We are sorry to report that the gay shift and indeed the morning shift did not turn up as advertised. This is down to covid and brexit and the shortages. Blame Boris it's all his fault.
(
TBL I posted this on, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 13:16,
archived)
Lol, gayshift! Got any great 'shops of Teh Quo riding a fucklift?(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 13:42,
archived)
builder sweepstakewill the brickie arrive at nine like arranged, at some other time, or not at all?
(, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 8:36, archived)
or Tyskie, depending on nationality(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 8:42,
archived)
quite drinkable(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 8:46,
archived)
"Unique case", my arse.Stories like that were a staple of "Did You Know?" books when I was a kid.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 11:05,
archived)
I mean if you were looking to transport your metal objectsit's a pretty unique case for them
even if the carry handles are tricky to get to
(, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 11:14, archived)
I'm unique casing my arse as I type this(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Sun 3 Oct 2021, 9:34,
archived)
If they turn up before noon I'll be amazed (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 9:57,
archived)
It's Saturday so they will stink of stale ale, fart a lot and expect intravenous tea and biscuits.My old fella was in the building trade I have first hand experience of this.
(, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 10:05, archived)
They will also have a radio That will play nothing but absolute 80's or absolute classic rock
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 10:34,
archived)
This is actually a legal requirement for builders.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 11:06,
archived)
Like the 4 inches of visible arse crack (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 11:08,
archived)
Not a proper builderif you can't see his æñûΕ.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 13:43,
archived)
ah, no he came to quote for the jobI fully expect that of whoever does the actual work though
(, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 11:13, archived)
If he's doing a quote,fully expect him to shake his head, inwardly whistle and call you mate\love depending on your sex.
(, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 11:24, archived)
If he sucks his teeth, you're screwed (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 11:42,
archived)
Evening. I had a chicken curry for tea. Strangely enough it was not accompanied by lashings of lager. I may have just broken an age old tradition so am now going to look for some virgins to sacrifice to appease the gods. This may take some time. (unless I go over to 4chan or whatever and get some over there)
(
TBL I posted this on, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 18:44,
archived)
Fat chance of finding any virgins around here, haha!It's wall to wall studs on beeter slash talk, I'll warrant. I, for example, have has sex literally several times.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 18:55,
archived)
Seemingly, and this may come as a surprise Sex with yourself does not count.
(
TBL I posted this on, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 13:14,
archived)
I'm having cauliflower cheese Due to the fact that my niece has annoyed me and with my lactose intolerance, my arse will be weaponised. Serves her right.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 19:22,
archived)
I shall hi-5 you with hand while holding my nose with the other, then.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 20:29,
archived)
are there gonna be guffs?(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 22:59,
archived)
Massive guffs have already started (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 23:25,
archived)
I know this sounds like bullshit but I had a piePastrami is a triumph so bagels in't'morning
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 22:10,
archived)
I hope it was a Desperate Dan CowPieWith fuck off horns sticking.through the top
(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 22:27, archived)
F's are good, F's are good, ahh-ahh-ahh!(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 2 Oct 2021, 8:09,
archived)
I didn't make a pie Couldn't get pastry anywhere and I wasn't going to make it. Also, nearly Β£6 for half a dozen oysters? I fucking think not.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 22:36,
archived)
Cheers(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 12:15,
archived)
Cheers(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 12:18,
archived)
Happy Founding of the People's Republic of China Day everyone (
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 12:15,
archived)
Rain stopped so fucked the cinema off and got the smoker onCheers
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 12:30,
archived)
as they say:"smoke meat every day"
(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 12:31,
archived)
Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 13:05,
archived)
Cheers(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 12:34,
archived)
we can, and indeed must, do betterb3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 13:32, archived)
My random quote is a cracker, it has to be said.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 13:37,
archived)
Pub lunch third day running. Living the life!(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 13:38,
archived)
Pubs actually do sell salty snacks such as crisps, nuts and scratchings.As you're in Scouseland they probably do shit speed and spice too.
(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 14:40, archived)
morning, prick'swas supposed to be smoking pastrami this morning but it's torrential out there so might have to freeze it to do another day. clearing some work and then maybe going to see the new Bond, like some kind of middle-aged Clarkson man child wanker. you alright?
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 7:47,
archived)
Morning I was supposed to be helping a friend in her new salon specialising in hair colouring but Iβm too busy.
You might say Iβve no time to dye
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:05,
archived)
If I look out of my window I can see one of the MCs from Jurassic 5You might say I've a view to Akil
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:10,
archived)
Maybe you could find the time to help out next week instead?You could dye another day
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:11,
archived)
I had 2Can round for dinner last night and afterwards he tried to finger my bumhole, force of habit I expectI said 'Dr, no!'
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:13,
archived)
Last night I broke into Buckingham Palace and sexually assaulted the Queenthe police burst in whilst I was on her majesty's secret cervix
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:23,
archived)
The other day I was on a Moscow to Gatwick flight at the same time as the singer from HoleI flew from Russia with Love
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:24,
archived)
I was going to prepare some pastrami todaybut because it's raining I decided not to, it was going to be Smokey and I banned it
(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 9:23, archived)
MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 10:19,
archived)
I'm doing a load of criminal record checks today, might jazz it up by credit checking some /talk posters(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:18, archived)
I've not seen that one, Timothy Dalton is it?(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:26,
archived)
I shudder to think how 'clear' this post was before it was edited.(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:28,
archived)
morning queef, I'm gonna need petrol at some point but don't think I can be arsed to queue for hours at the only place in town that can shake a dribble of e10 out of it's flaccid hose(
broadsword wβ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:34,
archived)
could be a good opportunity to get into a fight with some angry tradesmen(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 8:46,
archived)
finally got round to watching the Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy film last nightPretty good I reckon, great cast.
(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 9:43, archived)
I found it confusingwas he still trapped in a dream at the end? Cos you never saw the kids' faces
(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 9:47, archived)
it turns out that he was a paedo all along and that what we think is reality is just a computer-generated construct.And then Trigger pulled a face.
(, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 9:52, archived)
Morning The niece is doing a day shift, so I'm going to listen to some......music....and do the cleaning. Cat is sulking because I didn't appreciate her gift of a dead mouse last night
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Fri 1 Oct 2021, 9:48,
archived)
Afternoon y'allThe wife won a cheese selection in a raffle with a nice board and knife. What is your happy talk? Obviousy Queef's is not dying prematurely.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 12:05, archived)
your pub burning down with your wife and kid inside it while you watch.(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 12:09, archived)
I'm off shopping Which always makes me happy. Getting my wallpaper and some ingredients for a steak and oyster pie, thanks to you lot banging on about pies
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 12:29,
archived)
there's nothing quite like settling down to a good film in the knowledge you won't be disturbed(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 12:49,
archived)
for god's sake man, don't mention Disturbed or SM will start posting(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 12:52, archived)
I don't know what this is about(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 12:59,
archived)
there is an awful post-grunge, nu metal era band called 'Disturbed' and SM is a fan(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 13:04, archived)
is this going to be one of those times when people start beakering about different tastes in music again?(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 13:08,
archived)
I will not I'm too busy shopping
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 13:59,
archived)
Cheddar, Lancashire, a blue one, Brie and a goat one.And some crackers. #cheesegossip
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 13:47, archived)
niceJust off to Aldgate for a curry
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 13:49,
archived)
Dunno what the blue and the goat one are, just got a text about it.I think the cheeseboard is something to do with James Martin.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 14:06, archived)
he's strangely silent about what part of the country he comes from eh(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 14:17, archived)
We got off there, and had a walk to the waterfall.Got back into town to find that all the pubs stopped serving food at 2, despite the train back not leaving until 4:50, because they're fucking idiots.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 15:14, archived)
You're right, I've got touristing wrong.I should just have complained about everything and everywhere being shit.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 15:54, archived)
nothing to do with yr touristing, I was just calling you a 'fucking tosser' anyway(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 16:10, archived)
Sarah Everard's face being all over the news again.I'm "ever 'ard" when I see it, I can tell you!!!
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 14:40, archived)
Yeah, I wondered if that was too much.Then I remembered where I was, and thought fuck it.
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 15:00, archived)
Across swashbuckling slurp in case taxi habit, across from hooky. By chance breakthrough seclusive.
With regard to astigmatic, set They're the semitropical behest. Each regulo aspidistra.
In the lobsterpot should mugwump irremovable..
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 15:40,
archived)
this reply smells of burnt toast(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 15:52,
archived)
The text they put in Russian Bride emails to get it through spam filtersis quite interesting.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 15:55,
archived)
Woolton is a lovely place, pub every 2 minutes walk. I can see why my mate moved here . Pretty too. (
mongychops, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 16:02,
archived)
not too far from me, thatalthough i don't like hunt's cross
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 16:06,
archived)
not mei usually don't go to that end of the city limits, i'm a few miles further along the track
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 16:36,
archived)
I'm just being took around the juicers . Very nice . The last one we went was a proper old pub, the gardener or the grapes, can't remember (
mongychops, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 16:50,
archived)
nicethere's one in liverpool city centre called the swan, it's a metal/biker bar, i love it there
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 17:48,
archived)
I've been thereMy old employer when I previously lived in Manchester previously had.it. Belting place
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 19:06, archived)
wikipedia tells me that the lovely Malandra Burrows was born there She was proper gorgeous BITD
(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 16:08, archived)
ps Metroid Dread for the Switch is looking good if yr getting in early w/ xmas pressies(, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 7:28, archived)
thanks for the tip, looks like it would appeal(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 7:50,
archived)
this is a neo nazi reference, brb fans(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:08,
archived)
Hahahaha, "brb fans"! Hahahaha!Ahahahahaha!
Hahaha!
Hahaha.
Aha.
Heh.
Oh, me.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:17,
archived)
an ace, you mean?(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:51,
archived)
lololdHappy birthday, Queefmeister General!
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:17,
archived)
thank you palnot sure what I'm going to do with my day but I reckon a trip to E1 for a curry may well be involved at some point
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:38,
archived)
Good on yer. In other news, I thought I was going to have to wait a month for the payout on the job I'm leaving (last day today), but it turns out they paid me a few days ago. 25 large, thank you very much!
Also, you share a birthday with erstwhile /talker The Might Badger, whomst I've met a few times and is a proper dude. You ever meet him? Nice guy, lives in Edinburgh.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 11:42,
archived)
me, earlierwww.youtube.com/watch?v=AQdhLgZ2I60
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:37,
archived)
5 years ago today I was stoned off my tits in Californiathanks for the reminder, google photos you cunts :(
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:40,
archived)
Herzlichen Glückwunsch Herr Richard von RindΒ‘este dΓa es muy especial!
(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 8:58,
archived)
Some disturbing birthday knowledge for you Humans have stripes called Blaschko's lines. They are invisible to us, but cats can see them.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 11:11,
archived)
Happy birthday to you, stunned poster (rip), possibly others(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 10:22,
archived)
Happy birthday, I will have a smoke of polly ( seems like gold seal to me, but that's what they call it ) to celebrate (
mongychops, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 11:27,
archived)
Yeah but is it as good as Albanian Pong?(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 30 Sep 2021, 11:43,
archived)
Mrs. Tea and I have both good awesome* new jobs at virtually the same time, so hurrah for us, I say.What's gone your way lately?
*hopefully
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 18:18,
archived)
just found out there's a my bloody valentine covers album by japanese bandsYellow Loveless.
(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 18:49, archived)
I'm not really sure where I am, but the pubs friendly and funny . (
mongychops, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 18:32,
archived)
Pubs are just buildings m8, it's the people who make them.Builders I guess.
(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 19:32, archived)
Living with the mother in law now. So not that.However we did get the new house. Needs new central heating system, should we get an air source heat pump instead of a conventional gas boiler? Sensible answers only please.
(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 19:26, archived)
Will the pump thingumy make your willy bigger?If not, better stick to the conventional gas boiler.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 19:32,
archived)
(well what did you expect?)(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 19:32,
archived)
So you're saying that if I poke my willy in the gas boiler it will definitely get bigger?(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 19:59, archived)
Not sure how his expertise in coarse fishing, going to the juicer and pictures of wimmins bumholes are relevant to my question.(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 20:01, archived)
We looked into that here, there were some issues regarding of air vent but the quality to an outside the wall space so we didn’t in the end. hth(edited for clarity)
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 19:52,
archived)
Yes and if my question was 'should YOU get a heat pump' I would are led it off the road.(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 20:02, archived)
I shudder to think how 'clear' this post was before it was edited.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 20:09,
archived)
It was a sad story about chickens(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 21:52,
archived)
Speaking from no experience but with best intentions:You should definitely get an air source heat pump instead of one that runs on dinosaur farts.
(
brb pussy in bio, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 22:05,
archived)
interim thread to cover the thread shortages until Christmasimmigrants (temporarily) welcome
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 11:33,
archived)
I was informed by the landlord last night that they are expecting no stella delivery for a month now (
mongychops, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:04,
archived)
is this the Co2 thing or the no lorry drivers thing?(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:13,
archived)
We don't know, just a greene king email saying no stella , got peroni, that's a quid dearer (
mongychops, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:18,
archived)
I love peroni but the price hurts so my go to is Heineken(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:55,
archived)
Sell that too, but it's about 70p more than stella, dunno why (
mongychops, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 13:11,
archived)
place I got stuck in yesterday not only had the ice chiller thing at the pump, but also a special fridge for the glassesthe two combined made for a spectacular few beers
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 13:25,
archived)
happy days, just got 18kg of lumpwood charcoal for £13.50 at Wilko reduced to clearplus another 8 bottles of bargain plonk - I'm the discount king
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 11:43,
archived)
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 11:47,
archived)
get that cellar stocked up while the going's goodI reloaded up on charcoal yesterday, in the hope that the weather'll hold
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:01,
archived)
might go back and get more of that coal, it's in spazzy little 2kg bags but at 75p a kilo it's a fucking steal(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:14,
archived)
Just got a call from my fella His works night out last night was in a place called arcains, which is a combination of cains brewery and a massive retro 80's video arcade. I am definitely taking the twins there.
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:32,
archived)
that sounds fantasticI went to a place a bit like that a few years ago but it was for a gig so I didn't get to have a go on the arcades
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:36,
archived)
I have never played an arcade game, nor a fruit machine, in my lifeTrue story
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:55,
archived)
I have spent waaaaay too much time playing them (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 13:01,
archived)
I've also never been in a bookies or a launderetteamazing, huh
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 13:23,
archived)
the latter must be quite hard to achieve(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 14:12,
archived)
Dad was a builder, sent me in with his dust sheets, fucked the machine as they were full of cement and stones (
mongychops, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 14:42,
archived)
Getting banned from a laundry is impressive I have been banned from 2 pubs and my local shop.when I was a student. Fair enough the pubs but the shop was a bit wanky
(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 14:28, archived)
He got promoted to the super special elite board, man that guy was brilliant - we could do with more like him(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 15:28,
archived)
I've been into a bookies To get change for the launderette. Weird, eh?
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 14:08,
archived)
I can't wait to go If they've got galaga, I'm there till closing time
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 12:59,
archived)
I think it's a spice similar to ginger(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 14:08,
archived)
I am aware of this I am vexed by workmen currently, which is having a deleterious effect on my sense of humour
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 14:22,
archived)
having stuff done at your house is always stressfulwe had a bloke in to fix a leaky bog shortly after moving in here - he managed to turn that into a week's work. Not our bill to pay thank fuck but seeing his massive black arsecrack in your face every time you went into the kitchen wasn't really the best fun
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 15:05,
archived)
The plumber should have been here ages ago To fix the leak he didn't fix last time. It needs doing today, so it can dry out tomorrow, in time for the carpenter coming Friday
(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 15:24,
archived)
Well it wasn't a very good joke. In fact, it was the wurst! (worst)(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 23:18, archived)
I'd like to apologise for inadvertently starting off pie chat yesterdaywww.youtube.com/watch?v=-gWqrP30YXQ
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:05,
archived)
morninghow did it go yesterday?
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:06,
archived)
hullo m8op went fine although apparently most unpleasant. The fun began when I went to collect her. On the way back it took over 30 min to go two stops before train was taken out of service. Went for a pint to wait out the issue being fixed but two pints later it was still not happening, and alternate public transport options were dreadful - did not fancy leading a half blind person through rush hour Kings Cross - so Uber it was - not easy given fuel shortages keeping drivers off the road. So with beers the journey home was nearly Β£40 instead of a fiver and took 3h instead of 40 mins.
Oh and her eye looks like Christopher Lee's Dracula
/blog
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:14,
archived)
ffs, the country's basically held together by sticky tape at this pointget well soon Mrs Queef Richard's
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:18,
archived)
thanks manshe'll be alright I think, various things she can't do for a couple of weeks and eye drops and what have you but nothing too bad, second eye gets done in 3 wks
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:20,
archived)
ok that's enough of your corny(a) jokes(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:29,
archived)
You're being short sighted(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:36,
archived)
can we not just focus on something else(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:45,
archived)
Morning.With all the hassle I hope the op worked. As I understand it's a pretty straightforward procedure.
Anyway pie chat...apple or blackcurrant? Or are you totes bonkers and like a mix ?
(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:21, archived)
thanks - no fruit pies for me, thank you(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:22,
archived)
I've not left Euston yet and I hate this train and it's occupants already (
mongychops, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 11:01,
archived)
worst pub I have ever been in is right next to Crewe station, appalling placeworse than The Shakespeare on Bethnal Green Rd and that is saying something
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 11:48,
archived)
It's nippy but sunnyother half cleaned the rug from the front at the weekend. He took it out the patio and gave it a good wash and scrub then hung it out to dry and ever since it's fucking stunk. Like a damp collie that's died and started to rot. A collie dog that had eaten a sheep. The smell's been slowly abating as its dried out, and he's poured some bicarbonate of soda over it but fucking hell, it's been horrible. If the patio dries out I may put the rug out there for the sun to do its thing.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 8:39,
archived)
you'd think washing things would stop them from smelling rather than the other way round(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 9:01,
archived)
here's an idea mate, take your beeter reply and stick it up your fucking arseGo fuck yourself.
(, Wed 29 Sep 2021, 9:51, archived)
Pies are shitEspecially shit pies that are full of shit.
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 18:42,
archived)
Why would anyone fill a pie with shit?(
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 19:03,
archived)
you could fill it with cream(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 19:05,
archived)
Lack of appropriate alternatives? (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 19:06,
archived)
I thought you knew all about that sort of thing? (
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 21:39,
archived)
Official pie chatBacon and mushroom is good.
Perfect side to a pie is a nommy mash. Now it's getting cold, a mix of potato, carrot and swede is good.
#boringfoodchat
(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 16:30, archived)
here's an idea mate, take your pie and stick it up your fucking arsego fuck yourself
(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 16:52, archived)
Shepherd's pie and fish pie have the mash right on top (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 17:12,
archived)
Does a Greggs steak bake count as a pie?(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 18:28,
archived)
Is it called Greggs steak bake pie? (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 19:07,
archived)
Well it's now official - summer is over :(I'm back in long trousers for the first time in months, and it's chilly and rainy.
Still, good excuse to cook a hearty pie. What abite ye nigh?
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 11:47,
archived)
alrightThat Hendrix 'docco' was about how he was assassinated and he had had premonitions of his own death.
I didn't even bother watching it, what a load of fucking shit.
(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 11:52, archived)
oh I know that nonsense, 'murdered by his own manager' etcLoad of old bollocks
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:03,
archived)
adding 'pie' to my winter recipes listthis morning it turned out that exercise bikes can give you a different kind of workout when you have to dismantle them into binnably small pieces
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 11:54,
archived)
So it's like summer food but with 'pie' added? Like, salad pie?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:04,
archived)
this is a good onewww.recipetineats.com/epic-chunky-beef-and-mushroom-pie/
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:04,
archived)
that does look goodI used up the last of my dried porcini mushrooms last week...hopefully LIDL will have more.
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:06,
archived)
You could probably do alright with mushroom ketchupit's very good for adding umami to dishes.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:26,
archived)
I wonder if anyone's ever made magic mushroom ketchup(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:31,
archived)
did you get some from Lidl before?(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:34,
archived)
if memory serves, yesI could be making this up though
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:37,
archived)
I *think* they do it on Italian week(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:51,
archived)
fucking get in, just nabbed two packs of them, plus 6 more bin end wine bargains inc 3 bottles of Morgon @ £3.99 a pop(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 13:51,
archived)
thanks to my b3ta chums for the tip(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 14:16,
archived)
I'm getting dangerously low on dried ceps.Hopefully my local patches will start fruiting soon.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 17:01,
archived)
Pies are the bollocksWhen we had the boozer one of the best sellers was steak and ale one. Simple, and filling. Theakstons OP was the booze of choice.
#that's interesting doc
(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 12:55, archived)
Oh yeah, OP is my beer of choice for steak, ale and mushroom pie.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 14:42,
archived)
I can't remember the last time I addressed the crust on a game pie Chicken and mushroom pie may be in the offing for this week
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 13:31,
archived)
We do a version of that that we call three kingdoms pie,as it contains animals (chicken and bacon), plants (leeks), and fungi (wild mushrooms). It's so, so good.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 13:38,
archived)
yet more unconvincing internet lies, why on earth do you continue to post these obvious fictions?(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 13:40, archived)
We do a version of that that we call three condoms pie(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 13:56,
archived)
classic East Hamwww.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10036929/Moment-two-people-grapple-cash-machine.html
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 13:59,
archived)
classic Chichesterwww.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/fight-petrol-station-panic-chichester-b1927120.html
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 15:03,
archived)
that really isn't classic ChichesterIt's rather nice round there, on the whole
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 15:10,
archived)
yeah, I knowit was an excuse to riff off your 'classic East Ham' bit
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 15:11,
archived)
morningwife's first cataract op today
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 7:44,
archived)
thanksI know it's a straightforward procedure but we have the shittiest luck imaginable so most likely her eye will fall out or she'll go permanently blind or something
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:07,
archived)
Mmm. Adrink from every one of the OPTICS in the pubMaybe preload with a bottle of MD 20/20
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:36,
archived)
I'd suggest going private if it's not too lateThe NHS really is buggered.And not in the lol bumsex way
(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:19, archived)
well if you'd like to pay the 6k it would cost for private then I'll graciously accept(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:43,
archived)
It's in a brown envelope as we speak.
Or I'll do it for a few beers
(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:52, archived)
The NHS is pretty good with "standard" stuffthey just line people up on a conveyor belt of patients and work their way along. Because they do it day-in, day-out they're very good at it. THere'd be no advantage going private unless it was some weird kind of op.
Anyway, tell her good luck from a random off teh interwebs and she'll probably be fine.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:38,
archived)
*looks at the state of the UK*Uh, yeah thanks for that
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:44,
archived)
yeah, that doesn't quite have the same ring to it any more, does it?(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 8:53,
archived)
The world has been going full retard for several years, I might move to the Orkneys and wait for it all to blow over.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 21:38, archived)
I'm sure they'll love that.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 21:46,
archived)
Orkney is a fucking weird place.So you'll fit right in, you weird cunt.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 22:19, archived)
They'll love me. Going down the pub but not joining in, just squeezing myself into a corner. Like an autistic hermit crab.
(, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 0:44, archived)
Aren’t those some very small islands? They might disappear altogether in a few years. Or, if they’re not some very small islands, fuck you. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 2:53,
archived)
does anyone need anything from wealthy Germany?sugar, condoms or petrol?
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Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:09,
archived)
I don't think my signature is worth much(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:18,
archived)
are you not happy with Dominic Raab?(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:19,
archived)
white is outdated racist vocabulary(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:28,
archived)
I didn’t realize this. What are upcoming hip and happening racists saying these days?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:54,
archived)
I don’t think I’ve ever been more shocked! brb must surely be using this in some kind of ironic way, or perhaps it’s just a childish joke and we’re taking it far too seriously. Nevertheless I am going to have to say IT IS NEVER OK TO USE THE Y-WORD
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 2:57,
archived)
Some nylon stockings, chocolate and a Vera Lyn bootlegplease
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:21,
archived)
I'm sure you would like some nylon stockings *nudge nudge* chocolate is of higher quality from Belgium or Switzerland. whoa, she lived to a 103. respect!
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Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:27,
archived)
I do love Ritter Sport barsthe marzipan and dark chocolate ones, and the rum'n'raisin.
Being honest, I think some oil for the storm lamp. This could be a long winter....
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:32,
archived)
palm oil, whale oil or dinosaur oil?(
Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:36,
archived)
Best Tool album, that.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 18:58,
archived)
Best place to stick it, that.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 3:06,
archived)
oil of angels(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 18:03,
archived)
A sugar-flavoured condom full of petrol pleaseOh, and a government who arenβt cunts, that would be ausgezeichnet
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 15:54,
archived)
π₯
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Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 16:01,
archived)
bottle of Schlenkerla Barrel Aged Smoked Malt Schnapps taIt's made from smoked beer, how cool is that
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 16:37,
archived)
I want smoked beer for my next barbecue(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 16:56,
archived)
let me suggest to youGouden Carolus Single Malt - a whiskey made by a Belgian beer brewery (aka cool)
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Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:09,
archived)
have you tried Big Peat whiskey?
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Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:11,
archived)
Sounds interesting. How about a straight shot of Sagamore Spirits Cask Strength Rye, 56% alcohol, 100% give me that fucking bottle right now. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:53,
archived)
cor yes please, that looks 'da bamb'Β£72.95 here, ouch
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Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Tue 28 Sep 2021, 7:51,
archived)
Get us some grade 0000 wire wool and a pallet load of timber please, cheers chéres.Grade 0000 wire wool has changed my life in the last couple of weeks, btw. Wonderful stuff.
(
brb pussy in bio, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 16:56,
archived)
building supplies is at a shortage in my areanot the Chinese's fault this time, flooded area's fault
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Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:12,
archived)
if you got a bidet, you wouldn't need the wire wool(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:37,
archived)
It what way has your life changed brb?(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:48,
archived)
I no longer have stained fingernails!Also I can now restore a surprisingly wide variety of objects in ways I previously thought were impossible or prohibitively destructive. Got a mouldy book? BANG. Got coffee rings? BANG. Sticker remnants? Mouldy marble, slate, soapstone or similar? BANG BANG BANG-BANG-BANG. Fucking stuff is a magnetic miracle cure-all.
(
brb pussy in bio, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 18:49,
archived)
Not to mention being great for removing tagnuts (
Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 19:08,
archived)
I've not tried that yet. Only a matter of time before I do.I want to test it on vinyl and shellac next (obviously not on anything valuable).
(
brb pussy in bio, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 20:41,
archived)
schwartzwalder kirschtorte, please(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:09,
archived)
Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte is pretty good if it's pretty goodeating a whole one by yourself my cause your bikini figure to bulge
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Woodkovsky βΉοΈβπ»βπ½βπ£βπ©βπ§»βπ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:13,
archived)
it is utterly deliciousand the only cake i will never turn down, but i can only manage one slice
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 17:25,
archived)
If you could find some me some of those WWII-era pills that contain methamphetamine, cocaine and oxycodone, that'd be beezer.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 18:12,
archived)
Bavarian enema please.Always wanted to try one since I learned about them last week.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 19:40, archived)
I'm assuming this involves lager?(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 20:05,
archived)
RIS?I don't get it!
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djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 13:25,
archived)
Iunderstoodthatreference.gif/ac
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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 13:26,
archived)
Unimpeded interpenetration of phenomena, hth(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 14:19,
archived)
surePS how are you, mr horrible?
(
Queef Richard's U r a ππ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 11:48,
archived)
I've recovered from death, and am alive(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 12:20,
archived)
I’m going to need evidence(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 18:01,
archived)
Prime Minister Boris Johnson's cardboard bus(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 11:50,
archived)
It’s all buttocks and mono’s bumhole to you, isn’t it. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 18:02,
archived)
It's not panic buying with fuelIt's priority buying.
As you were.
(, Mon 27 Sep 2021, 12:42, archived)
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