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WHAT ARE YOU HAVING FOR LUNCH?

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:35, archived)
I'm going to hire a sandwich
and claim it off binky's insurance.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:36, archived)
Dunno
I've got folk coming at tea time for a might feed so maybe just a butty, possibly fish fingers. I just don't fucking know!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:38, archived)
Also, seeing as I am now a patron of the arts
I've commissioned a four piece dinner service that will have the Comedy Spunking Cock © on the plates. I'm classy.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:44, archived)
Patron of the arts?
What the FUCK?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:45, archived)
I NO LOL
My mate wot makes pots and that is doing it for me
She has made me these:
Coffee Pot
Tea pot
And I have one of these coming next week
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:52, archived)
I love these.
But you are a massive fucking fairy for having more than one tea pot.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:57, archived)
The pink one was for The Missus's birthday
But that skull one rules. She has an Etsy thing, and a facecock thing too. Frankly some her the stuff she transforms are shit, but these pots are selling like mad. She's having to take time off work to keep up. Incidentally, the glamour girl ones were my idea. Not gay at all.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
*cough*WEDDING PRESENTS*cough*

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:01, archived)
Which one?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:04, archived)
all of them

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:08, archived)
I'm not sure.
I'm tempted by the pink pinup teapot, just so I can mock Badger every time he makes me a brew...
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:10, archived)
I'll facecock message you the link to her stuff too

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
I'll bet you were too full of fail to suggest the ladies dresses were made out of heat-reactive paint though.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
I did ask for that
But she can't get hold of a cost effective lacquer. Or something
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:25, archived)
I really really want that.
WANT IT.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:01, archived)
poofter

(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)
Thing is right, I look gayer than you with a sailor hanging out of your arse right now
But I like tits and fannies and that. So I win.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
Tuna and sweetcorn sandwich
tea, a mandarin yoghurt and saucy daydreams.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:40, archived)
Barbecue and ketchup
respectively.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:41, archived)

don't turn this into a thread about sauces, don't you remember what happened last time
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:47, archived)
*wipes away a tear*
The Great Sauce Thread Of About Two Months Ago. We hardly knew ye.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:50, archived)
Let's get Kersal back and spark up that argument about whether tomato sauce is gravy.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:56, archived)
What the shuddering what what what what WHAT?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:57, archived)
Oh my word.
b3ta.com/talk/4316707
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:58, archived)
That couldn't be wronger if it were written by Nick Griffin.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
If he'd written it there'd only be that white gravy you get from KFC.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:01, archived)
Griffin never struck me as a man who'd be picky about what he eats.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:04, archived)
THAT'S NOT GRAVY.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:09, archived)
So you're saying it's Ketchup?
You racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)
i dunno, to be honest. they all look the same to me.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:12, archived)
That's pretty special.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
^this?
Is this like MGT's 'if you think a rude thought about me it's rape?'
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:58, archived)
Even if one were to accept that premise, she'd still be a virgin.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
It's in the same 'you fucking idiot what are you talking about shut up' vein, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
oh man, i loved that one.
STOP RAPING ME WITH YOUR MIND.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:09, archived)
It's the same as real rape

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)

A circle in a spiral, a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the rapists of your mind
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
like a knife within a rucksack or a roofie in a gin,
when you find yourself in toilets with a blade under your chin
when you wake to find no memory and the photos in your bin
and the rapist that you get
puts you on the internet..
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)
Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:23, archived)
This is your best work however.
b3ta.com/talk/7071558
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)
i should be on morphine all the time.
i'm BRILLIANT on it.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)
GRUEL
I'm currently eating a banana
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:42, archived)
In order to atone for my below-average performance this morning I am having
Chipotle beef wrap from sainsburys
Ibuprofen
Co-codamol
and two cans of Monster
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:51, archived)
Salad, cous cous, chicken and low fat coleslaw.
It's quite tasty.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:52, archived)
I'm having a buffet.
I must admit, there's great catering here at the mass funeral of binky's road terror victims.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:52, archived)
Chicken and brown rice, when I can be arsed to go and make it.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 12:55, archived)
beef, mustard, chedder, pickle and salad sandwich

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:00, archived)
Oh man I've got a squeezy bottle of Branston pickle that I've not opened yet.
I need some fucking cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:02, archived)
do it,
my sandwichs are that awesome they are the talk of the lunchbreak, yuo can tell i work somewhere really boring
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:04, archived)
also sunflower seeds

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)
Alright sunshine?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)
im not too bad thank you
yourself?

ive already finished my lunch due to it being awesomely tasty
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)
I've finished a component of my lunch
I have one component to make and the other to eat.

I'm alright thanks. Are you coming to Xmas bash?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
xmas bash? i havent thought that far ahead yet
ill say yes. so expect me
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)
YES.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)
The question is Vladimir,
WHAT ARE YOU HAVING FOR LUNCH?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:06, archived)

coffee
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:08, archived)
it's cold too

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:12, archived)
go and chat to one of your colleagues and slyly swap your cold coffee
for their fresh hot coffee. if you don't like the colleague, wee in it first.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)

I have no colleagues
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)
well, wee in your own coffee then
do i have to think of everything?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)

can you order me some colleagues, they sound handy, here in the old people's home they are all a bit dull
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:23, archived)
You're in an old people's home?
why are you on the internet and not racing wheelchairs around the corridors with your frie...ohhhhhhhhhh. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:28, archived)
Hula-hoops and a can of diet coke

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:07, archived)
a mexican chicken shaker thing from motherfucking ASDA.
it sounds grim but it was lovely. although, being from asda, there was a faint aftertaste of fag smoke and despair.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:14, archived)
So what's up?
You got AIDS or summat?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
dunno yet. consultant haematologist appointment next wednesday.
on the bright side, it's either arthritis or leukemia. i hope it's leukemia. i've always wanted to swim with dolphins.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:35, archived)

the dolphins are all booked up at the moment, I can get you in with some halibut next wednesday, is that any good to you?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:39, archived)
A cigarette and a bottle of lucozade.
And it's really my breakfast.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
a pink wafer biscuit dipped in your mother's cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)

I'd like to see you try, she had gender re-assignment surgery in 2003
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)
poached egg on toast
wholemeal bread, very runny yolk
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 22 Jun 2011, 13:28, archived)