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Making crab cakes
Lunch plans?
Lol crabs
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 12:33, archived)
It's nice of you to make cakes for crabs. I went to a lobster dinner once but the guests had all fallen in the soup and people ate them.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 13:41, archived)
I'm all heart me

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 14:02, archived)
like, no skin or anything?
How do you digest food?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 14:23, archived)
You are just being silly now

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 14:41, archived)

wake and bake
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 14:59, archived)
What do you call it when the first thing you do in the morning is smoke some trans weed that's so politically correct it makes you sick?
Woke-and-boke!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 15:33, archived)
/links is over there mate ----->

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 Jun 2023, 15:46, archived)
Florida Is So Bracing

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 20:42, archived)
Hadley's Dope

(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 20:18, archived)
I told my nephew about that super thc weed, he said get your mate to stick 3.5 up his arse when he comes back. Enjoy dogs sniffing your arse I point out to him,ffs

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 19:09, archived)
it's their way of saying "hello, have you got an eighth up your jacksey"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 21:04, archived)
garlic, lemon & herb chicken on the rotisserie, bbq rosemary potatoes and a salad
it's worth getting some Old Bay seasoning online to make Maryland crab cakes, they're nom, wooyay, pffft and dibnah.

I've just kicked off at the cunts behind our house for doing building work on a Sunday, endless powertools and hammering, verboten by Newham Council. Mrs went round first and was fobbed off with assurances, they carried on anyway so I went round and lost my shit. I'm the most placid, mild-mannered fellow ever, never done anything like that before. I actually said 'don't fucking smile at me' at one point. Might see if Guy Ritchie will cast me in one of his oi oi capers, I reckon I was well plausible.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 17:00, archived)
I've flavoured them with seasoning a smidgen of Encona Sauce and some dried coconut
Nomming them in a bit with couscous and green salad
Can I be in your gang?
You're the leader of the gang you am
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 17:45, archived)
Don't fucking recipe at him

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 20:22, archived)
'don't fucking smile at me' is well ard

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:49, archived)
THIS IS PROHIBITED BY THE COUNCIL

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 20:08, archived)
crab cakes sounds good to me
might make those myself
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 17:11, archived)
Just tinned crab sadly although next weekend off fishing so hunt down some fresh and maybe a lobster

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 17:47, archived)
Tinned here, too
Very few fishmongers around here nowadays
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:36, archived)
Just make sure they don't have a soggy bottom haha

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:06, archived)
It's funny because they say it in bake off lol

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:07, archived)
Spent lunchtime in A&E, daughter now in plaster cast and wife blames me for letting me go on the bouncy castle..
Having a double negroni for dinner
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:06, archived)
Alright ian

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:44, archived)
Simply send me your banking details and I will send you a FREE GIFT today

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:46, archived)
Well I like to make sure everybody is out of the house, get a big box of tissues out and then put on prime ministers question time.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 18:52, archived)
Apologies for the confusion, Gazza. Here's an actual ASCII art representation of a b3ta user named "mofaha":

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(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 19:02, archived)
Looks like a silhouette of the American Dennis The Menace
Is that what you look like?
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 4 Jun 2023, 21:17, archived)