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Hullo bumstain's
Turns out mum #2 'only' has non Hodgkins lymphoma, not myeloma. This is apparently good news.

Had any good news yourself l8ly?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 12:50, archived)
Yep. My mother in law is going to be staying with her other son towards the end of this week
so we've got a bit of time to ourselves. Yay! She's a lovely lady and the fact that she can't speak any English and I can't speak Portuguese means we get on really well, but she's on a long stay with us so it'll be good to have a bit of a break from each other.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 12:59, archived)
3wks with my FIL last year was just awful
He's a nice chap but also fucking weird
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:37, archived)
'Addicted to gay porn' weird, or 'obsessed with Jerry Brudos' weird?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:47, archived)
Robert Hairy-Palmer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:52, archived)
The Power Bottom

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:14, archived)
Both

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:04, archived)
Sadly not.
My news is sort of the opposite of yours. My aunt, who we're all very close to, has been more or less on the level since a cancer diagnosis a few years ago but now seems to be getting a lot worse quite quickly.

Dreading breaking the news to my little lad, as he dotes on her.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:58, archived)
ah shit mate sorry to hear this

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a ๐Ÿ””๐Ÿ”š, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:58, archived)
Thanks bro.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:04, archived)
Sounds wack yo

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:09, archived)
That's pretty rubbish.
Have you considered permanently renouncing all attachments to family members, to save yourself from this sort of pain and discomfort?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:25, archived)
That is shit
I am sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:26, archived)
Thanks garold.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:36, archived)
sorry dude

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:53, archived)
Fanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 15:05, archived)
I didn't shit myself.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:23, archived)
UPDATE: I just shat myself.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:24, archived)
Sure, but for a while there it was going great

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:54, archived)
Getting our problem trees removed, and our remaining trees topped and shaped, is only going to cost £4,500.
I mean that's a massive expense that we can't really afford just now, but it's a great price for what needs done.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:42, archived)
Alright, Saruman.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:45, archived)
If they could fucking walk away from next door's driveway and patio, they wouldn't need to die.
Seriously though, the guys cut down the biggest problem tree yesterday so I can count the rings. It was 29 years old, but it's put on about 30cm of diameter in the 7 years we've lived here, so no wonder it's causing problems. Fat cunts need to go.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:51, archived)
B3ta, you mean.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 20:32, archived)
You fucking what? I do remember you saying you were moving, was that really 7 years ago?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 22:40, archived)
You can't tell from rings. You got conned.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 22:55, archived)
treeception

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 6:34, archived)
ringception tho

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 21:21, archived)
money well spEnt

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:50, archived)
Good joke, HOOMan

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:52, archived)

our problem trees removed, and our remaining trees and shaped
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:52, archived)
If you think it'd cost that to have me whacked, they saw you coming

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 19:04, archived)
That's less bad news, not good news
But take what you can get.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 21:53, archived)
Got to the bog without starting. Triumph

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 0:27, archived)