I know it's only June
but I've put the annual /talk Xbash in the calendar for all you lot who say you'll go and then don't bother.

I'm going out for dinner with some friends tonight. YAY. What're you doing tonight? -points for saying 'your mum', 'your dad' 'your husband' or any other of my family members or pets.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:59, archived)

Playing Zelda and crywanking.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:01, archived)

Hello aardvark
I had put a comment about having not heard from uni yet earlier on but then Frisbee Dick deleted it.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:03, archived)

Did they give you any indication of when you might hear back?
I ended up ringing my uni to ask when I might hear. They then told me on the phone that I'd got in. I was a little startled by that.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)

They said July at the very latest

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, archived)

Ring them at 12:01 on the morning of July 1st and scream at them until they tell you.
That's the best way.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:19, archived)

tell you GIVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING PLACE
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

I'm having Chinese because the cat pissed on my shoes
there is a connection
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:02, archived)

we should try to guess the connection

( vladimir, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:03, archived)

go on then

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

because they deliver
and he only owns one pair of shoes that aren't high heels and would be embarrased going to the shops in secret evening wear?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

the cat prefers indian, but because of pissing on your shoes you are punishing the cat by getting chinese instead
( vladimir, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)

The local Chinese serves dishes that taste of piss
and the smell has put him in the mood?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:09, archived)

Cat pisses on shoes.
Grrrmachine kicks cat- hard.
Cat dies.
Waste not, want not.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:19, archived)

chicken and cat shoe nuts?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, archived)

glued eel: untouchable

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)

did you get your randomburn?
I MUST KNOW
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:30, archived)

nope
I got binky's today, and that was posted on the 11th.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)

shit, i posted mine before her
sorry, polack
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:38, archived)

Hanging out with my brother
because he bought a car and is insisting on driving it to my house and visiting me, probably to rub it in, and i can't even take the damn thing for a spin.

Is bashing good? I saw that panorama about meeting people off the internet, sounded pretty rapey.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:03, archived)

tell me what car it is
and I'll tell you what withering thing you can criticise it for, to deflate his pompous balloon.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:04, archived)

Audi S3
I'm not sure if it's new or second hand, or what spec.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:06, archived)

Faulty lambda sensors, rattly suspension and a general falling apart of the trim
which is what you'd expect for an overpriced tarted-up Seat Leon
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:10, archived)

i don't what lambda senses are
but i think it's worth googling them to knock the smug bastard off his pedestal.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:12, archived)

They detect the half-life of any radioactive materials in the vicinity of the car.
Faulty ones are an immediate write-off, and could lead to mutation and cancer.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:15, archived)

just keep calling it a Leon
that'll wind him up enough, because he won't be able to argue with it.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:15, archived)

I think this will end badly for me
but he can't hit a cripple.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)

If he uses the four-wheel drive argument
tell him it's a load of bollocks, it's FWD most of the time until a front axle starts spinning, and it's a shit engineering compromise that sucks loads of power out of the drivetrain, and he might as well have bought a proper TT like all the other hairdressers.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)

i'm gonna need an a car in a similar price range that he should have bought also
just to make my sudden knowledge of cars that little bit more covincing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:28, archived)

Alfa 147, much more attractive to the ladies

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:35, archived)

I read that as lambada :(

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:16, archived)

awwww,
I will pay Grrrmachine (who seems to be our resident 4 wheeled expert) to build lambada sensors in to your car for you.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:19, archived)

I'm going to watch this dispatches thing about animal charities
and convince myself that's why I don't give to charity, and not because I'm a tight fisted cunt
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)

I only donate to animal charities
and specifically a wolf one, in the hope that they eat more humans
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:06, archived)

I'm taking MY dog to MY mum's.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:05, archived)

to up
+ bum?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:07, archived)

ugh
she's just had her parts taken out last thursday
she's not ready for all that just yet
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:10, archived)

had her parts taken out is an unpleasant phrase.
i always heard the best advice was straight back on the horse/dog?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:14, archived)

don't need to be getting her all excited!
perhaps after she's gotten her stitches out I'll let her have a go
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:15, archived)

you're a good daughter
I'm going to write and nominate you for one of those local hero awards.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:20, archived)

I thought she was talking about the dog

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:24, archived)

Yay! I'll be there and I assume Mrs Eddache will be free to come along too.
Tonight I may be looking into some legal and tax-related mumbo jumbo. But I might get a bit too intimidated by all the big-boy lingo and just play Zelda 3D instead.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:19, archived)

Hooray!
Your missus is brilliant.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:23, archived)

You, I can take or leave...

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:24, archived)

You cut me deep

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

I'm going to my mum's
It's the first time I'll have seen her since I went to Morocco, but my brother only finished his finals recently so I'm not an entirely bad child.
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:20, archived)

For someone who claims to work in law
I have trouble following your logic sometimes.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:21, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7RgN9ijwE4
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:27, archived)

My brain hurts...
Also, I expect this is Frisbee QC in court: www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1QI4P0YqtM&feature=related
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:31, archived)

Not much of anything.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:34, archived)