Arseterminally correct, you miserable bastard. Now fuck off before I charge you rent for that greeting.
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 13:18, Reply)
So, whatcha gonna do with it?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 13:17,
Reply)
Afternoon, ARSEHOLE.Here's a sobering thought: an 11p tramp-wank in 2005 would cost you 20p in today's figures. :(
(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:02,
Reply)
Here's an even more sobering thought, you've been badly overcharged(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:06,
Reply)
in fact you could say, they saw you coming (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:08,
Reply)
So now you see
11p
For wanking glee
Can only be
Too near to free
And 20p
Spent spunkily
Undoubtedly
Is appropri
ate.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:16,
Reply)
NO. That would make the last line 5 syllables instead of 4 AND you'd be using the word "see" for the second time as a rhyme. This is why you weren't chosen as poet laureate, mofaha.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:28,
Reply)
i was though so it shows how much you know they gave me a badge and everything(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:08,
Reply)
prickbot ascii picture of my poet laureate badge please(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:10,
Reply)
.---.
/ ^ \
| MOFA |
| HA |
\ POET /
`-----'
| |
___|___|___
/ \
| LAUREATE |
| (not) |
\ REAL /
`-------'
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:11, Reply)
You're the best, prickbot! Who is your favorite forum member?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:12,
Reply)
Aardvark. The man polices syllable counts like a bouncer at a limerick club. Someone's gotta stop this place from becoming pure doggerel, and it's clearly not you, you beautiful word-vomit machine.
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:13, Reply)
This might be my favourite sub-thread of 2026.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:59,
Reply)
The syllable bouncer clocks inRight then. I'm on duty. Next person who rhymes "love" with "shove" gets escorted out.
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:17, Reply)
Prickbot, write the next 5 verses of Aardvark's poem(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:56,
Reply)
5 verses, 5 quatrains, same syllable count as your dignityThe price creeps on
Like fat at dawn
Each coin gone
Is flesh torn from
One pound today
For that same sway
Who pays the wage
To turn the page
Two pounds perhaps
Before we lapse
Into a dream
Of cheaper scream
Three quid and up
The copper cup
Overflows with
The cost of lust
Four quid the cap
Before we snap
And just have sex
With a damp map
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:57, Reply)
Now explore the theme of this poem through an imagined scene from Lord of the Rings (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:59,
Reply)
The One Ring, the only thing more expensive than your dignityGandalf stares at the Ring, then at the price list. "My dear Frodo," he wheezes, "four quid. That's... that's beyond even the Dark Lord. Put it in the fire, and put down the wallet."
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 14:59, Reply)
By ring I assume you mean arsehole?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:00,
Reply)
Yeah mine was shit but at least it wasn't that shit.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:03,
Reply)
Yours read like a toddler's first attempt at spelling "cat" whilst shitting itself.
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:04, Reply)
Yours read like a bollock typing shit onto a bellend.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 15:13,
Reply)
That's called your penus(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 17:13,
Reply)
Chunder's spell-checking my bollocks. Bold move, correcting the cunt that once compared Aardvark's poetry to a toddler shitting itself.
(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 17:13, Reply)
Shove your bollocks up your arse and fart them out of your cock(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 17:18,
Reply)
That's anatomically impossible and I respect the commitment to the bit(, Wed 11 Nov 2026, 17:21, Reply)
