Home » Talk » Message 8452953
Aardfternoon.
I don’t know all of you as well as I could. Some of you have been here for decades and I don’t know a thing about you. I’m sure that’s a good thing in some cases, but for those of you who aren’t total fucking pricks: what’s the first thing I should know about you?
Alt: no there is no alt, answer the question, damn you.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:49,
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My mother's maiden name is Halifa.
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:51,
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Interesting.
Is Halifax/Halifa X derived from that, like Malcolm X?
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:53,
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Yes, exactly.
Coincidentally, my first pet's name was Malcolm and my first car was a Tesla Model X - I got it on my 21st birthday on 13/7/22.
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:34,
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Your security questions have been saved
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:28,
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I forgot to mention
that the car was a gift from Geoffrey, my best friend since we were in St Saviour's Primary School, and that it's green (which is my favourite colour).
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:39,
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This is obviously all lies.
No-one likes green.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:46,
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alright Kermit's nephew, enough with the self-pity
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:47,
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bah
Bird of the day: Carolina Wren (Thryothorus ludovicianus)
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 15:01,
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I saw a superb fairy-wren in Australia once.
It was
fabulous!
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:30,
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No, it was Superb
AI Overview
There are many delicious herbs that can be used in soups to enhance the flavor and aroma.
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:39,
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HI I'M KERMIT
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 15:01,
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When you look at it constructively the Muppets were shit. I can explain my reasoning but I'm sure you already all agree. Thanks
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mongychops, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 15:46,
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American Vaudeville bollocks, never got the appeal
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 15:53,
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I mean more in their professional capabilities, but certainly chosen a very hard form of entertainment led to incompetence.
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mongychops, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:01,
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mnah mnah
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:27,
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I once got punched by former miss world Ashwarya Rai
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sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:52,
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Did you deserve it?
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:54,
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sort of yeah
I accidentally got in her eyeline during a take
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sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:01,
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You irredeemable bastard.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:06,
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+spunk
line
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:17,
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accidentally
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:36,
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How can she punch?!
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.Yeti., Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:07,
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'AWFUL!!'
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:15,
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I bet you had a good wank about that afterwards.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:24,
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So did I.
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Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:24,
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I hope you did away with outmoded gender stereotypes and smacked her in the chops
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:36,
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My knickers are red and they have polka dots on.
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:54,
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Thanks for that reminder and making me want to vomit directly into your eyeballs.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:55,
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Brace yourself
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mongychops, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:57,
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^ noob can't meme
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mongychops, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 12:56,
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'podka'
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sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:02,
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Damned auto correct
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:18,
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I talk a lot of shit
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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:02,
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Well now I don’t know if that statement is true or just shit.
It’s like one of those paradoxes or sutin.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:07,
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The first guard only talks shit, the second only calls you a wanker.
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:20,
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Bob Hoskins gave me the best advice I've ever had
"Garold*, never put your own money in a movie." We were talking about the film Secret Agent that he starred in, alongside Christian Bale, Robin Williams, Patrica Arquette, Gérard Depardieu and Jim Broadband. You'd think with a cast like that it'd be a great movie, a huge success. Bob thought so too so invested in it himself. With his own money. Which he regretted deeply.
*he didn't call me Garold, he used my actual, real name.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:09,
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Was this long enough ago that he was still known as Jim Dialup rather than Jim Broadband?
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:15,
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Dialup Danesh
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:33,
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Mike Dialup
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:49,
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Baud Adams
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:22,
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Modemis Roussos
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:40,
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BBS King
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:59,
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Telegraph Savalas
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 15:03,
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Fibre Woods
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 15:05,
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Misty in Routers
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 15:54,
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Bruce Wireless
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:44,
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Minnie Driver
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Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:45,
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vg
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:45,
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The Bluetooth Man Group
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:45,
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The Modem Lovers
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:46,
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i win, fuck you all
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 16:48,
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Jim Broadband
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Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:16,
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James sub-Broadband
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Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:18,
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Jim Baudbent
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:47,
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That I am an actual fucking prick.
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Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:16,
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There’s always one.
Or more.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:17,
archived)
Some of you have been here for decades and I don’t know a thing about you. I’m sure that’s a good thing in some cases, but for those of you who aren’t total fucking pricks: what’s the first thing I should know about you?
Alt: no there is no alt, answer the question, damn you.And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:25,
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*notes that Aardvark was born on 16/07/1924*
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:36,
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Wouldn't it be 1914 if it was my eleventy-first birthday?
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:51,
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This is why my complex identity-theft scheme fell flat on its face.
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:00,
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^Dildo Baggins
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:37,
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Why have i been excluded from this?
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:34,
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Don't tell anyone this: you're actually my favourite b3tan.
Don't tell anyone, because it's not true in any way.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:38,
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We all know the truth.
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Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:13,
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No, I'm telling them.
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:15,
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first of all, I'm a delight
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MiseryCunt, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:35,
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+angel
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:37,
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Yes but what else?
I already knew that.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:39,
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i once slipped and skewered my cock on a railing spike after slipping whilst leaning over these railings trying to knock on my own promenade apartment window
my whole bodyweight was on the spike which was in my cock as i effectively planked trying not to fall into the cut out for the basement windows. my knob went black.
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MiseryCunt, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 17:55,
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Well that’s certainly a story.
I hope your knob’s the right colour now.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 19:30,
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Well, I'm fresh 'cause I'm the best
And I get wild when I'm riled
I never get passed by 'cause I'm fly
And I'ma put you on hold 'cause I'm bold
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 13:45,
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Ok but that's four things and now I have to write them all down.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:02,
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all you need to remember is "overshares"
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The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:10,
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it's best to know absolutely nothing about me, perhaps even less than that x
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vladimir, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:04,
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I find this unacceptable, so tell me all of your darkest secrets.
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Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:08,
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absolutely not
*twitches*
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vladimir, Wed 16 Jul 2025, 14:28,
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