b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 7219689

I was sitting on my balcony, cleaning my gun*
when two rozzers strolled past, looking for drunks. "Are you the person who called about the drunks?" they called up to me. "No sir", I replied, since Polish is a very formal language. "Well, have you seen any drunks here?" they asked. "Oh yes, they went that way", I said in my retarded version of the language, pointing obligingly. It took them a few seconds to work out what I was trying to say, they walked off, muttering. I continued to clean my gun.*

It was only then it struck me how very much like a cowboy or redneck-Deep-South movie this situation was. Ever felt like a hick?

*Paint gun, I'd just been painting.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:52, archived)
I snogged my cousin when we were sixteen
Does that count?
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:53, archived)
are you both the same gender?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:54, archived)
Nope
And she's a second cousin
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:55, archived)
what, your aunts brought her home from the factory where they worked
because she wasn't good enough to be sold in the shops?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:57, archived)
She's from Hungary so that's not far off her life
We sold her brothers, they make fine breeding stock for the Romanians
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)

breeding soup
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)
*Keeps schtum*

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:56, archived)
would've been better if you'd said *keeps mum*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)
*Hint*
profile
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)
oh....dear
oh well...such is life. I judge not.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)
;p

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:14, archived)
Just keeping it in the family, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)
Well, vice is nice....

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:44, archived)
incest is best

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:45, archived)
But I heard that vice are paedophiles.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)
So's Pete Townsend.
It doesn't mean we're not allowed to like his music anymore does it Jaction?
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)
That is exactly what it means, the EXCELLENT stuj.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:50, archived)
Well, at least that means nobody's allowed to play ANY Michael Jackson songs ever again.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:53, archived)
But at least I'm not Bert.
she was a second or third cousin and in the remedial class at her school, so not full retard
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:46, archived)
You're a hero
Just so you know that
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:01, archived)
my cousin was more like a sister to me except that we had less sex

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:17, archived)
my cousin and i used to do dirty msn chat
great times
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)
Yeah.
I'm thinking this is a bit wrong here...
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)
bear in mind his cousin was 9 at the time

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)
no she was 27 i think

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:48, archived)
well that makes it alright then

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:57, archived)
exactly

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:17, archived)
:/

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)
SNOGGY COUSIN FUN TIMES

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:02, archived)
Nope

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:55, archived)
Hot damn

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:57, archived)
*twirls cane*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:58, archived)
Nosirree.
*Swigs moonshine*
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:57, archived)
*spits tobacco juice*

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:00, archived)
*works at a gas-station, refuses to reveal information to a passer by until a sum of money is paid*

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)
How much does it cost?
How much yoo got boy?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:08, archived)
Bottle o' Hooch an' sum deep fried 'taters might refresh ma memory

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:22, archived)
Ah got grits.
You wan' grits?
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:22, archived)
Yes*
*no
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)
Darn tootin!

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)
Not really.
Living in a developed country and all...
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:08, archived)
Any country that can provide work for someone like you
can hardly be called "developed"
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:12, archived)
Hardly a qualified statement as you don't know me outside of here.
I, however, still know that Poland is a shithole.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)
how have you come to that conclusion?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:17, archived)
Because they haven't got an EXTREME frisbee league.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:19, archived)
Actually they do

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:20, archived)
I can see your point, then.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)
Xenophobia

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:20, archived)
coupled with crippling ignorance, most likely

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)
should run for that party with the spakky eyed cunt in
i bet the BNP love frisbee
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:26, archived)
That's 2 for 2 on the ad hominem-type arguing, Grry.
Care to go for a hat trick?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)
You really need to get into an e-Prime way of thinking if you ever want to make it in the courts, Adam
or that claim of knowing is going to get you in trouble.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)
I'm glad you cleared this up.
If you don't mind I have to go soil myself with modern western anti-culture now. I may need your acerbic eastern insight later if you're free.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)
That's quite alright
Come back when you've learned your own language, before you start dabbling in others, especially dead ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:36, archived)
Oh, you! Now you're just flirting.
*waves away* hush now, Breadline. I've got ignorance to do.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:41, archived)
do you like being shouted at?

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:32, archived)
Yes
No, wait that's wrong. No.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:42, archived)
Hey now, that's unfair.
Having an enforced euthansia prgramme hasn't been allowed in the West since the end of WW2. We look after our window-lickers and provide them with mental stimuli, not like you Eastern bloc types with your Romanian orphanariums.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)
In a decent society, he'd be in an isolated blockhouse far away from any residential district
spending his days rocking back and forth in his chair, or pulling the wings off flies. Giving him responsibility is just a cruel joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:29, archived)
In a right-thinking society they'd be subject to Aktion T4.
"60,000 Reichsmarks is what this person suffering from a hereditary disease costs the People's community during his lifetime. Comrade, that is your money too. Read '[A] New People', the monthly magazine of the Bureau for Race Politics of the NSDAP."
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)
How much is 60,000 Reichsmarks?

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:48, archived)
At today's exchange rate or back in old money?

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:50, archived)
Gimme both.
This mong has his own timemachine
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:54, archived)
By "Timemachine" you mean "Mickey Mouse Alarm Clock"
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:57, archived)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*clutches clock time machine and rocks in the corner howling*
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:59, archived)
Croydon is basically the 3rd world
But with 4 McDonalds and a Primark
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:15, archived)
every day of my life

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)
When I moved down to Northampton from Yorkshire, the other kids kept asking me to say things
as they found my charming Northern accent something to be ridiculed fascinating.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)
When I used to go on holiday
to see my cousins in Ireland, they used to make me say stuff as well because they thought my accent was hilarious. Cow was a particular favourite of theirs. Bastards. At least I can say 'three'
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:39, archived)
I live in Suffolk

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:43, archived)
there was the incident with the Banjo
but i'm banned from saying anything about, suffice to say, Windy Pig is not my real name.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:47, archived)
You've shattered the illusion for me now :(

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 16:48, archived)
YOU'RE ROBOCHOPS!
Yay, this has made my day :)

(It's not been a very exciting day)
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:15, archived)
I read all of that like it was a Johnny Cash story song.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:03, archived)
that's exactly the right way to read it
just imagine everything I type in Cash's voice
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:05, archived)
hush biggun

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 17:34, archived)
Not recently.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:12, archived)
Dang!
Now, mind you, blowin' up the Boar's Nest outhouse was the dirtiest thing them Duke boys ever pulled besides a plow, but doggone if it weren't necessary. Sure, it made a bar full of good ol' boys madder than a weasel in a gum-bush, and pretty near scorched the skivvies right off of poor ol' Deputy Wilbur Fudge, but there's more than plain meanness to this here deal. In fact, in all the ruckus, I reckon no one noticed Daisy switchin' the counterfeit money bags on poor ol' Enos–and it's an unusual day in Hazzard County when a body don't notice the finest legs in Georgia. I guess dynamite in the two-holer does get folks' attention right quick. Ain't them boys slick?
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 18:16, archived)