morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jan 2026, 7:23, Reply)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 8:06, Reply)

morning

( broadsword, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 8:38, Reply)

Morning.
I’ve got a job interview tomorrow. What applicable wisdom can the beautiful people of b3ta offer?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 8:46, Reply)

You apply Wisdom® to your toothbrush and brush your teeth with it.
Then go in and give them a nice shiny smile, and the job's as good as yours.

This advice was brought to you by Wisdom Toothbrushes Ltd.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:04, Reply)

And if they don't offer me the job, I bite them with my shiny clean teeth?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:05, Reply)

Just bare them and growl, that should jolt them into realising their error.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:24, Reply)

Is it public sector or private?

( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:14, Reply)

Public sector.
It's a job within the same organisation, so I can't go around and tell my colleagues what I really think of them even if I get the new role.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:17, Reply)

I can't offer any advice since you already work in public sector you know the score
Fingers crossed there's no preferred internal candidate
( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:22, Reply)

Wait crap I meant private. Why did I type public?
This is the sort of thing interviewers will probably try to trip me up on. Are you secretly working with them?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:23, Reply)

Too late
I'm sorry, we decided to go with a stronger candidate
( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:27, Reply)

You won't regret it

( mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:48, Reply)

I don't like it, but I understand.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:03, Reply)

Ich nichten lichten

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 11:49, Reply)

strong fitt
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:34, Reply)

Aardvark, chap... you're confusing "can't" with "probably shouldn't" again.
You absolutely can do that.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:46, Reply)

I believe in you.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:47, Reply)

Thanks DT.
To be fair, I already tell most of them exactly what I think of them, which is nothing.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:51, Reply)

The subtle genius of the Aardvark at work.
Carry on!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 15:31, Reply)

If they ask you, what do you find difficult, or what's your least comfortable situation, anything personally negative
Tell them you're not there to talk yourself down. You respond positively to all challenges, just like you're doing right now.
Someone I know got a very good job in part by saying this.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 14:49, Reply)

Wait. Are you actually trying to be helpful?
What the fuck?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 14:55, Reply)

And again, this actually worked.
They didn't even start him in the canned aisle, he went straight into the fruit and veg section, very nice.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 17:23, Reply)

Dude don't leave us hanging, I just know you got that job! I'll have a quad macchiato. double cup, sipper lid.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 3:47, Reply)

The interview isn't even for another two hours.
I probably won't find out if I got it for another week or so.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:10, Reply)

But I'll be sure to shit in your coffee as soon as I'm able.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 22 Jan 2026, 9:10, Reply)

"sustainably sourced ingredients"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jan 2026, 2:11, Reply)

Shit on the interviewer's desk to assert dominance.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:09, Reply)

I'm not sure if this was aimed at me, since you replied to yourself.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:18, Reply)

Both.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:47, Reply)

Morning

( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 9:13, Reply)

Saw a 24 Hours In Police Custody last night on zombie knives
seems like our whole stabbing crimewave in the UK is down to dodgy business practises by a former Junior Apprentice contestent. You coudn't make it up, even though I just did a bit.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 10:34, Reply)

hadn't previously heard of zombie knives so went looking
it turns out the cosmopolitan magazine website has a surprisingly large amount of articles on true crime
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 12:08, Reply)

I saw that
Half of them were just normal Rambo style hunting knives. Zombie my arse
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:00, Reply)

You just watched it because you're obsessed with zombies.
Zombie-this, zombie-that. It's all you ever talk about!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:12, Reply)

ha, yeah, I've got a zombie apocalypse escape plan!!!
man I am just so gosh darn waki
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:24, Reply)

You yoda mask wanker

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jan 2026, 13:26, Reply)

There is hazy skies here. Fuck this shit . I want my money back

( mongychops, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 11:20, Reply)

Simon & Garfunkzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jan 2026, 11:52, Reply)