dried and hardened.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:55, archived)
That's the legal definition, Frizbee boy.
I'd expect a QC to know this. Or perhaps you aren't a real QC after all.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaffa_Cakes#Cake_or_biscuit.3F
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:56, archived)
:O SLANDER!
I can understand where she's coming from with the whole hard = biscuit thing and the twice(bis)-cooked(cuit) doesn't help, but it is more appropriately recognised as a kind of cake, albeit with biscuitty qualities.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:00, archived)
The Middle French word bescuit is derived from the Latin words bis (twice) and coquere (to cook), and, hence, means "twice-cooked."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biscuit#Etymology
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:03, archived)
Thanks, Wikipedia.
It also recognises Biscotti as a twice-baked cake.
So what are we going for, the tax definition, the cooking definition or the wikipedia definition?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:06, archived)
And the biscotti we eat in coffeeshops are cantucci, a variation of biscotti.

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:07, archived)
We've determined that a biscuit is the same thing as a twice-cooked cake.
Americans think a biscuit is a salty scone, the description is there for this reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:08, archived)
I understand, but did Binky determine this?
Her interpretation of biscuits and cake on the merit of going hard/soft was what I was originally challenging.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)
SIMPLE TERMS FOR SIMPLE BOY.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)
Oh Binky
not the ad hominem argument? :'(
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:20, archived)
*pats head*
not really, no. but never mind.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)
one child at school, the other in bed
TIME FOR TWO POACHED EGGS
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:22, archived)
HEY! THIS HAS NO HITS!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc&feature=player_embedded
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:27, archived)
you gutty cunt
My laptop arrived yesterday, I'm installing the amp software now and they're all at Paulton's Park today! SCORE!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:27, archived)
I'll be doing some ironing in a bit.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:36, archived)
capital

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:37, archived)
i'll just eat these crisps first

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:51, archived)
given up on this cunting thing already

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:09, archived)
das

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:51, archived)
boot

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:53, archived)
y call

(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:54, archived)
WELSH!

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:57, archived)
rarebit
I'm hungry
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)
You don' 'ave biscuit wiz your coffee, vile engleesh piig-dog!
*smokes cigarette with his espresso*
/french
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:35, archived)
FUCK BISCUITS

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)
WHAPPLE

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:22, archived)
WHAPPLE!

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:32, archived)
I think someone should find a mug with an internal diameter sufficient to take a stack of hobnobs to the brim
then fill it with tea and eat it like some kind of ultraporridge
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:02, archived)

hobnobs Oreos
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:11, archived)
what the fuck is wrong with you?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:15, archived)
Oreos > Hobnobs
Simples
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:16, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7216393
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:21, archived)
wtfuckingf?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:23, archived)
covered in chocolate
then you bite both ends and sip it through your coffee.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMHHHHNNNNNNNGGGHHH!
*clutches heart and keels over*
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:28, archived)
how can you bite both ends off an oreo, they are circular
oh god what is going on
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)
you're thinking of a tim-tams you ming-mong
The slightly thicker and choclatier cousins of penguins
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)
I know what I ate
you weren't even THERE, MAN!
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)
FUCK
OFF

Oreos are the bastard offspring of a dried out bourbon and icing sugar made from piss
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:38, archived)