morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Sep 2021, 6:52, archived)

and to you

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 7:04, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 9:07, archived)

A bottle of mint e-cig liquid just burst all over me
I smell like a fucking packet of polo's
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 11:01, archived)

Isn't that quite dangerous? I mean you can absorb nicotine through your skin, can't you?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Sep 2021, 16:28, archived)

Well, yes and no.
Nicotine patches work by applying a drug delivery system which applies a steady, measured quantity to the skin - it's designed to deliver nicotine dermally. If you spill e-cig liquid all over yourself, it'll mostly just run off. I can't see that being a particularly high risk of nicotine poisoning, assuming that the exposed skin was washed soon afterwards.

I'd be far more worried about exposure to whatever the fuck else they put in that shit.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 17:27, archived)

Well this was mint flavored, so I expect it was the finest dew-fresh hand-finished free-range mint leaves.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 17:59, archived)

I did wash it off straight away
Must admit, I never considered the possibility of absorbing it
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 18:30, archived)

What did you think happens when you inhale it?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 18:49, archived)

You absorb a small amount
But I spilled almost a full bottle on myself
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 20:11, archived)

wasn't there a trend a few years ago
where students would soak tampons in vodka and stuff them up their bums in order to get drunk without having their breath smell of alcohol?

probably the biggest load of science bullshit of the decade
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 19:03, archived)

I think that was a Scandinavian thing

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 19:05, archived)

those wakki Scandinavians

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 19:12, archived)

I'm pretty sure that would work, actually.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Sep 2021, 20:37, archived)

it would get you drunk alright, I'm just not sure about the breath bit

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 23:59, archived)

Stop scaremongering, it's a well known fact that vape liquid is a perfectly safe mixture of performance enhancing nicotine, delicious organic flavourings and chemicals which are clinically proven to make you look cool.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 19:05, archived)

Smoking makes you look cool.
Vaping, not so much.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Sep 2021, 22:05, archived)

Can't believe it's been 20 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers
Still freaks my nut out to this day
(Martin Anus, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 11:28, archived)

U OK hun?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 11:38, archived)

Wikipedia says you were born in Germany

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 12:47, archived)

Really makes you think

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 14:48, archived)

NEVA 4GET
b3ta.com/board/10530675
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 19:22, archived)

what a thread!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 19:56, archived)

Patient yesterday told me he'd had "A Bavarian enema".
I assume that involves sausages, beer and an oompah band.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 13:13, archived)

Sounds a specialised klismaphilac.
I found it hard to keep a straight face when I was a GP with some of my patients
One chap told me to try camel meat as an aphrodisiac, he swore it worked for him
(Pres Putin Masturbated on the ruins on, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 14:05, archived)

There is nothing more infuriating than patients who think it's their job to tell me what to do.
Might as well just drop my trousers right there and let them give MY bumhole a good prodding.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 18:01, archived)

"Velcome to ze clinic. Now I'm afraid I must prepare you for ze wurst."

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 14:25, archived)

if you're waiting for sausages you're expecting the wurst

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Sep 2021, 15:01, archived)

Yes, well done for repeating the exact same joke.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Sep 2021, 16:29, archived)

IT WAS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT, OKAY???

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Sep 2021, 16:55, archived)

When people put sausages up your bottom it's the wurst.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 16:55, archived)

I can't think of anything WURS(T)* than having a sausage shoved up the bottom!
*better
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 18:03, archived)

Haha yeah that’s the ‘wurst’* (worst)
*a type of German sausage
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 18:40, archived)

wurst,

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Sep 2021, 19:17, archived)

Oh come on put some effort into it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Sep 2021, 16:51, archived)

Cheers

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Sep 2021, 16:51, archived)

Man, you guys are the... least good.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Sep 2021, 20:38, archived)

Fewest

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Sep 2021, 16:50, archived)