morning
another lovely sunny start here à Londres
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:05, archived)

Roses are red
The sunshine is sunny,
Richard McBeef,
Wanks horses for money.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:12, archived)

Roses sure are red
On that we agree
But here's where you're wrong:
I wank horses for free!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:20, archived)

I did kind of imagine you, yourself handing over a wad of notes
to the poor horse owner/pimp
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:26, archived)

of notes
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:32, archived)

anyway
some cunt was using a strimmer at 3am so I had to shut all the windows. Not the best night's sleep ever, I have to be honest. Had to resort to earplugs too.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:37, archived)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

ear +butt
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:47, archived)

stri bu
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:49, archived)

That's not how I remember it

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:50, archived)

Living near a railway is good
continual early morning brush cutter
(dribble, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 12:05, archived)

explosm.net/comics/1089/
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:11, archived)

blech
barely got a wink of sleep, thanks to the heat

will probably crash and burn spectacularly later
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:23, archived)

Yeah it was a sweaty one alright

I am of course talking about my scrotum
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:26, archived)

it's probably "rubbed off" from all those horses

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:29, archived)

Good morning Mr Front Bum
A/C
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:34, archived)

Mr Front Bum
bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him so pengaleng also mint and reem (bung, bung, bung, bung)
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 8:40, archived)

I've just had to go and do a horrible job in a horrible loft.
I thought I'd fixed it last year, but last time I did i was really hungover and I didn't do it right so it is my own fault.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:12, archived)

unlucky mon
I have to design an email campaign and I just can't be fucked
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

How is it your fault? It's the ALCOHOL, it's not you.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 11:46, archived)

*slides in* Did somebody say "Whiffy Bumskull"??
Hahahahahahahahaha
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)

they'd better bloomin' not have m8 - kids read this site

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 9:04, archived)

morning from the frozen northern wastes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Jun 2021, 9:03, archived)

how revolting

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 9:04, archived)

only joking mate
it's actually a beautiful sunny day here!!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

Hello

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 9:46, archived)

hello there
so your daughter is a bit of a dark horse eh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 9:50, archived)

https://b3ta.com/talk/8303712

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:03, archived)

perhaps I could have chosen my words a little more carefully

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)

no no, this is much more lol

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

Turns out so. Says she's not going to uni this year now too. Fuck knows what's going on

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:04, archived)

why not? she's a bit of a star pupil, no?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)

I honestly dont know. Burnt out I think. I'll carry on trying to convince her

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:23, archived)

maybe a year or so of working would do her good
It might bring home how grim it is out there without decent qualifications - and give her something to put on her cv as a new graduate later. Might not be bad news I reckon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:51, archived)

I'm just trying to be nice here tbh
If my kid pipes up about not going to uni I will freak out
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:53, archived)

What can you do but offer advice, she's 18, cant force her

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 11:00, archived)

true indeed

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 11:37, archived)

Are young people still smoking fags?
I thought that the price of the fucking things would be half of a deterrent, and the fact you can't smoke anywhere any more just about the rest.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:18, archived)

Yeah loads of youngsters smoke, it's cool again.

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

It's just a gateway drug for vaping these days.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:45, archived)

What with the 80s being obsessed over by people too young to remember them
I'm surprised all the cool kids aren't wandering around holding a sandwich bag with some glue in
(dribble, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 11:20, archived)

Wait till they rediscover jenkum

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 13:28, archived)

Is she doing an apprenticeship in electrical installation,
with optional side modules in catching inedible fish and/or Pokemon?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:31, archived)

I hope not apprenticeships are rubbish now days

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:42, archived)

An excuse for cheap labor

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 11:47, archived)

There just not as involved as when I did mine.

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 12:05, archived)

Elf and safety

(dribble, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 12:19, archived)

True, also most start after a levels and the ambition isn't there

( mongychops, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 12:23, archived)

Morning
Aye sunny up here too. I'll probably spend most of the day sat in my stiflingly hot room feeling vaguely guilty that I'm not outside making the most of the weather but also not doing much work either.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)

morning
I've got a lot to do and I don't feel like doing any of it. And I've got 't3h 5h1t5' from too much rich food and booze
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:18, archived)

morning
I'm working in the garden again today
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)

it's a hard knock life, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

STRIKEY-G WANKING!!!!11!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

haha, good joke, nice 1 m8!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:22, archived)

I hate these complex inside jokes

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 1:59, archived)

I've just found out that technically, Lasting Powers of Attorney for Property and Financial Affairs are incompatible with discretionary investment management due to delegation of investment decisions by an Attorney not being permitted.
BEAT. THAT.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:36, archived)

FUCK. OFF.

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 10:52, archived)

I dunno mate, good news for you and the rest of the SLASHTALK CREW, I'll need to do some work off the back of this fact, so that will keep me off here for a bit.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 8 Jun 2021, 11:03, archived)

yesssssssssssssss

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 11:26, archived)

How to talk like a cunt.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 8 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)