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# Newsletter subject line compo
hello me old chinas
I want some one liners
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:39, archived)
# European stock market to crash before Nasa Satellite
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:40, archived)
# I FUCKING LOVE FRIDAY!
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:41, archived)
# This travelled to you at 299,792,459 metres per second.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:41, archived)
# Shiny Happy People: Please fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:42, archived)
# Arriving in your in-box before it should do....
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:42, archived)
# Ha!
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:46, archived)
# This canoe is fucking shit!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:42, archived)
# "Every sperm is sacred, except for you Gingers"
(I helped save b3ta! Trogdos The Raging Cuntmuffin, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:43, archived)
# ^ pfft
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:45, archived)
# i had that story sent to me loads with LOL YOU'RE GINGER comments
which is fair enough, I am. But it did make me wonder about the demand on different sperm. Presumably there's lots of factors that can influence demand - race, earning, education, height etc.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:50, archived)
# it's jealousy
they got red envy.

red envy!

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:11, archived)
# Einstein was wrong....this is even wronger.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:45, archived)
# Neutrinos come faster than a virgin in a whorehouse
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:46, archived)
# Beating the sloppy seconds recession
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:46, archived)
# Fucking up your NewsFeed for the lulz
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:46, archived)
# What's the fr3qu3ncy K3nneth?
(too supple?)
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:47, archived)
# supple?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:47, archived)
# Bent
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:42, archived)
# What's thmc^2 frmc^2qumc^2cy, Kmc^2nnmc^2th?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:48, archived)
# The force is strong with this one. Ooh stop mucking about!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:47, archived)
# Carry on up the Internet - The Screenplay
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:48, archived)
# Now with 18% less pikies.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:48, archived)
# Last 100 years "proved useless" as Einstein discredited. World starts again at 1913
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:49, archived)
# Guaranteed not to spontaneously combust (except in Ireland)
(I helped save b3ta! betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:49, archived)
# Fuck this for a lark. Every Friday I do this and do I ever get any thanks? Do I fuck. Piss off out of it you witless cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:50, archived)
# R.E.M. split up! World reacts with apathy, says "I thought they already had"
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:51, archived)
# Taking bets on U2
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:52, archived)
# I doubt it
they're the biggest touring band in the world. Not my bag personally, but I assume they'll go on forever until Bono is killed. I'm not suggesting you kill him. That would be wrong. But it would stop them.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:54, archived)
# We wouldn't need to kill him, just rip out his voice-box
Though thinking about it he'd probably just get a Stephen Hawking machine and use that instead. Maybe you're right, killing him would stop them.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:56, archived)
# REM split. Reform as ERM.
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:53, archived)
# They called themselves Negro Eyes at one point
I think Cans of Piss was another early name. Maybe they should use one of them for future releases.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:54, archived)
# Rewriting the physics books by bringing you next weeks' newsletter today
(TitanLX, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:54, archived)
# With oil shares rapidly falling, God feels he is on the brink of winning Deity "Go for Broke"
De-RIS:

www.amazon.co.uk/Go-For-Broke-Board-Game/dp/B0006GWQ0U
(I helped save b3ta! betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:54, archived)
# Oasis split, Faithless split, REM split, Coldplay...?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:57, archived)
# Proof that there is not such thing as divine intervention.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:08, archived)
# Go on then, travel.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:57, archived)
# 100% Increase in Irish Spontaneous Combustion. Bono to turn off the sun that shines out of his own arse for safety purposes.
too long?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:59, archived)
# Proving neutrinos still can't travel as fast as bad news
(I helped save b3ta! betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:01, archived)
# Proudly sponsoring "Wanking for World Peace 2011"
(I helped save b3ta! betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:07, archived)