Doubly impressed
1) I made it down for my flight despite having 2 hours of sleep, then drove over to mine to get my driving license, only to have to drive back to my gf's because I left my phone at hers. Raced to the airport, made it all in time.
2) I survived an encounter on /talk relatively unscathed last night!
(chances aren't good for two nights in a row though!)
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:47, archived)

Hello

( CowJam, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:50, archived)

you're such a bastard

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:18, archived)

No, they were married.

( CowJam, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

A year after

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

For a small extra fee they can make it retrospective.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)

simply burn down the records building
and insert your name into a christening book at the appropriate time- Woman in White style
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)

cheeky sod

( CowJam, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

a year after the failed abortion

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

You can go off people
y'know
( CowJam, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:57, archived)

wuv u weelly yummy tickle bunny xxx

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

when are they going to put you out of your misery?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 1:02, archived)

do you mean by buying me a big present?

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 1:27, archived)

BE NICE!
Its in caps. That means you have to listen.
( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 2:04, archived)

Well it was quite late when you posted.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:51, archived)

I know
I was so tired, I used poor grammar! Bad Davy! :)
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)

Well you didn't make too much of a hash of it.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)

Welcome back.
It's good to see you again. I hope you had a pleasant flight and managed to catch up on your sleep. Perhaps you'll be better prepared in future- make sure you have all necessary items with you before setting off.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)

I sense a degree of sarcasm I've sorely missed
I've also struggled to cross the road without getting run over... what could I be doing wrong :)
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:53, archived)

I think flying is quite boring enough without being at the airport in good time or having a plan b if you miss your flight.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)

I have a great plan that rarely fails.
Get to the airport early and check my luggage in as soon as possible then hit the bar and stay there until everyone else has boarded the flight and my name gets called.

It doesn't win many friends with fellow passengers but it saves a lot of queuing and you can sleep through the flight.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

the first three minutes of flying is always holy shit awsome I am flying omg
then it's just like being on a bus, but they get upset if you get up and try and get off at your stop I pressed the bell why did they ignore the bell now I'll have to walk back to tescos
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)

Congratulations.
Have this link.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:52, archived)

Or alternatively,
this one.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)

Oh god.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)

or this
( vladimir, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:57, archived)

What?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)

This is unquestionably the best picture on the internet.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)

Boom

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 2:01, archived)

YES!

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:00, archived)

Mini

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 2:01, archived)

That always cracks me up.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)

I'm off back to mike's list to see if I can find the thread where I first saw him use it.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:02, archived)

Someone was banging the ignore drum, I think. Can't remember who.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)

Autistic Spectrum Quotient 9.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

I love that he thought he was anti autism

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

It might just have been the funniest thing he will ever come out with.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

Hahaha, yeah.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:26, archived)

Haha

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:34, archived)

APART FOMREE HIS PENUISS

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

Chev

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:33, archived)

Chevruin.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:36, archived)

AaaAAAAaAAAAaaaaA^rRrRRdvaaAAAaaaA^AaaAaRrRR^k!!!!!!!!_!!!!!!!!

You cunt!
( Lord Gnome, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:40, archived)

:D
Hello there Gnomey!
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:44, archived)

Oh darn it

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:48, archived)

harsh times

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:48, archived)

Yep.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)

Chevrons are tricky things.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:54, archived)

Yeah.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 1:57, archived)

ron

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:34, archived)

Master of Turnips.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6770025
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

It's got over 100,000 hits.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)

Smashed it

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:34, archived)

We were doing this shit years ago man.
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/roadkill.jpg
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)

Back

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 2:00, archived)

This

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 2:00, archived)

Way

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 2:00, archived)

huzzah
i went to glasgow the other sunday, got a taxi at 2:30am from Derby to Nottingham coach station to get a coach from Notts to Luton airport, then flew from Luton to Glasgow, to be in glasgow by about 9 and left glasgow at 5pm with family to get a lift back home in a car. Most mental day ever.
( FIEND, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)

That
is
mental.

Glasgow? :p
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)

I was thinking living in Derby myself

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:18, archived)

alright DavyBoyInGravyJoy

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:58, archived)

Awight
name I daren't type out for fear of getting it wrong (and Copy Paste is just cheating)!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)

Woodside.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)

No worries, it's the result that counts, not the method.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)

I try telling my rape victims that
As long as I've come, that counts!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)

Lolly.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:18, archived)

Licence.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)

Damn!
I lived in the US for a year, I picked up a bad habit!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

is being in gravy joy
Rolling around in the delicious stuff masturbating? And where can I take part?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:00, archived)

There's an annual convention in Deal
Held in the 8th month of Our Fair Lord... bring your own stock, and and your own sock!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)

fuck am i going to Deal.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)

charles hawtrey lived Deal, for purposes I will leave you to surmise "Hawtrey finally retired to Deal in Kent in the 1980s, where he devoted much time to the consumption of alcohol. He cut an eccentric figure in the small town and was well known for promenading along the seafront in extravagant attire, waving cheerfully to the fishermen, and his frequenting of establishments patronised by students of the famous Royal Marine School of Music."
( vladimir, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)

Hawtrey killed my grandfather you insensitive bastard
sex game gone wrong, but still
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)

shit, I'm sorry, I had no idea he was a time traveller too
( vladimir, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)

he wouldn't have to travel time
To get buggered to death in the 80's.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

I thought all grandfather killings were the result of time travel, maybe I have misunderstood
( vladimir, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

Have you ever used a 'magic wand' dildo to find your girlfriends a spot?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)

All I can think of is this line
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKkNQ8l9XqQ&feature=related
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)

That is basically the correct response.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)

Glad I've been conditioned
In other news... tits are on the TV, hello Babestation!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

Babestation Ant and Dec
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

^ if 8 out of 10 cats did that joke
v if have i got news for you did the joke
Babestation Prime Minister's Questions
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)

I can't see a question but if it's ''Did you go to the cinema?'', well then, yes. Yes I did.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

What did you see?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

Senna. It was good.
He died at the end.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)

No point me watching it now, really.
Did you cry?
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:58, archived)

I was a tad teary. I presume that some inconsiderate bastard behind me was chopping onions.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

i had to take doglin to be put down this morning,
very sad times
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

Bark the Beagle, Nevermore.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:42, archived)

ha, quite!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)

I will light a candle.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

I'm pouring a fourth.
Pourin' fifths is so 2010.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 23:59, archived)

I read this just as Mad Max's dog got shot in the second film. What a sad day for dogs both real and pretend.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:02, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/cheerupssg1.jpg
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:04, archived)

This should be on billboards.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)

www.photofunia.com/output/4/1/l/W/1/lW1TAaY1HziaZ4xUtaeR9w.jpg
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:19, archived)

That's a really fucking dull face.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:06, archived)

this always cheers me up!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:16, archived)

sorry to hear that, I know exactly how you feel,
Rubble went the same way about a month ago :(
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)

My dog's getting old maaan but I saw him today and he still looks alright.
Great dog stories.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:13, archived)

aaaw, poor rubble, what a great dog he was!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)

yeah, 15 years and about 8 months old as well

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:34, archived)

Your chance to see it before it becomes a front page, guys.
www.b3ta.com/board/10456132
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 0:12, archived)

Depends what you post really
There are seasoned veterans here who post the most unbearable shit.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 1:49, archived)

like me for instance

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 1:50, archived)