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Hey guys!
The sensor in my old renault has gone fucky. It won't pick up the magic beam from my key without a good deal of messing about. Which is a nuisance because I have to zap it to switch off the immobilizer.
I am having to remove the sensor panel from the roof and zap in from the back. even then it only works Eventually.
What measures would you, the internet's finest automobile electronics engineers, take to correct the car?
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:21, archived)
wrap it in tinfoil.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:22, archived)
Scrap it and buy a new one.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:22, archived)
Well I'd definitely start by posting on talk so you're on the right track.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:23, archived)
b3ta can solve anything; not just health issues.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:25, archived)
lol
www.b3ta.com/questions/internetmeets/post1398544
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:00, archived)
top work

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:06, archived)
Get a honda accord.
OR take it to a garage you fucking idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:24, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/internetmeets/post1398432#answers-post-1398435
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:24, archived)
I'd like to know what happens if Legless proposes a toast.
The scene: LEGLESS and VARIOUS QOTW REGULARS are in a pub.

LEGLESS:Cheers
*glasses clinking'
LEGLESS:No wait I haven't finished
*pause*
LEGLESS:So, anyway, cheers.
*glasses clink*
LEGLESS:NOT YET
*pause*
LEGLESS:So, anyway, I'd just like to say 'cheers'.
*glasses clink*
Enter BALDMONKEY
LEGLESS: What I was trying to say in my toast was 'cheers'
*BALDMONKEY raises his glass very slightly*
LEGLESS: THAT'S IT I'M LEAVING NOW, THIS EVENT HAS CLEALY BEEN INFILTRATED BY /TALK TROLLS.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:39, archived)
I've heard legless is both big AND clever.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:41, archived)
He once sellotaped a car to a wall, you know.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:42, archived)
I met him, once
cheers.
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:46, archived)
Did he try to sellotape you to a wall?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:51, archived)
no
just told lots of stories that were unbelievable
(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:06, archived)
Ah, he just posted online that he did.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:07, archived)
OMG, they fucking deleted it.
Surely that's a good enough reason to close QOTW?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:56, archived)
It's probably due to electronic interference. You should go and live in the wilderness, far away from phones, computers and any other sources of internet.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:25, archived)
Also you should take a loaded shotgun in case you get lonely.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:44, archived)
Bully.

(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:46, archived)
Push it in Baffin's Pond and then go to bed
forget it man...it's dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:25, archived)
Buy French..
..buy twice
(I helped save b3ta! Signify, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:26, archived)
That'd be my dad.
Renault 21 - engine almost fell out.
Citroen XM - don't get me started.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:34, archived)
Tell me about it.
Bottle of La Croisade Réserve Merlot - corked, baguette - stale, camembert - mouldy.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:37, archived)
See, racist grandparents would have rocked as the question on QOTW.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:35, archived)
posted by rachelswipe on 20/10/2011 [19 replies]
Oh, qotw.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:27, archived)
I'm still appalled by that group of fat shut-ins that for some reason are proud to be fat shut-ins.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:31, archived)
I might be talking bollocks here as I know fuck all about cars
but we had problems with our zapper not working and we'd changed the battery, it worked for a few hours and then stopped again.
Did this about 3 more times before the guy at the car shop asked to look at the set of keys that lived with the car keys on the same chain.

Turns out it was the magnetic trolly keyring that was attaching itself to the car key and draining the battery straight away.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:30, archived)
That's very useful advice. Thank you.
Snot that though. Nothing funny on my keyring, and I've tried the batteries.
I've a suspicion that it's condensation inside the sensor thing. But it might not be. If it's something more serious, the day's coming when I won't be able to start it. What a bother. And it probably isn't worth paying to get it fixed either.
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:35, archived)
push it off a cliff

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:33, archived)
NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:37, archived)
throw it in the fucking bath

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:36, archived)
Kick it right in the fucking tits.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:37, archived)
Point it at your head and press it

(serge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:38, archived)
Take it to a garage and get it fixed.
Or make do with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:40, archived)
AKB!

(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:54, archived)
Take it apart and use the bits to spell PERSONALITY HORSE along the length of your street

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:42, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybKiF8yQbGw
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:47, archived)
That's from the documentary about Ford Kiernan's life
I hear he's a temper on him
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:50, archived)
I've met him AND Greg Hemphill.
shit, I should probably have posted that on QOTW.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:52, archived)
O< ----- QOTW

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:53, archived)
Invest in a kaleidoscope
Shine the beam through that and the refraction will cause it to hit the sensor from multiple angles, increasing the chance of success
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:48, archived)
If that works you should be given your own tv show.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:54, archived)
Still wouldn't get in the newsletter.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:55, archived)
How 3

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:55, archived)
I like this.
But I think that first I will try wiring the key up to the mains to boost the signal.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:57, archived)
Just lick the key first
That'll help
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:58, archived)
You fucking well are Doctor Bunsen Honeydew.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:00, archived)
Baldmonkey, I want to get off with that Caitlin Moran
How can I go about this?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:56, archived)
8/10 cat owners say they own cats.
Rape.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:58, archived)
I knew I could rely on you
I knew it
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:59, archived)
She looks like she's murdered somebody and knows they'll never find the body.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:59, archived)
YEAH, I know...
She makes me feel a combination of fear and extreme sexual arousal. Scared stiff, if you will.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:01, archived)
Imagine what her orgasm face looks like.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:02, archived)
oh I will....

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:03, archived)
Smash the drivers window
then dive into it whenever you want to get in
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:01, archived)