Good afternoon, dickhead's
Queef here, just checking everyone's OK?

It's the weekend, which I'm sure we all agree is both 'woo' and 'yay'. Got the kid this weekend, off to the Design Museum to the sneakers exhibition wot mongy tipped me to, should be good. Then a load of grilling and chilling, like a villing.

how bow u lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

dunno, got some people viewing my house tomoz but that's about it mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

they will be put off by your appallingly bad taste in interiors and won't make an offer
sorry to be the bearer etc
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

you mean the camouflage wallpaper was a bad choice?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

I'm afraid the 'snapback' display cabinet and wall-mounted skateboards will induce such chronic belming that your chances of selling are nil
As they leave one will turn to the other and say 'if that fucking deacon lives here then there's no fucking way I'm ever going to'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

THE ALAN PARTRIDGE SKATEBOARD HAS BEEN A BIG HIT SO FAR, I WILL HAVE U NO

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:18, archived)

skateboard shrine
(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:32, archived)

People bounce back!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)

He's a mentalist!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:36, archived)

We'll have that pint!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:37, archived)

I'm having a glass of wine with my lunch like some kind of fucken frenchman

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:58, archived)

This is actually quite cultured and makes you sound sexy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:04, archived)

I'm planning to have a couple of cans of stella with my breakfast tomorrow, very continental.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:10, archived)

might have a negroni at 7am like one'a them dolce vita muthafuckahs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:11, archived)

ni
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

Terrible bullying of michael palin

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

This has taken me two hours to get

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 18:20, archived)

BRB!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 15:18, archived)

We’re like the fucken Gatsbys up in here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:48, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8303921
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:20, archived)

Mon dieu

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:59, archived)

sacre bleu m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:10, archived)

"mhuite"? o_0

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:13, archived)

hon hee hon

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

ooh la fucken la

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:19, archived)

oui, oui, m8



lol oui-oui lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:04, archived)

The build hasn't begun
and the brother in law has moved out so we've got an empty house for the first time in months - gonna large it!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:59, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYrXdkKQTeE
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:12, archived)

My fucken hammock turned up, m8
I'm a hammock prick now
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:03, archived)

50p+


lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

Lol
That's my nap in the garden sorted
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:00, archived)

^ Richard Hammock

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:09, archived)

John Hammock
Welcome....to a Jurassic kip
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:01, archived)

All about the footballs
I'm sure everyone else on /chat is excited to spend the next month watching and talking about nothing other than the Euros.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:04, archived)

no thanks mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

gosh yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:09, archived)

Might dust off the old miggy and fire up john barnes european football to celebrate

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

Got relatives here (the good kind), lots of boozing going on.
BBQ dinner planned later, also found some home made jerk paste in the freezer earlier. Rock on!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:16, archived)

fricken A, m8
Smoked wings and slaw for lunch 2moz, burgers for dinner then an Indian grillfest Sunday, happy days
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

NOICE

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:11, archived)

I'll be up the pub watching the football people

( mongychops, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

supposed to be a scorcher on Sunday, perfect all day pub conditions

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:43, archived)

My plan for both days is to be up the pub at 1, watch the early game

( mongychops, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:28, archived)

the niece is fucking off for the weekend
so i'm taking the opportunity to give the place a damn good clean
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:12, archived)

dunno why u don't just get a job as a cleaner, if you have no issues preventing you from cleaning your own gaff why not get paid to clean other people's gaffs?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:26, archived)

i'll clean my own place because i have no other option
and i can rest every 20 minutes to stop my legs swelling, but there's no way i'm taking a cleaning job, i fucking hate cleaning
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:48, archived)

Not one forum poster doesnt want you too fuck off for good, you never do tho even when banned repeatedly by the moderators

( mongychops, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

it's Friday, it's 5pm, it's time for a drink I reckon, cheers

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:02, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

just had a cheeky couple in TRUE PATRIOT TIM MARTIN's top East Ham hostelry, first indoor pub visit of 2021

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:17, archived)

tl;dr cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:18, archived)

Few of my mates tried to drag me into a ‘spoons in Leeds last weekend
I said I’m not setting foot in that shithole

Leeds, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:34, archived)

b3ta, you mean

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:50, archived)

Weekend is here woooo

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:18, archived)

i'll fucking drink to that

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

not til you've finished scrubbing someone's shitcaked bog for £2 an hour
It'll do you good, dozer's orders
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 18:26, archived)

A'igh' I is well sunburnt innit

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 21:11, archived)

Actor who became famous playing a movie jihadi complains that films contain too many muslims connected to violence

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 22:18, archived)