The problem is that they don't WANT to work

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:39, archived)

this morning I read that somebody'd referred to Tim Martin as "Worzel Gummidge on crack"

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:42, archived)

somebody who's never actually seen someone on crack, I assume

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:55, archived)

it was someone on the internet
nuff said
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:59, archived)

crack lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 3:32, archived)

Yeah, that doesn't make sense
"If Worzel Gummidge owned a chain of shitty pubs" would be more apt
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:03, archived)

i would have thought old Gummidge was more in to speed as well

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

Well there's no way he's a smoker
Far too dangerous
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:40, archived)

He's actually immortal and impervious to harm

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:42, archived)

lol pervi

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:43, archived)

I think the description "looks like a freshly shaved bollock" does perfectly well
much like Lawrence Fox looks like a just-wanked cock
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

That laurence fox really is a prize tit isn't he?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

Credit where credit is due
He's sticking with this whole 'acting like a prize cunt' routine, when many would have folded by now. "He hates BLM, because he thinks it stands for Billie Left Me" got a pretty big lol out of me
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:10, archived)

ha, that is funny,
i saw someone say that maybe it was Jaocquin Phoenix piece of dramatic art, where he was seeing how ridiculous he could be and still have some support from the idiot public
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:11, archived)

That's entirely plausible

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:11, archived)

sounds like something Shia LaBeouf would do

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:14, archived)

Shia Richard
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:44, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304277
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:47, archived)

Haha, I called him "meth-head scarecrow" in conversation not an hour ago.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:13, archived)

my favourite is shit thundercat

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:25, archived)

I'm suspicious of anyone who claims they want to work.
Who are they trying to fool?
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:42, archived)

Are you crazy?
I blummin love work, pardon my francais
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:03, archived)

is this about your raisin-like testes again m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:55, archived)

Yes
:(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:04, archived)

...and that's why they live in godawful Local Authority housing, packed in to 'estates' with nothing else in their lives apart from cheap sportswear and bad food.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:57, archived)

And their iPhones and netflick's

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

Prolific beter poster's, you mean

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:02, archived)

'member when OT posters moaned about getting work bollockings for mucking about on the internet?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:03, archived)

No, soz

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

I WAS TALKING TO DRIMBLE, NOT TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

Oh sorry, you all look the same to me

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:10, archived)

*brb klaxon*

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:39, archived)

Klaxon, klaxoff, Daniel San

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:59, archived)

velly solly, Hu Flung Dung, there's a nip in the air: Japan Airlines
glasshopper, flied lice, sore finger ('salt and vinegar')

I think that's all of them
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

Haha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

you forgot Wun Hung Lo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:21, archived)

media.giphy.com/media/1BRXy8cUS1jyw/giphy.gif
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

of course! what a fool I have been

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:55, archived)

i don't blame them,
i've just spent the afternoon crawling around in a loft fitting up some lights because some water wanker refuses to go up and inspect the storage tanks with a torch. I don't want to work either
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

Well I was talking about you specifically, m8

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

as always, you've got me down to a tee.
How are you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:09, archived)

Oh y'know
Stylin, profilin', farting out the front
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:11, archived)

You?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:13, archived)

good,bit tired from the heat,
mostly just enjoying some normality after a pretty turbulant year for my mental health.

Also, a bit sad because my motorbike is delayed on delivery until later in the week. i was all excited
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:17, archived)

Glad you're feeling like things are getting better
Shame about the bike, but it'll be ready soon enough
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:21, archived)

I hope so, plus, I got a whole box of twister ice lollies in yesterday so I can have one of those when I get home

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:28, archived)

Fucken lovely
I had a lime callipo at my auntie's yesterday. It was fucken beezer
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:31, archived)

you know what is under rated?
Lime Curd on toast for breakfast
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:40, archived)

It's an exciting vacation on lemon
but I always go back
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:49, archived)

Can I shock you?
I have never had lemon curd
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

woah woah m8 you didn't wait for him to say if you could shock him or not
And I'm afraid it's a no
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:02, archived)

Fuck
Well, I had a good run. Bye everyone!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

we've got some R White's lemonade lollies in the freezer, might have one RIGHT NOW as it goes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:42, archived)

^ secret lemonade-eater

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:44, archived)

ade-eat parti
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

do it

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:44, archived)

I jolly well am

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:46, archived)

those things are fit

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:24, archived)

Iceland stock liquorice twist lollies
they are fucking gorgeous
www.iceland.co.uk/p/barratt-black-jack-aniseed-and-vanilla-flavour-ice-lollies-4-x-80ml-%28320ml%29/79453.html
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:53, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304269
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:55, archived)

ewww, eff that m8
liquorice is fucking mank
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:56, archived)

It certainly sorts the children from the grown ups

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

i was looking at those last week
i might give them a try. the cherry tornadoes are still the best, mind
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:27, archived)

Well, the revised price of the build is through
it's gone up about 13% due to the hike in materials. That's about £4k.
We're gonna cut down on a couple of the optional extras and instead of a new kitchen we'll reinstall the old one and live with it for a couple of years but I recon by this time next week we'll be well into the demolition phase.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:52, archived)

lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:54, archived)

I do hope you've got a decent contingency factored in as well
I've seen Grand Designs, I know how this shit works - basically I'm an expert
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:01, archived)

We've watched it as well and the mistake they all make is wanting it to look nice
I just don't give a flying fuck.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:06, archived)

low expectations, always a good idea

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:09, archived)

I just leave it to my partner to unleash all hell if things aren't up to scratch
it's a weird subversion of the nice cop/nasty cop routine
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:12, archived)

Funny, that's what your builder keeps saying too

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:12, archived)

that's what every builder says

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:09, archived)

Oh this sounds like job racism

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:22, archived)

alright 'Nick Berry'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:57, archived)

I had about 8 weeks of not working when I was between jobs earlier this year and I have to say it was pretty good
Granted, the pay wasn't as good, but if you can get someone else to pick up the tab I thoroughly recommend it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:40, archived)

I love you a bit x
🤭
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

a bit Ro-land
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:59, archived)

aw shucks, c'mere y'big lug

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 18:42, archived)

❤️

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 18:55, archived)

i want to do a job that i'm physically capable of doing
and that won't fuck my health up even worse than it already is.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

That does rather narrow down your options.
Work is designed to fuck your health up, that way you spend the majority of your life earing money and then don't live long enough to enjoy a costly pension.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 20:33, archived)

I imagine zuckerberg types are the only ones not being gradually crushed into nothingness by their work
and twitch streamers, playing video games in return for thousands of dollars a day
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 23:12, archived)