Hi guy's, Queef is here, how are you?
Work's deathly quiet so I'm fannying about on the internet looking at recipes for the weekend. Going to try to make Chinese crispy duck on Saturday, not done that before.

What have you not done that before?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 12:53, archived)

Beer-can chicken.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 27 May 2021, 12:57, archived)

it's great, good in the oven as well as on the bbq

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:22, archived)

I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:01, archived)

I have, it's a shithole
1/10 avoid
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:23, archived)

That's *your* me
*my* me may be amazing. It may also be like watching Hellraiser after honking great line of ketamine but I won't know till I try...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:26, archived)

Also, there's a smell of crisps around
what does that mean? I don't have any crisps.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:26, archived)

Someone hid a potato down the back of the sofa

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:37, archived)

best euphemism ever.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:09, archived)

Have chips with that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:26, archived)

You're about to have a fit.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 27 May 2021, 13:39, archived)

lol fit

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 28 May 2021, 3:25, archived)

you're having a stroke
lol stroke
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:09, archived)

It means an Irishman is about to come into your life
lol come
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:39, archived)

off you pop then

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

My me Cyrus
Is she still a thing? I have no idea about anything anymore
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:53, archived)

I do hope not, she seemed like a right wazzock

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:03, archived)

She always looked like she smelled funny

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

Of crisps?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:48, archived)

Yeah, but not good crisps
Something like Ringo's or Chipsticks
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:54, archived)

Chipsticks are great

( mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:00, archived)

I'm not a crisps man on the whole but chipsticks are indeed great imho
Actually the Sainsbo's knockoffs are even better, more vinegary
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:59, archived)

Smith's ready salted for me nommy

( mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:56, archived)

Nothing made her sadder than the agent lost his bladder

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

On the airplane?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:23, archived)

Bet you own that too

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:09, archived)

This may shock you
But I don't
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:29, archived)

Not terrible enough eh
that fine line where something is too boring to be entertainingly bad
(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:47, archived)

I do like it
I just don't own it yet
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 22:16, archived)

oh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

Still cant get no trips, I'm never going to tune in and drop out at this rate

( mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:35, archived)

:(

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:47, archived)

Made sourdough bread
Also, with duck, prick the breast to stop it being too fatty
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:35, archived)

I will, pan fry to render the fat out, then glaze, and finally slow cook in the oven finishing up at top whack to crispen
quite a lot of work, fucked if I'm making the pancakes too
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

Dont , you want the fat in the duck

( mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

my wife's phobic about fat, the prick
as a result I've not had a Sunday belly pork roast in 5 years apart from once at the pub, my kid and I used to love those, cheap as shit as well. It's rubbish, she knows it's irrational but hey ho, there are worse things I suppose
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:04, archived)

If it's a whole duck , just use a baking tray with a mesh grill and drain the fat as you turn it every 30 mins

( mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:27, archived)

gotcha, ta

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:31, archived)

I pricked a duck's breast and ended up being banned from the park.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:10, archived)

^Live TV covid injector

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

I saw some black duck-like things in the park that I'd never seen before so had to google "black ducks with white bills"
Coots apparently.

I am 34.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:15, archived)

Mad as a coot, proper little nutters those. I nursed one back to health over a summer of 4 day week fishing. Gimpy I named him. Woke up one day with it sitting on my chest pecking me freaked me right out

( mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:44, archived)

aww
I once slept at a mates and woke up to find his cat stood on my chest staring right in my eyes from about 2 inches away.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:09, archived)

I see Amazon have bought MGM, although I can't tell if it's the whole corporation or just the lion's share.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:56, archived)

Bezos just wants to be associated with Tom's racist stereotype owner

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:04, archived)

Alright Rich.
I discovered Yvonne Fair's The Bitch is Black the other day, great stuff:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdeHMKnAZiQ
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:58, archived)

ain't that the truth
PS alright m8 how's tricks?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:09, archived)

not bad, can't complain really.
You?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:10, archived)

same I suppose, ticking over
better than 'fucking awful'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:15, archived)

*nods*

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

I'd say "your nan", but I was taught it was wicked to lie.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 May 2021, 16:10, archived)

mama done raise you right, boy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:21, archived)

garold I've just bought some crisps
haven't opened them yet but you never know
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:51, archived)

I tried Walker's chicken tikka masala the other day.
They have an odd cucumber aftertaste and also deviously only give you 5 bags in a multipack compared to the usual 6 you find in the 'big three' flavours.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 27 May 2021, 18:12, archived)

sounds like they've included the raita for free

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 18:13, archived)

but forgotten the popadoms

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:15, archived)

Motherfuckers

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:59, archived)