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Help us choose the new Question Of The Week

Here we go again - choose from...

'Well that was a bit odd...' - Tell us about your strange encounters, probably with drunk people

Not Impressed - Ever tried (and failed) to impress someone? How badly did it go wrong?

Give thanks - Tell us what you're thankful for. Be fluffy people.

Irrational Fears II - We last did this in 2004. We dare say you've found new things to cack your pants over since then

The B3TA Detective Agency - Tell us about your feats of deduction and the little mysteries you've solved. Alternatively, tell us about the simple, everyday things that mystified you for far too long.

'I was bored and...' - We all do stupid things while we're bored. With nothing better to do, I once attempted DIY surgery. Didn't end well...

Vote closes 1pm-ish.

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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 10:55, archived)

"i was bored and..." will lead to a multitude of cock-stuck-in-a-bottle stories

not impressed? we won't be, i'm sure.
give thanks? what for? i'm pissed off already.
irrational fears? i fear the amount of puns
the B3TA detective agency seems the best of a bad bunch.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:03, archived)

^What she said^

Although I quite like "Give thanks", but it does sound one sandwich short of a church outing.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:04, archived)

if that gets voted in, i foresee an increase in tambourine sales

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:07, archived)

*invests in brass*

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:08, archived)

i read that as "invests in bras"

and wondered what you were up to

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:14, archived)

I used to be a mayor, you know.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:17, archived)

I'M 78, YOU KNOW!

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:21, archived)

RPM?

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:38, archived)

pfff

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:39, archived)

and the rest!:P

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riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:03, archived)

cheeky bugger!

it's not my birthday till next saturday!

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:05, archived)

I'll inform the queen:P

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riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:31, archived)

you're going the right way for a smacked bottom

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:48, archived)

*takes notes*

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Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:12, archived)

Vote for mine: "Things I've found down the back of the sofa".

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:03, archived)

I voted.

But couldn't find where to vote.

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Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:06, archived)

Did you find rain?:D

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riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:11, archived)

close QOTW

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:03, archived)

We've been here before, haven't we? Where would that leave you?

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:08, archived)

on one of the many other boards

that way we'd all be spread slightly less thin

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:09, archived)

No one forces you to go onto QOTW.

Although admittedly there is something of a moth/naked flame situation, I grant you.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:18, archived)

quite a few people have complained of the poor quality there for a while now

I think it's run its course

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:19, archived)

Quite so. Indeed - it seems to be your raison d'etre, by the looks of things.

QOTW's great. Like /board, there's some great stuff, there's shit, but generally it's quite a good laugh.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:21, archived)

I disagree

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:25, archived)

Why?

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:27, archived)

it stands out as the one dull part of the site

and seems to be full of very sensitive people who get defensive a bit too easily

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:31, archived)

So why do you go there, then?

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:35, archived)

God's sake

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:56, archived)

Whoa! Back the truck RIGHT up!

You're on a mission from god?!

Dear Christ even when I was a student that was a nerdy joke!

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:00, archived)

^^ What The VAG said ^^

Don't get him angry.

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The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)

it was an exasperated 'for god's sake'

right now you're epitomising the kind of QOTW-ers I want to avoid

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:07, archived)

DON'T FUCKING GO ON QOTW THEN YOU STUPID CUNT

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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:11, archived)

^What bitchtits said^

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:20, archived)

see what I mean by defensive?

if there weren't so many of us going over there to take the mick it would be an empty wasteland, with the occasional self back-slapping post from some creepy weirdo about how he saw a pair of breasts once

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:23, archived)

It's not defensive, it's simple common sense

If /qotw upsets your delicate sensibilities so much, then don't fucking go there. Or, if you insist on going there, don't bring your butthurt "Waaah, I hate /qotw so much that I spend the majority of my time there" whining onto /board.

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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:30, archived)

do I seem upset?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:54, archived)

You realise you're making very little sense?

You don't like QOTW but you go there to take the piss and are now complaining that if you didn't, there wouldn't be anything there but you want it closed down because you don't like it because it's full of people taking the piss and that's the only reason you go there because otherwise it would be empty so that's why you want it closed down even though you go there?

lolwut?

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Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:30, archived)

ha!

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:55, archived)

I really don't get this.

You are claiming, if I'm right, that you sneer at QOTW because when you rile and insult them, they get defensive, and this pisses you off, and you get upset and defensive.

I'm struggling to see what alternative reaction you would expect.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:31, archived)

I'm starting to lose track of how many layers of knickers are now in a twist here

can I have a diagram.

preferably with tentacles.

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:19, archived)

man these guys get upset real quick

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:54, archived)

tell them that their shoes are crap too!

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:48, archived)

I never once said I was pissed off

are you taking anything for your high blood pressure?

It could be indicative of heart disease

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:56, archived)

you may not be pissed off

but you're acting like a bellend

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mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:06, archived)

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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:31, archived)

it appears that I am not the only one

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 15:38, archived)

maybe not

but in this instance, you are.
bellend

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real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 16:21, archived)

I'll just leave this here

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barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:12, archived)

this is actually mental

you're all so wound up by it that you're coming across like lunatics

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:24, archived)

yes, you're absolutely right

posting a pic on /board is truly "lunatic" behaviour

you prize muppet

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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:34, archived)

Ha ha!

They're just winding you up. They live for flouncing.

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Smallbrainfield, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:35, archived)

We all love a good ol flounce

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Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:37, archived)

You seem to be the only one getting wound up

I think everyone else is just wondering why you are going to such lengths to look a bit stupid.

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Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:38, archived)

CUNT OFF YOU PRICK

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An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:48, archived)

Oddly, 'prick' means 'dot' in swedish.

(macroscian (1 like), Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:14, archived)

what does dot in swedish mean...

in Swahili?

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:27, archived)

Nice candle!

(macroscian (1 like), Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:30, archived)

Tack!

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 14:48, archived)

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Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:46, archived)

that cat is evil

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:48, archived)

Don't worry.

I smashed it up with hammers.

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Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:49, archived)

good to know

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:58, archived)

No, this cat is...

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riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:30, archived)

*fears*

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:49, archived)

You might need an outdoor break

Or to sign up to the Daily Mail

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@><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:27, archived)

On /talk, we like truth fairy.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:10, archived)

I like her on /offtopic as well.

Most don't.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:15, archived)

wha..?

they don't? :(

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:25, archived)

Yeah, but nobody likes /offtopic, so it balances out.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:02, archived)

... and Doritos.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:22, archived)

everyone likes doritos

especially the tangy cheese ones

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:28, archived)

How about just not bothering for a week or two?

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:11, archived)

Where does this comedy resentment of QOTW by /talk stem from, Brayn?

I'm genuinely interested, and you seem to be a major proponent of it.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:26, archived)

No resentment, it's just fun to wind up the oversensitive autisms that have overrun it.

If it weren't for all the MASSIVE DRUGS and Honda According, I imagine it'd get ignored, but it's just too easy.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:35, archived)

So ... if it's fun ...

why do you want to close it?

Or is this one of those memetic standard responses?

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:39, archived)

Because that would be the ultimate in upsetting the idiots that have unfortunately come to represent everyone's idea of a qotw poster.

It's the whole thing about how any group is usually judged by its loudest members, and it just so happens that the loudest members on qotw are the ones that I imagine even most qotw users wish would shut the fuck up.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:41, archived)

This is confusing.

You mean, you're trying to help QOTW?

You're ... you're white knighting QOTW.

I see. How noble. I admire your stance, Sir - long may you endeavour.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:44, archived)

Nope, qotw is beyond saving.

The best we can do now is laugh as it dies a slow and painful death from rectal cancer.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:48, archived)

Whatever, Mary Poppins.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:55, archived)

A spoonful of MASSIVE DRUGS helps the Honda Accord pin the smackhead to the wall.

In the most autistic way.

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:03, archived)

Needs more "of justice"

I would like a link to the original HAoJ story, if you've got one. It sounds like it's absolutely fantastic.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:04, archived)

Unfortunately it has been deleted, the best I can offer you is this.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post423260#post423289

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:06, archived)

And from the user who posted the original Accord story:

b3ta.com/questions/conned/post94756

b3ta.com/questions/drugs/post45448

b3ta.com/questions/rubbishtowns/post553917

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BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:11, archived)

I think I'm in love.

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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:19, archived)

^this

in fucking spades

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:46, archived)

he said "members"

twice.

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 13:28, archived)

QOTW, unsure what that is

but that will not stop me from casting a vote!

(macroscian (1 like), Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:14, archived)

try saying it out loud a few times.

get it now?

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RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:15, archived)

I say "Well, that was a bit odd"

There could be nothing better than a list of things that are a "bit" odd. not like really odd and worth repeating, just things like they were a "bit" odd, like observing your pen rolled slightly on your desk, which you had previous believed to be perfectly level. But then it turned out some had lifted the corner of the desk to put a cable under the leg, and the little rubber put was just resting sligtly on the foot of the desk adjacent to it, causing about a 2 degree slope until you jiggled the desk and it was, once more, flat. odd. but only a bit.

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RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:18, archived)

what about the sheep

that, the following morning, were facing the other way?

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:23, archived)

that's a bit odd, yes.

there would probably be a sheep count threshold though. if there were more than say, 40 sheep, with more than an 90% orientation change factor, that would probably go from "a bit" to "quite"...

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RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:26, archived)

well, quite

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:27, archived)

winner

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Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:24, archived)

om my god!! who voted for irrational fears?!?

shit shit shit!!! We're all gonna die now

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PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:08, archived)

Woh!

What happened to Frazer?

On second thoughts, I like you better. Carry on.

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LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:11, archived)

Fraser is missing, presumed imprisoned for noncing

As yet there is no new image challenge. But feel free to declare one and start posting pictures into one of the challenges currently going.

Actually it just occurred to me that B3ta needs a "He's on fucking fire!" challenge. Be right back.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:23, archived)